Absorb The Non-Issue

[Huzbubber Tim]

You eat me

I eat you

 

[BrusselSprouts693]

I die of being eaten
I open a spoiler

 

[Ivyss]

It's a spoiler for your favorite show, so you decide to kill me in response.

I look at r/crappydesign.

 

[Parasy]

You send me a link and I die of a heart attack from the worst design of the bunch.

I go read a book.

 

[Ivyss]

You could at least do something about me bleeding out first.

I get PTSD from dying so much.

 

[Parasy]

I am so concerned I literally implode.

I google "thanos car loss despacito".

 

[Ivyss]

It's so meme I get a heart attack and die.

I open a shop.

 

[Parasy]

You sell bottled death and I buy it.

I play Absorb the Non Issue.

 

[Ivyss]

I do what I'm supposed to do, kill myself.

I turn off the lights.

 

[Parasy]

I was the one who brought light to your lair ; I must die. You zap me with lightning.

I make a CD-I joke.

 

[Ivyss]

I die from how much I don't get it.

I use sarcasm.

 

[Parasy]

I blow up because I don't get it.

I draw the letter 1.

 

[Ivyss]

I point out it's a number, you get mad, you kill me.

I get hit by a train.

 

[Parasy]

I go in front of the train trying to stop it as redemption for making a mistake on the level of calling 1 a letter. That's pretty big.

I call 1 a number this time.

 

[Ivyss]

I make a list of all numbers in alphabetical order, there's too many numbers, my brain stops functioning.

I play music.

 

[Parasy]

It's THAT kind of music, the totally awesome one everyone is looking for during years, and I ask for the song's name. You say you don't have it, and the disappointment kills me.

I make a copypasta.

 

[Ivyss]

It's a functioning "You'll die if you don't share." copypasta, I don't share.

I copy some pasta.

 

[Parasy]

I try to eat it but it's artificial and I die.

I drink some water.

 

[Ivyss]

You obtained it by melting me.

I hold a knife, somehow.

 

[Parasy]

I run right into it.

I desperately try to keep the next poster away from harm.