I show it my McDonalds fries, and I then eat them. It cries so loud it dies of sadness.
Floor 823 has a box of paper towels. The paper towels are coated in petroleum jelly. The room is also filled with candles. The paper towel box is weight activated and wired to the door, which means you have to pick up a paper towel in order to activate the circuit to lower the weight. Petroleum jelly is flammable.