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Wait what? Do you have anyone who would be open to buying 18 road flares?

You could try asking my flipping roommates. God, what idiots.

You mean they actually did that? That is dumber than putting a screen door on a submarine.

No prizes for guessing who had to put out the carpet fire and clean up the mess.

Ach, the landlord's going to kill us.

Oh wow. That sucks. They should have.

You're ok right?

My hair is slightly singed due to the heat and fire, but I'm mostly fine, save for the hair I'm shedding panicking about what'll happen next.

I'm afraid I don't know how to help. You were not at fault for starting the fire, the question is who to contact. The fire department? The landlord to throw your roommates under the bus? I've only lit dinner on fire and that didn't cause damage.

The fire is no more - I managed to put it out before the whole living room caught ablaze.

As much as I'd hate to vouch for them now, they were pretty drunk when all of this happened. Now, I tend not to drink, so I suppose I'm grateful for that.

I'll give them the night to detoxify, and when they are sober enough, let them know exactly what transpired the afternoon prior.

I hope things work out for you.

Your sentiments are appreciated.

I've decided not to bother; I'll let them come up with the excuse.

B-but.. your birthday is in June!

They're so close with primary particles

Mesons- quark anti-quark pairs. They just add weight to a secondary particle and are probably the most moronic thing to them.

@Kalifox, it was a friend of a friend's birthday.

@Chazm, you may be referring to Mesons; Muons are essentially heavy electrons.

Ah crap.

You're correct there.
Heavy electrons as in 'leptons', the next heaviest being the tau.

And the heaviest of all being ye olde mum

That'd be the top quark, Kalifox. (which is also the most moronic meson- 346 GeV/c^2 for a 199.4 MeV/c^2 proton is massive.)

Higgs boson comes second, and oddly enough, this one controls mass.

Nay, Kali, for those be the ones weighed down by the sin of refusing to accept the firstborn of Gwyn as their patron.

Also @Chazm, quarks aren't mesons, they simply comprise both baryons and mesons.

I also happened to get this wrong- a top quark-anti pair is impossible- a top quark decays before it baryonizes.

Do you even Physics, bro?

...

Don't know if you're mad at me for getting things wrong or not, but eh, I'll take it with a pinch of salt.

In other words, I'm only 14 and haven't properly been educated this high level, it's just me looking up things on the 'net.