Make up some changelogs for Real Life!

[CyanideApple]

In this thread, the goal is to make up some ridiculous 'update notes' that would show on the Title page of Real Life if it was a game. I will start you off with a couple:

Update 3.7.1

• Fixed bug where School was fun
• Tweaked America to make it great again
• Added Brexit

 

[macnor]

Update 2.0.1.7.

• Added Trump as new USA president
• Fixed bug where blindness was possible
• Tweaked Syria and North Korea to increase chance of war with USA
• Removed Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton

 

[SinkingSailor]

Update 2.0.1.8

• Increased chance for Global Warming
• Re-added Dodo Birds
• Fixed a bug where FNAF was still popular.

 

[Creeper da Snek]

2.0.1.9 Changelog:
Added the "Trump Bombs Syria" event to timeline.

 

[Vitrolic Medicine]

2.0.2.0 Changelog:

Added the "World War III" event to timeline.
Fixed chances of humanity to obey their leaders - it's now 60%.

 

[macnor]

Update 2.0.2.1.

• Removed UN convention against nuclear war
• Began "Nuclear Holocaust" event

 

[Parasy]

Update 2.0.2.2

Added new tank models
Buffed Nuclear Bomb spread, wasn't large enough
Removed AK47
Added new minigame "Half Life 3"

 

[Creeper da Snek]

Update 2.0.2.3

Removed Half-Life 3; It caused too many Valve-related bugs.

 

[Parasy]

Update 2.0.2.4

Removed glitch where you could buy food at Starbucks

 

[Asteroidal_Assassin]

Update 2.0.2.4

+Raised gun damage

+Trench coats give you +90 armor

-Removed glitch where Fedoras aren't considered cool

-Removed glitch where trench coats aren't cool

-Removed glitch where neckbeards wear fedoras and trenchcoats

 

[InsertUsernameHere]

Update 2.1.1
- Added the full version of the internet. Users can now access more than their homepage.
- Added new fandoms
- Added the Nintendo Switch
- Removed Herobrine
- Minor bug fixes.

 

[Marthinus]

Update 1.9.9.4

• Started the World War II event

+Added Hitler as the German Fuhrer.
-Removed a glitch where people were safe.

 

[The kamen rider]

Update 6.6.6

• Removed Hallow.
• Fixed a bug that caused the Underworld to only spawn underground.

 

[Asteroidal_Assassin]

Fixed a bug that caused the Underworld to only spawn underground.

The perfect human doesn't exi-

 

[TMB50]

Update 2.0.42
Finished "World War III" Event.
Removed most previous factions in the world map because they were getting too stale.
Removed 4Chan.

 

[macnor]

Update 2.0.4.3.

• Added USA Empire, controls most of Western Hemisphere
• Added Russian Empire, controls most of Eastern Hemisphere
• Added Middle Eastern Islamic Union
• Added the Antarctica Rebellion force
• Added the Wastes, areas of each country destroyed by WWIII
• Removed Abortion due to lack of in-game pregnancies rendering the function useless

 

[WingedOracle]

Update 5.5.5

• Added Emojis
• Fixed bug where people weren't addicted to phones
• Added Flame Wars

 

[CyanideApple]

Well that escalated quickly...

Update 2.0.4.4

• Fixed bug where things didn't escalate quickly

 

[Huzbubber Tim]

Update 21.0.7.6

-Fixed bug where zombies don't come to life at night.

-Added more memes.

-Removed more dead memes.

-Fixed bug where people didn't respawn after death.

-Added +967,685,468,460,153 to the Human Population.

-Added +1 planet to the Solar System.

-Fixed bug where green energy didn't pollute.

-Fixed bug where green energy was green instead of blue.

-Fixed bug where weapons one-shot people, people now have 50 HP and 5 Defense.

 

[SteelSt0rmMaster]

2.0.4.5

+ Added flying cars
+ Added Memes to history class