Absorb The Non-Issue

[Akira Nishikiyama]

They are all dead, including me

I slap a person for being mean to Sakurai

 

[Streyll]

That person then tries to shoot you for slapping them, I jump in front of the gun and take the bullet, later bleeding out.


I try to fix a pair of headphones.

 

[Akira Nishikiyama]

I get electrocuted from licking the wires

I lick some wires

 

[Streyll]

I question why you did that, so you kill me for asking too many questions.


I feel... wrong.

 

[Vitrolic Medicine]

Because you fled for your life, leaving me to fend alone against French army.

I decide to plunge into Deathmatch mode of Age of Empires III.

 

[Streyll]

Against me, I build up too slowly and you kill me with overwhelming force.


I decide to change strategy.

 

[Akira Nishikiyama]

That strategy causes me to get killed in battle, a necessary sacrifice

I go into the sewers because I am too poor for Ashen Wolves DLC

 

[Streyll]

I don't know what that is, so you kill me for not knowing.


I change the brakes on a car.

 

[Ivyss]

You do it incorrectly, the car runs me over.

I return to this thread, and immediately get run over by a car.

 

[Streyll]

I celebrate the return of the dragon, then get hit by the same car.


There is a car that is rolling and running over anything in it's path.

 

[Vitrolic Medicine]

And it gets me too, and runs me over.

I create two factories.

 

[Ivyss]

I fall into the machinery.

I fall into machinery in a factory.

 

[Streyll]

It causes the machinery to jam, then it overheats and starts a fire, I burn to death.


I build one new factory and configure it to produce wood.

 

[Ivyss]

I get into an argument, the other person gets so mad he throws me into the saw.

I get sawed in two because of an argument.

 

[Akira Nishikiyama]

Oof ow I just got in the way of the saw

I drink some bone hurting juice

 

[Vitrolic Medicine]

Turns out it was bone hurting enabler juice, as you 'hurt' every single of my bones, cracking them, and my spine, and killing me.

I decide that I need to steal some magical elixir from Asterix and Obelix

 

[Akira Nishikiyama]

As I am a Roman guard, I am killed by them while you are getting the elixir

I am a Roman guard.

 

[Ivyss]

You are convinced you saw me commit a crime, you cut off my head for it.

My head is cut off.

 

[Streyll]

I pick it up, but cut myself on one of your fangs as I do it, and then later die of an infection because I didn't clean the wound.


I turn on an air compressor.

 

[Vitrolic Medicine]

Doing so sucks all the breathable air inside. I was inside it, and the pressure is so high that I explode and die, because for some reason air compressor had me inside.

I decide to hire some mercenaries.