Short Story A Day in the Life of... The GUIDE!


Skeletron Prime
Welcome to the life of the Guide, its Pretty stupid.
Status 1.1
Days - 2
I plopped down on a chair examining the house my friend made, the house was made of Dirt and Mud, there were sticks coming out in all directions like he picked up a tree and stuck it in his Base. I sighed, and hoped he could make Nicer homes. his armour was rotten wood and was using the Sword backwards, then the night came and I dashed into his Home, I then heard *Knock, Knock* on the door, I went over and knew it was a zombie. but for putting me in horrible Living conditions, I swung open the door and dashed into a random room and locked the door, I heard "Ahhhhhhhhhh" Then I looked down to see the message *Noobkid010* has Been impaled by DIRT* wow, he died of dirt rather then zombies, Then realized it was night time and a day was over, So I broke the four&YFH THytfhhf ereyWALLeE4e6t *Buzz* Yeah, broke the fourth wall and added on another day, In the morning he made me breakfast, Crossing my fingers it was cooked I saw... Mushrooms except they were GREEN, I Didn't eat any but Noobkiddo did, Later I Had to deal with Some Idiot rapidly Vomiting. Late I saw a little Arena he made, HE WANTED TO FIGHT A BOSS, this wont go well, since he dies due to tripping on sticks. The night came and the Vicious eye came, They battled and took hits, Noobkid0101 Taking the most "hits" He used his bow and fired stream of arrows... that missed and hit the explosive crate by his House, IDIOT, all his bad work is gone!. he Swung his sword clashing with the eye... for 2 seconds before it somehow broke even though there is Infinite durability on Weapons, then the eye charged and... a Star hit the eye and He Died. the Noob screamed "I DID IT" I Picked up a Snowball and threw it at His head, he stumbled and Fell, the Message *Noobkid010 has died by Snowball* Appeared
I walked outside to see the beautiful sun, and chirping birds. then I heard HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiii, Noobkiddo is back, Along with his new Pet, Tree. he says tree tells good stories, better than my tales of him thinking eating Dynamite was smart. he said "tree can move! but wont move", I wonder if he thinks trees will honestly run into him. he Slobbered and yelled, "we play tag 2, I always win", (I wonder what would happen if I bought him Bombs) he said "lets play frisbee!" ok, He pulled out a sword and threw it, I Ducked and it hit a Crate, i opened it to see a throbbing mound of purple flesh, I throw it at him, what is that? I Bellow. "SNacKies!" he Called, he chomped on it, the ground rumbled and I stumbled, grabbing to a tree for Balance, Noobkiddo got impaled by dirt once more, to my Horror, Purple flesh covered our house and the grass, the Message *eater of Skrubs has awoken* the giant Worm charged, I Dodged. Noobkiddo farted, I threw a enchanted boomerang at him, it dodged swiftly later to charge at us, Noobkiddo pulled out th- STAR WRATH? he swung! and missed then got eaten alive. that Idiot, the Worm charged at me. I Prepared to die. suddenly, tree fell on the eater of worlds and killed it, my face was blank. Noobkiddo respawned and said "GooD jOb Tree" I Suddenly Passed out... Day TREE Dedicated to Dwight Jasper D. Sulana
I'm wordless that I did not die due to Noobkiddo's Cooking, well... Its "food". Hopefully Cooked, I stammered Outside, he managed to get the merchant to Move in, But since he sells Dirt for a higher price Then gold... Well.. Its hard to take him Seriously. Then all of a Sudden, Noobkiddo Screeched, "Lookie Lookie, Big forest with Baaaaats", I wanted to punch him. I could tell he was gonna attempt to eat a Hive again, That went HORRID. I followed him into the dense mass Of overgrowth. we walked past tunnels of loot the Merchant Stole, whil Noobkiddo was getting Attacked by bee's, we stumbled upon a Small hive, we stepped in Swatting those bees, then Noobkiddo started dancing, and tripped and Fell towards a Larvae... he looked up and BIT THE LARVAE... [King Hornet has Awoken] we Dodged his Bees for him to later charge smashing us into the wall. We got up, Noobkiddo Charged towards the king with Armour and a gun... He looked so Awesome as he Dashed firing his Pistol ripping King hornet to bits, It was short lived as he tripped into a Honey and he can not Swim, Then a boulder came down crushing the Hornet, we Relaxed and walked out... I looked stun as nobbkiddo Bit into this pink Bulb, I Swallowed and Crossed my fingers we would live. [Plantera has awoken]...
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