Absorb The Non-Issue

John, aka the Tattletale Strangler, strangles me because i am a tattler and rat

For some reason, I feel as though everything around me is fake, and I am merely some random consiousness implanted into a fictional body.
 
I was looking through the window, but as I can't see through curtains I fail to see the missile that's about to hit, and it hits.

I question every choice I have ever made.
 
One of those choices includes not killing people. You decide you'd like to change that, so you start with me.


I look up some stuff about SCPs.
 
I try to go through a portal, but you close it before I can get through so I get cut in two.

Math only works if 9=10.
 
Unfortunately, this also applies to science, and somehow this also leads to me gaining several more limbs to the point where I can no longer move, and I starve to death.

I decide to read some Lovecraft.
 
My friend gets so excited, he screams, and it bursts my eardrum that starts to bleed and gets an infection that I never get checked out and it ends up creating a lack of oxygen transportation to my brain and I die.

I eat some cheese
 
the cheese comes from a long eaten sandwich from an ancient time where all cheeses were actually people. I was the cheese.

I am cringe
 
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