Absorb The Non-Issue

The potion then gets flung at me. No, it didn't get spilled on me. It broke my skull, jamming it inside and killing me.

I get killed by series of unfortunate events.
 
I quickly get up, grab the remains, and rub it over my body, forgetting the broken glass, resulting in me bleeding out, but accomplishing my goal of using it on me.

I win and lose at the same time.
 
The paradox you made blows me up, killing me just as I stepped out of the cloning machine. And killed me again when I tripped on dead me and fell off the building. And again, until there was a sizeable body pile of dead bodies of mine.

I clone myself way too much and end up making a large pile of dead bodies.
 
I wake up, once again remember that I accomplished my mission, get excited, and slam my head into a wall, killing me instantly.

I've received about 14 concussions by now.
 
I get dizzy by you explaining how much times you get concussed, and I hit a wall, breaking it, and falling down the street, finally being run over by the car and dying from bleeding out from breaking a wall and being run over.

I become a roadkill, basically.
 
I wake up once again, decide to play the rest of my new life safe, and die of old age instead.

I actually manage to live out my life.
 
But not without accidents, including hitting me with your car, crushing my head.

I get my head crushed by a car.
 
I try to catch both, but am not strong enough for either. so I just end up falling the same.

I fall and die.
 
This causes you to contract a disease, and then you spread it to me. I die a few days later.

I put a few books on a bookshelf.
 
I realize what you did, attempt to help, but I accidentally drop a copy of War and Peace on my head and get a concussion.

I failed to put a bunch of books on a shelf.
 
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