Those are some sucky thoughts, I would recommend talking to some one you trust, going to church, reading the Bible, or calling the suicide helpline (at least I think that's a thing). But whatever you choose, I'm praying for you dude.
I've been told I'm an , for talking to people about this, or having a pessimistic attitude when in the mood, so don't judge, but, I have no friends. All my friends hate me when I talk about this stuff, only one but I'm not able to talk to them right now, I don't have a bible, not Christian,
Hey there, I've had severe depression all my life. Killing yourself is a permanent decision, you can't take it back. Failing an attempt will leave you with life long medical problems like it has me. I want you to talk to a doctor before you do anything extreme. My brain doesn't naturally have the right dopamine, serotonin, and Oxytocin levels it should, which is what gives me suicidal thoughts.
Getting on an antidepressant was the best thing I ever did. Life will get better, yours has only just begun. Don't deny yourself the chance to have a better life. Talk to a doctor about medication options and consider seeing a therapist. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I wish I could do more for you. There's far too many of us, but luckily there are tools to help you survive.
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