[RPNULL.]
Pol looks at the cages. They sigh. "Wow. Those cages are officially going to take forever to take down."
Pol quickly reads the contents of the K.A.T.E. before proceeding.
[RPNULL END]
[Charge things]
[19/35]: Morpho #2 is looking for a host.
+1 to @O.R.I.G.I.N.: This +1 is purple now, for the record.
[Action]
Pol first readies the bass they have following them. Pol floats it down next to them, and instead of putting their wings around it and playing the bass like a normal person, they vibrate the strings with the awesome, totally creative power of telekinesis (that may or may not have been used already. Extensively). They start playing a song with the bass. All the cicadas nearby stop singing, if any of them are. The bass song sounds like an original, with a slow tempo, in the key of of E major. However, this is only the intro. Nice and peaceful. And then the cicadas start joining in, chirping.
<And here we go!>
"WELCOME, EVERYONE!" A mist begins to flow in, from all of the water starting to condense. It gets a lot colder, all of a sudden. "To a change of pace." Dandelions begin congregating around Pol, as the music somehow begins to pick up. They seem to have minds of their own, moving through the ground. A gust of wind picks up all of the dandelions' pappi, forming a little gust of the stuff. And, with an all too familiar purple eye glow (which doesn't cease this time...), the first verse starts.
"Funny how life can go." The pappi gust begins spinning around and around. The little seeds attached to each pappus begin to glow red, before getting covered in little liquid cream soda clumps. Meanwhile, on a more microscopic level, Pol begins decreasing the cream soda clumps' pH. Something about duplicating the H+ cations present in the clumps. "Found ourselves in a mine." The cicadas sing louder, gathering in the masses and starting to fly. Pol brings in more instruments to keep the song going strong. Among them are a piano, a few 'more normal' guitars, and a violin. They are all played by Pol using telekinesis, to join in the WONDERFUL song. "Aspera nowhere in site." The pappi gust is launched at the Corvid Blade. Each seed implants on the hapless bird, digging into them and leeching their blood after the acidic soda cream clumps on them get washed into the bird's circulatory system. Fun fact, everyone! Hydrogen ions are not good for the blood! I may not be a scientist, but I'm pretty sure the corrosive nature of a now-really-bad-acid (with a pH of 1) would have a really bad effect on cellular respiration. Not to mention how it must really burn your insides. "But if we proceed..." The cicadas fly en masse at the Corvid Blade, suddenly really wanting to land on the bird. "Then the entities we'll need." And at the same time, the bass guitar floats next to the Corvid blade. And just whacks them, before the cicadas hit and... just start doing their really loud song while being on the Corvid blade. Though, I hear bird ears are rather sensitive, and cicadas' songs can get really loud even when they aren't all over you. "But I'd like to get rid of any distractions first."
<<Okay, everyone. Get what you need to do sorted out. I'll take the Corvid Blade for now, but I might need some help making sure they don't survive."
"??????" The Swarm of Zachs tumble through the cave, ready to kill.
[RPNULL] "What are th-cag-suha-drag-DRRRAAG-onapppp" All Zachs stop and look at the K.A.T.E. "HWihicbabcagbubhnhhGUYBhinhuhwicjhcybhsncsgbcnsnxbusbcgjhcwybghcdbdcsyyhcdbsycudcbwcdsbcywuucduysdkfsdhcbwubdyugkjsgdcliwybludhbhkgsgbdgfw"
[RPNULL END]
[Action] Hands with huge metal claws stick out of the Zach pile!
All Zachs are under hive mind connection! A yellow aura is lit around all Zachs' heads.
The unicorn tries to pry himself up on a wall, and while leaning on it, shrugs, before going back down to the ground. "Maaybe Kongregate Awesomeness Tether of Extremes?"
"How about Kill All Things Ever? Or just... Kate."
Pol then starts handing out muffler headphones pulled out from more portals to everyone in the room. Because Pol would much rather force everyone to use the thought based communication network Pol definitely set up at some point than risk people going insane listening to vogon poetry. To set a good example, Pol puts on their own too. <Better safe than sorry. And stuff.>
<<Hi. Person. How's your day been? Besides all the fighting.>>
“I’m pretty sure I do know what it means. Or, more, what it’s referencing.”
“…”
“I wasn’t going to pitch in, by the way, but since no one had a confirmable answer I figured I may as well.”
That... that's not purple. This, this is purple. That +1, it's... white? Gray? I dunno. I hate this place's colors. The whole brown on brown on bleh. Murder on my attention span, let me tell you.
This +1, it's purple. You want it in italics. +1. BANG. Italicized. It's magic. Woah.
All joking aside, Hedroc doesn't like the taste of purple. It has this ominous dinning, you know? It's always this dark-dimensional malevolence or, even worse, WAAAAAAAAAAAH-MAN himself. *Shudders* -Er, I mean, always a good time, right!? Right...? Party... time...
Sorry. Hedroc's bad at tennis for... obvious reasons. DON'T ASK WHAT REASONS! They're OBVIOUS. He has ZERO hands. What do you want him to do? Bite the racket? There's this expression: bite the bullet. Hedroc tries to avoid anything even remotely similar. And DON'T ASK WHY! SHEESH! Hedroc don't wanna DIE! That's that!
...Whoops. Went off on a bit of a tangent there. Need to go eat something. Refill the gas tank. Hedroc sees that tasty +1 from Pol. That'll do.
He bites the +1 and- OH, IT'S PURPLE! GOSH- WHY'D YOU DISGUISE IT LIKE THAT! Ugh. It tastes like- *licking noises* -the armpits of the multiverse. Ack. Why would you do that to a sentient, floating, head-shaped rock?
Hedroc needs something to rinse it down with. He drinks his own +1 for the turn, and...
Actually, that balanced quite nicely. Huh. Maybe Hedroc was wrong about purple things. Like, blueberries: their guts aren't really blue. More purple, to be honest. But they taste fine.
Huh. Hedroc thanks Pol. Consider his horizons widened.
Ignoreous Rock: [17/25]
Hedroc gives Pol some blueberries. Consider it a peace offering.
ANYWAYS, back to the important stuff. Namely that NO ONE knows the side effects of 17% cream soda humidity air.
Firstly, the humidity is currently 87%. That's HUMID. Especially on a Sunny Da- I mean Night, a Sunny Night like this one. The sun beating down on your face. The cream soda choking your lungs. Oppressive, let me tell you. We just crank the thermostat up to 90, maybe 95 degrees Fahrenheit (apologies for being American), we're talking Heat Stroke weather, here.
So, first thing's first, Hedroc turns up the thermostat in the cave. What's that? The cave doesn't have a thermostat? PLEASE. Hedroc just installed one! He taps it up to ninety-five- just to be safe- and laughs maniacally as the temperature slowly rises. AND DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THAT CLOSED SYSTEM NONSENSE. Hedroc already puked insulation into the entrance. System CLOSED.
Anyways, while we wait for the temp to rise, now is an excellent time to explain the other OBVIOUS side effect of cream soda.
It's a pop, everybody. Soda POP. The air is, quite literally, poppin'. Everyone can see the foaming soda bubbles in the air as the temperature slowly rises. It's like a hot tub, almost. A highly carbonated hot tub, granted, but still: it's hot.
Hedroc crunches a cob of corn between his teeth. He grins as the temperature comes to ninety-five. He bites down hard on the cob, and the kernels begin to pop. Popcorn flies from his mouth, leaping over to the workers in the background. Hardly a full lunch, but...
That's not where we're going with this, though. That was just the trial run. Hedroc upchucks another cob of corn, spitting it straight at... who was Flask shooting...? Tataroni. First paragraph, duh.
The cob is lobbed through the air, and knocks the Yo-Kai in the noggin. Then, the heat hits it, and the kernels explode. They burst out, uncurling popcorn in the sunny cave. But, inside each kernel isn't corn. Pop guns pop out of the popcorn and begin firing wildly in the air. Little corks on strings burst out, pummeling the Yo-Kai somewhat inefficiently.
But that's not all that's in those barrels. Whole packs of Mentos drop from the falling pop guns. The wrappers quickly unroll. They mix with the cream soda in the sky. POP.
Tataroni is caught in a torrent of bursting soda, pelting it from every direction. The Yo-Kai begins choking under the pressure. The heat and humidity are really getting to it. It collapses as Heat Stroke settles in.
In the end, the Yo-Kai is left to be Cicada food. Not that Hedroc knows what a cicada is. It's just the only fauna in the area, and... you know what, forget it. It sounded cooler in Hedroc's head.
Then Hedroc turns off the thermostat. Even he doesn't like that much heat.
Niyr looks at the absolute madness that the combined actions of the AG team has caused, and comes to the conclusion that there is only one way to bring back order to the battlefield. By putting the people back to work. So, he'd proceed to fly up to a high point in the cave, and open several small portals throughout the cave so everyone can hear him. "Attention all personnel. May I have your attention please. I understand that the alarm system has been triggered, and that several of you say that it is night, and have pointed to the seven moons in the sky to reinforce your claims. However, I must unfortunately bring up that as the sun is still up, it must be day, or at least close enough, and therefore your shift is not over. Further to this, I now declare this mine as an exclave of Panama. Now, there is a body of water nearby, but it isn't here yet, and therefore we must build what shall offically be known as an exyension of the Panama Canal."
Niyr would then fly down, and begin collecting the pickaxes to be used by the workers, limiting the number that can be used by the AG team in the process. He would then distribute these pickaxes to the workers, which would be ordered to dig through the cave and create a canal to the body of water. Now, you'd expect this to take a long time, however because of the logic of the turns in this RP, and the unspecified number of workers, it would be finished quite quickly, at the cost of laying the foundations for a temporal disruption.
Once the canal has been completed, and- Wait, what do you mean there's a large pile of burning bodies? Niyr would absolutely definitely not work these miners to death in the process of making the canal. That's just a burning pile of, uh...
...It's a burning pile of old store mannequins. They looked too much like extremely realistic miners who died from being overworked, so the store wanted to get rid of them. Totally.
Anyway, as I was saying, once the canal has been completed, and a rather large and definitely not stolen from the miner's wages monetary donation is made to the Battleship New Jersey Museum and Memorial, Ryan Symanski, curator for the Battleship New Jersey Museum and Memorial would arrive in the canal, onboard the aforementioned battleship USS New Jersey, which is not to be confused with any other vessels named after the state of New Jersey. The New Jersey would then proceed to be towed down the canal by a few smaller tugs, because the canal is just barely large enough for the battleship to fit, and it's a museum, so how do you expect a small group of volunteers and an even smalelr group of staff to operate an entire battleship.
Anyway, it would aim its forward main turrets at the group, and, hoping to please K.A.T.E, it would be loaded with K.A.T.E's long lost sister, Katie. Katie likes to be called Project Katie, and she's a W23 nuclear shell. This shell would be fired towards the group, but due to the high concentrations of cream soda and fine wine in the air, the aiming system makes several small errors at various points that may or may not be related to some crew members being intoxicated (further research is required to determine whether they became intoxicated from the fine wine, or just used that as an excuse and then just raided the ship's armoury that was converted into a secure storeroom for liquor). This causes Katie to fly over the group, and go off somewhere deep in the mines. However, luckily that part of the mine was abandoned by the miners due to an unusually high number of cicadas, all of which are now at varying levels of dead. But, a few near the edges of the blast were fried to absolute perfection, and the added radiation makes them just different enough from your regular fried cicadas to be considered a local delicacy.
I shall also take this moment to point out how the canal is still dug through the mountain, and therefore is also enclosed like a tunnel, and now with the battleship there it perfectly blocks the view of the sun, making it appear to just be a normal night, and also giving the miners an excuse to finally clock out and finish their shift. As they were working hard earlier, but totally not overworked under unsafe and illegal conditions, they'd all be quite hungry, and so one of them would collect the fried cicadas, garnish them with the local supply of dandelions, and start a small cafe for the miners with them. But, as there isn't enough to go around, a few starving miners would begin getting in small fights over the dishes, and a group of particulary angry ones would run over to Pol's dance party and absolutely ruin it by eating all of the attending cicadas. I've heard concerts don't really end that well when the guests get eaten, or, well, I've actually never heard of such a case, but it seems logical to assume so.
The situation would continue to get worse, as more miners approach, these ones armed with even more of the pickaxes, and begin fighting with the original group of miners over the cicadas, creating a rather large and unpleasant racket with at least some parts sounding like nails on a chalkboard recorded on a VHS tape on SLP and then uploaded to Youtube in 2005, before being output through TV speakers and recorded by a phone microphone, and then played through the PA system of a supermarket. Not only would this drown out Pol's music, a few stray pickaxes and fried cicadas would be thrown towards Pol and his instruments, creating further disruptions to his impromptu music concert. Because of this, Corvid Blade would decide now would be a good time to leave, and takes off towards the cages, with Niyr himself flying over to the cages with Corvid Blade. Together, they'd push Falks' cage over to where Corvid Blade was standing earlier, with the raven stabbing Falks with its Toxic Strike, and then flying off again. Niyr would then fly over and get the attention of the miners, right as Pol says the line "Aspera nowhere in sight," hoping that he'll just send the toxic pappi gust towards where Corvid Blade was without first checking to see if the raven is still there, causing the toxic seeds to implant into Falks instead.
Niyr would then fly over and get the attention of the miners, right as Pol says the line "Aspera nowhere in sight," hoping that he'll just send the toxic pappi gust towards where Corvid Blade was without first checking to see if the raven is still there, causing the toxic seeds to implant into Falks instead.
(Actually, Pol is technically genderless but usually goes by female pronouns for convenience. Something about playing up their own cute and childish nature to make their enemies underestimate them more.)
"I'm... not going to question how does the whole city fit in a cage..."
The unicorn remarks, getting ready for some real action.
X'ian Eclipse: [15/30]
+1 Pol
---
Hold yer' horses, if anyone thinks Flask is going to leave it as it it, they are wrong. But then, there were dangers - for one most important things - the extraordinary amount of pickaxes. The unicorn inspects them and throws one like it was useless at Tartaroni, soon after tearing it off the figure to make the drunk 'fog' seep in-
Hold on, the quantity is 0.1%... but the cream soda content should be 17%. And given the sweet drinks do give poisoning (it's called sugar high, which makes them jumpy enough to move around more) when entering the bloodstream, the unicorn keeps digging the heads of pickaxes on the Yo-kai he is targetting.
"Not good enough." The unicorn dismisses that, and arranges the Cicada Orchestra since it is starry night (how is it Sunny when it's also Night, no one knows. Daybreaker, maybe?), then cutting and drying the dandelions until there's enough stalks for his plan, and after that putting the dry flowers under the Yo'kai and around it... finishing it by cruelly setting them on fire like a pyro. Since the Yo-kai is moving more, so does the fire spread more on them, until the only remains are ashes.
The cream soda in the air does not have the intended effect! And, in this air, the fire isn't as effective as you hope! You manage to deal 13,000 damage to Tantroni, though, in spite of this!
Oh there's my M*necraft garbage uhh, is been a fun 30 second romp folks, I'm gonna be hanging out with my stuff now. Gonna sit here and do nothing now. Maybe take a sip of that 17% cream soda humidity and maybe become accidentally intoxicated by that 0.1% fine wine.
I lied I am not gonna be doing nothing. I instead get to improving my fancy little Spawner (which so coincidentally looks like a cage in and of itself there is no point to this comparison I just thought it was funny considering this cage-filled battlefield we find ourselves in) with some uhh...
You've heard of plants that turn things into zombies, right? Get ready for this plant that has a REALLY specific growing condition that just gives the stuff it's grown on a tad bit of a fun boost. Right so, of course I plant this plant's seed into the Spawner, obviously. Now, as a plant it does require some sunlight, thank goodness for that Sunny weather we're having today. But at the same time, it's also pretty nocturnal, really gets into these late night raves, y'know? Now this is where things get wacky because it apparently wants 7 moons in the sky. Gotta get all that fancy lunar energy and all that. Normally, this is where you would hire the local moon managers to get those 7 up there just for this one sunny night for your little planty boi. Thankfully, we just so happen to have just those 7 right this very moment. Then the tide- eh, kinda irrelevant to this plant's growth. Don't matter if the world's flooded or dry, it'll grow no matter.
And now, we get to its diet. It's got photosynthesis, yeah, but it's still got quite an appetite for other things too. Kind of an omnivore, this thing is. Like really, feed it anything and it'll eat it. But of course, it's got a thing or two that it prefers to eat: dandelion petals and the dulcet chirpings that crickets make. And yes, it can eat sound waves. So of course, we pluck some petals off of those dandelions, and kidnap some crickets and have them chirp against their will. Water? Nah, just get 'em from the humidity of the place. Now, people might think having some cream soda and some fine wine in your humidity's going to be unhealthy for your plants. Nah, this one enjoys them.
And with like, a minute of all this stuff around, our plant jumps from childhood into adulthood. Now it is self-sufficient and we no longer need to bother with this supernatural setup. It'll now get to work on improving the M*necraft Spawner that it is so planted on.
...pickaxes? Why would those be involved in a plant's growth?
[9/50]
A +1 that just so happened to be seeped with the current humidity here to Flask. Don't get intoxicated from it now.
[RPNULL.]
Pol looks at the cages. They sigh. "Wow. Those cages are officially going to take forever to take down."
Pol quickly reads the contents of the K.A.T.E. before proceeding.
[RPNULL END]
[Charge things]
[19/35]: Morpho #2 is looking for a host.
+1 to @O.R.I.G.I.N.: This +1 is purple now, for the record.
[Action]
Pol first readies the bass they have following them. Pol floats it down next to them, and instead of putting their wings around it and playing the bass like a normal person, they vibrate the strings with the awesome, totally creative power of telekinesis (that may or may not have been used already. Extensively). They start playing a song with the bass. All the cicadas nearby stop singing, if any of them are. The bass song sounds like an original, with a slow tempo, in the key of of E major. However, this is only the intro. Nice and peaceful. And then the cicadas start joining in, chirping.
<And here we go!>
"WELCOME, EVERYONE!" A mist begins to flow in, from all of the water starting to condense. It gets a lot colder, all of a sudden. "To a change of pace." Dandelions begin congregating around Pol, as the music somehow begins to pick up. They seem to have minds of their own, moving through the ground. A gust of wind picks up all of the dandelions' pappi, forming a little gust of the stuff. And, with an all too familiar purple eye glow (which doesn't cease this time...), the first verse starts.
"Funny how life can go." The pappi gust begins spinning around and around. The little seeds attached to each pappus begin to glow red, before getting covered in little liquid cream soda clumps. Meanwhile, on a more microscopic level, Pol begins decreasing the cream soda clumps' pH. Something about duplicating the H+ cations present in the clumps. "Found ourselves in a mine." The cicadas sing louder, gathering in the masses and starting to fly. Pol brings in more instruments to keep the song going strong. Among them are a piano, a few 'more normal' guitars, and a violin. They are all played by Pol using telekinesis, to join in the WONDERFUL song. "Aspera nowhere in site." The pappi gust is launched at the Corvid Blade. Each seed implants on the hapless bird, digging into them and leeching their blood after the acidic soda cream clumps on them get washed into the bird's circulatory system. Fun fact, everyone! Hydrogen ions are not good for the blood! I may not be a scientist, but I'm pretty sure the corrosive nature of a now-really-bad-acid (with a pH of 1) would have a really bad effect on cellular respiration. Not to mention how it must really burn your insides. "But if we proceed..." The cicadas fly en masse at the Corvid Blade, suddenly really wanting to land on the bird. "Then the entities we'll need." And at the same time, the bass guitar floats next to the Corvid blade. And just whacks them, before the cicadas hit and... just start doing their really loud song while being on the Corvid blade. Though, I hear bird ears are rather sensitive, and cicadas' songs can get really loud even when they aren't all over you. "But I'd like to get rid of any distractions first."
<<Okay, everyone. Get what you need to do sorted out. I'll take the Corvid Blade for now, but I might need some help making sure they don't survive."
"??????" The Swarm of Zachs tumble through the cave, ready to kill.
[RPNULL] "What are th-cag-suha-drag-DRRRAAG-onapppp" All Zachs stop and look at the K.A.T.E. "HWihicbabcagbubhnhhGUYBhinhuhwicjhcybhsncsgbcnsnxbusbcgjhcwybghcdbdcsyyhcdbsycudcbwcdsbcywuucduysdkfsdhcbwubdyugkjsgdcliwybludhbhkgsgbdgfw"
[RPNULL END]
[Action] Hands with huge metal claws stick out of the Zach pile!
All Zachs are under hive mind connection! A yellow aura is lit around all Zachs' heads.
That... that's not purple. This, this is purple. That +1, it's... white? Gray? I dunno. I hate this place's colors. The whole brown on brown on bleh. Murder on my attention span, let me tell you.
This +1, it's purple. You want it in italics. +1. BANG. Italicized. It's magic. Woah.
All joking aside, Hedroc doesn't like the taste of purple. It has this ominous dinning, you know? It's always this dark-dimensional malevolence or, even worse, WAAAAAAAAAAAH-MAN himself. *Shudders* -Er, I mean, always a good time, right!? Right...? Party... time...
Sorry. Hedroc's bad at tennis for... obvious reasons. DON'T ASK WHAT REASONS! They're OBVIOUS. He has ZERO hands. What do you want him to do? Bite the racket? There's this expression: bite the bullet. Hedroc tries to avoid anything even remotely similar. And DON'T ASK WHY! SHEESH! Hedroc don't wanna DIE! That's that!
...Whoops. Went off on a bit of a tangent there. Need to go eat something. Refill the gas tank. Hedroc sees that tasty +1 from Pol. That'll do.
He bites the +1 and- OH, IT'S PURPLE! GOSH- WHY'D YOU DISGUISE IT LIKE THAT! Ugh. It tastes like- *licking noises* -the armpits of the multiverse. Ack. Why would you do that to a sentient, floating, head-shaped rock?
Hedroc needs something to rinse it down with. He drinks his own +1 for the turn, and...
Actually, that balanced quite nicely. Huh. Maybe Hedroc was wrong about purple things. Like, blueberries: their guts aren't really blue. More purple, to be honest. But they taste fine.
Huh. Hedroc thanks Pol. Consider his horizons widened.
Ignoreous Rock: [17/25]
Hedroc gives Pol some blueberries. Consider it a peace offering.
ANYWAYS, back to the important stuff. Namely that NO ONE knows the side effects of 17% cream soda humidity air.
Firstly, the humidity is currently 87%. That's HUMID. Especially on a Sunny Da- I mean Night, a Sunny Night like this one. The sun beating down on your face. The cream soda choking your lungs. Oppressive, let me tell you. We just crank the thermostat up to 90, maybe 95 degrees Fahrenheit (apologies for being American), we're talking Heat Stroke weather, here.
So, first thing's first, Hedroc turns up the thermostat in the cave. What's that? The cave doesn't have a thermostat? PLEASE. Hedroc just installed one! He taps it up to ninety-five- just to be safe- and laughs maniacally as the temperature slowly rises. AND DON'T TELL ME ABOUT THAT CLOSED SYSTEM NONSENSE. Hedroc already puked insulation into the entrance. System CLOSED.
Anyways, while we wait for the temp to rise, now is an excellent time to explain the other OBVIOUS side effect of cream soda.
It's a pop, everybody. Soda POP. The air is, quite literally, poppin'. Everyone can see the foaming soda bubbles in the air as the temperature slowly rises. It's like a hot tub, almost. A highly carbonated hot tub, granted, but still: it's hot.
Hedroc crunches a cob of corn between his teeth. He grins as the temperature comes to ninety-five. He bites down hard on the cob, and the kernels begin to pop. Popcorn flies from his mouth, leaping over to the workers in the background. Hardly a full lunch, but...
That's not where we're going with this, though. That was just the trial run. Hedroc upchucks another cob of corn, spitting it straight at... who was Flask shooting...? Tataroni. First paragraph, duh.
The cob is lobbed through the air, and knocks the Yo-Kai in the noggin. Then, the heat hits it, and the kernels explode. They burst out, uncurling popcorn in the sunny cave. But, inside each kernel isn't corn. Pop guns pop out of the popcorn and begin firing wildly in the air. Little corks on strings burst out, pummeling the Yo-Kai somewhat inefficiently.
But that's not all that's in those barrels. Whole packs of Mentos drop from the falling pop guns. The wrappers quickly unroll. They mix with the cream soda in the sky. POP.
Tataroni is caught in a torrent of bursting soda, pelting it from every direction. The Yo-Kai begins choking under the pressure. The heat and humidity are really getting to it. It collapses as Heat Stroke settles in.
In the end, the Yo-Kai is left to be Cicada food. Not that Hedroc knows what a cicada is. It's just the only fauna in the area, and... you know what, forget it. It sounded cooler in Hedroc's head.
Then Hedroc turns off the thermostat. Even he doesn't like that much heat.
Niyr looks at the absolute madness that the combined actions of the AG team has caused, and comes to the conclusion that there is only one way to bring back order to the battlefield. By putting the people back to work. So, he'd proceed to fly up to a high point in the cave, and open several small portals throughout the cave so everyone can hear him. "Attention all personnel. May I have your attention please. I understand that the alarm system has been triggered, and that several of you say that it is night, and have pointed to the seven moons in the sky to reinforce your claims. However, I must unfortunately bring up that as the sun is still up, it must be day, or at least close enough, and therefore your shift is not over. Further to this, I now declare this mine as an exclave of Panama. Now, there is a body of water nearby, but it isn't here yet, and therefore we must build what shall offically be known as an exyension of the Panama Canal."
Niyr would then fly down, and begin collecting the pickaxes to be used by the workers, limiting the number that can be used by the AG team in the process. He would then distribute these pickaxes to the workers, which would be ordered to dig through the cave and create a canal to the body of water. Now, you'd expect this to take a long time, however because of the logic of the turns in this RP, and the unspecified number of workers, it would be finished quite quickly, at the cost of laying the foundations for a temporal disruption.
Once the canal has been completed, and- Wait, what do you mean there's a large pile of burning bodies? Niyr would absolutely definitely not work these miners to death in the process of making the canal. That's just a burning pile of, uh...
...It's a burning pile of old store mannequins. They looked too much like extremely realistic miners who died from being overworked, so the store wanted to get rid of them. Totally.
Anyway, as I was saying, once the canal has been completed, and a rather large and definitely not stolen from the miner's wages monetary donation is made to the Battleship New Jersey Museum and Memorial, Ryan Symanski, curator for the Battleship New Jersey Museum and Memorial would arrive in the canal, onboard the aforementioned battleship USS New Jersey, which is not to be confused with any other vessels named after the state of New Jersey. The New Jersey would then proceed to be towed down the canal by a few smaller tugs, because the canal is just barely large enough for the battleship to fit, and it's a museum, so how do you expect a small group of volunteers and an even smalelr group of staff to operate an entire battleship.
Anyway, it would aim its forward main turrets at the group, and, hoping to please K.A.T.E, it would be loaded with K.A.T.E's long lost sister, Katie. Katie likes to be called Project Katie, and she's a W23 nuclear shell. This shell would be fired towards the group, but due to the high concentrations of cream soda and fine wine in the air, the aiming system makes several small errors at various points that may or may not be related to some crew members being intoxicated (further research is required to determine whether they became intoxicated from the fine wine, or just used that as an excuse and then just raided the ship's armoury that was converted into a secure storeroom for liquor). This causes Katie to fly over the group, and go off somewhere deep in the mines. However, luckily that part of the mine was abandoned by the miners due to an unusually high number of cicadas, all of which are now at varying levels of dead. But, a few near the edges of the blast were fried to absolute perfection, and the added radiation makes them just different enough from your regular fried cicadas to be considered a local delicacy.
I shall also take this moment to point out how the canal is still dug through the mountain, and therefore is also enclosed like a tunnel, and now with the battleship there it perfectly blocks the view of the sun, making it appear to just be a normal night, and also giving the miners an excuse to finally clock out and finish their shift. As they were working hard earlier, but totally not overworked under unsafe and illegal conditions, they'd all be quite hungry, and so one of them would collect the fried cicadas, garnish them with the local supply of dandelions, and start a small cafe for the miners with them. But, as there isn't enough to go around, a few starving miners would begin getting in small fights over the dishes, and a group of particulary angry ones would run over to Pol's dance party and absolutely ruin it by eating all of the attending cicadas. I've heard concerts don't really end that well when the guests get eaten, or, well, I've actually never heard of such a case, but it seems logical to assume so.
The situation would continue to get worse, as more miners approach, these ones armed with even more of the pickaxes, and begin fighting with the original group of miners over the cicadas, creating a rather large and unpleasant racket with at least some parts sounding like nails on a chalkboard recorded on a VHS tape on SLP and then uploaded to Youtube in 2005, before being output through TV speakers and recorded by a phone microphone, and then played through the PA system of a supermarket. Not only would this drown out Pol's music, a few stray pickaxes and fried cicadas would be thrown towards Pol and his instruments, creating further disruptions to his impromptu music concert. Because of this, Corvid Blade would decide now would be a good time to leave, and takes off towards the cages, with Niyr himself flying over to the cages with Corvid Blade. Together, they'd push Falks' cage over to where Corvid Blade was standing earlier, with the raven stabbing Falks with its Toxic Strike, and then flying off again. Niyr would then fly over and get the attention of the miners, right as Pol says the line "Aspera nowhere in sight," hoping that he'll just send the toxic pappi gust towards where Corvid Blade was without first checking to see if the raven is still there, causing the toxic seeds to implant into Falks instead.
Your canal isn't able to get outside the mountain! Despite that, the ship rolls in and chaos ensues! You reduce the effectiveness of Pol's action and deal 11,000 damage to Falks!
Commandeering my workers, are you?
Eep! When did Aspera get here? He laughs at your startled face.
Well, go right ahead. I've got plenty of them.
Aspera is now on the battlefield, and can be damaged!
~~~
None of the [AG] entities act due to being imprisoned! Falks regenerates! Void Dragon regenerates!
The M*necraft Spawner spawns a Sk*leton! The S*lverfish attack Relvaat, dealing 2,000 damage!
Corvid Blade attacks Falks, dealing 7,500 damage, then uses Toxic Strike, dealing another 15,000 damage and applying 15,000 Toxic! Relvaat attacks Bandanna Dee, who takes no damage! Suspicioni attacks the City of Babylon, dealing 5,000 damage! Contrarioni swaps Suspicioni's HP and Attack!
Aspera commands the various workers to continue mining!
All cooldowns advance! The Great K.A.T.E. displays updated weather information!
~~~
Battlefield:
Armor Guard [H]: HP: 10,000/10,000, Attack: 1,000, spawns Helmet Head on death
Coffin Creature [H]: HP: 20,000/30,000, Attack: 2,000, spawns 5 Lesser Vampire on death
~~~
Itinerary: AG: Destroy Aspera! N: Seek out your personal objectives. PG: Protect Aspera!
The Great K.A.T.E. is active and running!
Current version: 17.1.2
Global weather:
Current weather: Partly Cloudy
Current time of day: Twilight (derogatory)
Number of moons in the sky: 1
Phase of largest moon: Waxing Inverse-Gibbous
Current tide: The laundry detergent kind
Local weather:
Local flora report: None
Local fauna report: One very large seagull
Closest body of water: 77 miles away
Humidity:
Water: 63%
Nacho cheese: 1%
Additional notes: Seagull appears to consume neckties for energy.
Battlefield:
Aspera [GM]: 40/50 HP, Godmodder
Entities:
Falks Cage [PG]: HP: 60,000/60,000, preventing Falks from acting
Falks the Stickman [Just Flask - AG]: HP: 30,250/70,000, Regeneration: 5,000 Attack: 12,500, Cool Stickman Arts: II, Toxic: 15,000
Babylon Cage [PG]: HP: 20,000/20,000, preventing Babylon from acting
City of Babylon [Just Flask - AG]: HP: 42,500/60,000, Armor: 5,000, City Walls: Can protect a single entity, giving that entity 5,000 Armor for one turn
Dee Cage [PG]: HP: 40,000/40,000, preventing Bandanna Dee from acting
Bandanna Dee [Ian - AG]: HP: 17,500/25,000, Armor: 2,500, Attack: 5,000
Dragon Cage [PG]: HP: 80,000/80,000, preventing the Void Dragon from acting
Void Dragon [Reese - AG]: HP: 69,250/75,000, Attack: 12,500, Regeneration: 10,000, Antimatter Cannon: 61,000
Spoils of War: Misery: Polar Star. Owner: Ian. A strange gun, with two scratches embedded into it. It looks like it gets stronger if used carefully. Once every 3 turns, it can be used to deal 1,000, 2,500, or 5,000 damage, depending on its current level. The level goes up when PG entities die or the Godmodder takes damage, and it goes down when AG entities die. The level is locked at 2 while it is in custody of a [N] player. Level: 2, Cooldown: III The Teletubbies: Tubby Custard Machine. Owner: Pol. A whimsical machine with two large spires for storing Tubby Custard. Once every 4 turns, it can be used to heal 5,000 HP to any entity. This healing can bring entities over their max HP, if they're not already above their max HP. Additionally, the Tubby Custard Key may be used one time to revive any entity that died the preceding turn, with full HP. THE TUBBY CUSTARD KEY MAY ONLY BE USED ONCE THROUGH THE ENTIRE GAME. Cooldown: IIII. Tubby Custard Key: Available Fortegreen Crewmate: Emergency Meeting Button. Owner: Just Flask. A red button that can be used to assemble everyone in the area. Once every 5 turns, it can be used to summon a Crewmate, who the owner will be able to direct to various tasks. Its effectiveness will vary. Cooldown: IIIII
Permanent Upgrades:
Chapter 1: The Great K.A.T.E. A strange red bucket that contains a weather machine. What does K.A.T.E. stand for? Your guess is as good as mine! The Great K.A.T.E. provides many forms of weather information. The more kinds of weather information an action uses, the more damage it will deal if it succeeds, up to 3x the usual amount! However, if the attack doesn't use a piece of weather properly, all weather bonuses will be lost!
I look at how killable-in-one-shot Suspicioni has become. This activates my almonds.
I look at the Seagull and its appetite consisting of neckties. I henceforth gain the bright idea to overfeed it a worrying amount of colorful neckties (ask where I got these neckties from I dare you) and watch as the Seagull convulses with overenergy. I then conspicuously look over to Suspicioni, letting them know that this seagull's coming after his arse. What doesn't help him not earn the attention of this menacing avian thing is the piece of bread that just so happens to be gored upon that little horn of his and no it is too late for him to remove it for I now have it stapled upon his head. Thus, he can only watch as this Seagull continues to charge up its energy, neglecting to consider that maybe this whole seagull business was just a distraction and that I might just have a knife and am about to stab him at the back. But now that I've made this information public, he now has the leeway to turn around and see if that information was true. He finds out that, no, it was not true. I actually have a gun, and I'm actually in the process of suplexing him.
bluebigheadednerdbeingsuplexed.sfx
[10/50]
A +1 that would probably taste better when dunked in water to Hedroc (@O.R.I.G.I.N.). Too bad that body of water's 77 miles away, eh?
Ronin Alpha finally wakes up from their power nap.
"Oof." they comment.
Action:
Ronin Alpha Slides onto the battle field and promptly clashes with the Corvid Blade, the heavy slash stuns the Blade followed up by Ronin Alpha doing a front flip over it, hitting it with a follow up strike from behind!
(But it was only the first verse...)
(Regardless...)
<<...sorry about that. Must've failed to make sure the whole gust was under control.>>
Pol uses the tubby custard machine on Falks. They teleport in some of the custard, which Pol then wraps in a nicely wrapped non-healing-enhancing package. Pol then teleports it to Falks for his consumption. <Hopefully this'll do for now.>
The song transitions to the bridge. To celebrate, Pol first starts by-
[RPGM]:
-stopping time. <<ASPERA. Hi there!>>
Pol waves, perhaps to get his attention. <<Did you teleport in or something?>>
Aspera may then be able to note that Pol's glowing purple eyes flash brighter before resuming their normal purple glow.
During this time, Aspera, being the godmodder here, will most likely feel some kind of... massive presence invading their mind. In fact, it’s Pol looking through his memories (theoretically, Pol can access all of a being’s memories if they wanted to, including any related thoughts, but again, this is Aspera we’re talking about. And chaos is being weird, right?)… but whether this actually works is ultimately left up to whether Aspera can actually block Pol out or not.
A thought can be heard in his mind. <Alrightie then. Literally. Any background information I can use against him. Only that. Before something goes wrong.>
Pol can be seen in Aspera's mind looking through a ton of...glowing file cabinets (assuming he's even aware of Pol). The file cabinets comprise a presumably rather big wall (Someone that claims to have lived for longer than a universe's existence must surely have a ton of memories, I'd imagine).
[RPGM END]:
Time resumes.
"HAHA. Well, Niyr, if you're going to ruin my impromptu song... then ruin THIS."
Pol moves what remains of their instruments through a portal, before flying at Corvid Blade to steal one of their feathers to be used as a surprise tool that will surely help the Anti-Godmodders later. Pol then backs into another portal. Another portal opens up in the air, bringing in Pol and their/her instruments onto a flying concert stage Pol summoned, which is now next to the City of Babylon's cage, specifically, just by the lock.
Then the chorus starts. And the song modulates into C sharp minor. "BE FREEEE!"is what Pol screams, a rather thematically inappropriate word choice. Meanwhile, a large portal that covers the roof of the mine (I thought this mine was underground but IDK) opens to the sky above, providing a better view of the waxing inverse-gibbous (which might as well be a waning gibbous) moon and the partially cloudy weather.
Pol lets their original bass guitar go wild with an insane solo befitting of the chorus. So much string tapping and chord shreddage. It's shredding so hard, that time seems to slow down around it because of how awesome it is. Oh wait. Right. That must be the guitar suddenly making a time distortion field around it. It's not a very big field, hardly affecting anything. But it's a field that's big enough to catch the lock in its time distortion effects as the guitar floats next to the lock and continues shredding like mad.
From an outside point of view, it'd appear as if the solo paused for a bit. Despite the field's effect of making a month in it pass when a second outside it passes, it somehow doesn't have any effect on the exiting sound waves. As months pass in the time field, the lock rusts, faster than usual due to the high humidity (63% water vapour is pretty humid, after all).
Oh, and a side note. Strangely enough, the guitar doesn't seem to be the thing perpetuating the time field. As such, if it just so happened to be rudely interrupted, the time field still persists. Weird.
The right part of the moon that isn't visible begins cracking off before being pulled off in its entirety. <Pretty sure no one's going to notice the moon missing the chunk not visible at this time.>
The moon curve is then brought through a humongous portal that opens to the sky above. At first, it's obscured by a particularly large cloud as it is launched at the cage with a FINE HEAP OF TELEKINESIS, rapidly gaining speed. It starts burning up like a proper meteor while it is crushed and compressed to make sure it doesn't cause too much collateral damage, before dramatically punching through the clouds screaming at the city of Babylon's cage. The flying stage flies away from the cage as the meteor hits the cage, right on the very rusted lock. Right on impact, the song finishes. "FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM."
[21/35]: Pol gives Morpho #2 an array of portals to different universes to choose from for their search.
Pol grabs one of the resulting moon chunks from the collision and starts shaping it like play-dough. Pol shapes it into a +1. It is then grabbed by an unseen force and then thrown through another portal. The moon +1 plops down on the ground next to Ian. [+1 to @Razor_Typhoon].
Reese looks at Relvaat.
“Only 5000 Attack, huh? That’s pathetic.”
He decides to have his attack utilize the current time of Twilight (Derogatory). A deep darkness descends upon Revlaat, sending them into a dream. Within this dream, a swarm of bats attacks Revlaat both physically and emotionally, slashing at them while dive-bombing and hurling vicious insults. This continues for a good while before Revlaat is able to wake up.
“Did you have a nice rest?” Reese comes up with a valid summon on the spot [1/20]
+1 to @Changing Flask
(I'm going to start passing out boosts now, I don't care if someone already had their turn before me and I don't care about people being on other teams, I boost whoever I want except people that haven't got a charge in progress or people who are only 1 away from maxing out their charge count and summoning/upgrading a entity)
``...I'm not even complaining...``
Ian would then notice the 1+ shaped moon...
``...and I'm not even questioning this....but I say you should watch out for a electrified floor``
within a second, Ian would look around to find...
A. something that can carry water like a cup, bucket, watering can, etc.
B. something that pours out water like a tap or something.
upon finding the aforementioned 2 things, he would pour the water on the floor and then use his electricity powers to make the water electrified to damage both monsters.
``why didn't I think of this back when I was with those desperate heroism-seekers...``
A new figure sits carefully obverseing the battlefield. Before noticing the Pony and Immediately leting out a loud squeal that could probably be considered an attack on its own if it had an action dedicated to it. The figure then teleports behind the Pony and attemps to issue a tackle hug. Regardless of whether or not it lands the person would begin talking at speeds that may be familiar to the Pony if they met Pinky Pie
The figure suddenly seems to rember something and stops talking
"Oh that's right I was sposed to Be all serious and "Make a good impression of our organization but I guess that idea is out the window. Oh right I guess I should introduce myself. I am "The Chosen one" I am the only one in the multiverse who Can control HATE without being corrupted and also a reality bender now apparently? My name is Alice, hiya! So anyway I'm Here representing a group of universe that were already aware of eachother called the Mellodus Universi. Basically they sent me to help kill this godmoder fellow and act as a sort of representative of the organization to make a good impression on you lot so our organization can help make sure that a giant war doesn't break out once the godmoder is taken care of"
An amalgamation of gelatinous liquid, small animal bones, vegetation, dirt, and digesting fur rolls around the battlefield, happily scooping up any and all edible debris.
Sblib hasn't had a meal this great since... well they cant remember, but they were enjoying it. They were glad they avoided attention for so long by just being inconspicuous and cleaning up everything on the side. They weren't too found of the loud sounds and having to move around all the time, but as their size slowly grew it became easier and easier to shlorp along.
"Blorblp."
A giant fireball here, a weird hacker there, all typical things to avoid. Just so long as there wasn't any ice or cold, Sblib was happy. And full.
{Entity Actions}
If freed, Babylon's town guard tries to defend whatever is closer to dying.
{Planning room}
All things considered, X'ian Eclipse is at 19/30 (2 from Champion Greninjoid, 1 from Krill13, 1 from natural generation)
The unicorn, still quite dizzy from the "Alice"'s tackle-hug, decides to-
Oops, that +1 is flung right into the Insert Name Here.... or just [Name Here]!
{Action}
Getting their bearings back, the unicorn checked the bucket for information. The neck-tie consuming Seagull? The unicorn was fascinated by its size and unusual diet... and so, he would commit a highway robbery under the partially cloudy sky that seemed to be derogatorily Twilighty, and shined by a solitary moon. His target? A lot of neckties to feed the seagull and tame it. The unicorn then hops on its back and commands it to fly high, as he then pulls the device to condense the air into nacho cheese-flavoured water! Nifty, but that's not all.
Flask would quickly float besides the 'Alice', rolling his eyes to her request, before going towards the cage containing the void dragon and constructing a device shooting presurrized steam... using the neck-tie eating seagull's flaps as the energy source and his own fiery powers as the heater! After all, the condensed shots of steam would start trying to pick-lock the cage at once! Even if the picklock attempt fails, the heated water to thousand degrees should oxidize the lock more easily than even a strong acid! He does that until the seagull is exhausted, after which, he dismounts it and looks at Nyir. The dragon now standing on the other side of the barricade, one hindering him. Then back at the person whose speech reminded him... of a certain pony. "First off, Aspera is my priority to beat. Second, can you... please, slow down? It gives me headaches when some people like you talk to me too quickly. Third... what the eff is even 'HATE'? Some failed Aspera's project?"
The unicorn then takes a clear jab at the Godmodder while responding to the figure, the opportunity to taunt Aspera, the one who controls Nyir, being used.
Sblib sporlps to a plop after seeing the fiery display of Flask's pressurized steam. Following the direction of the steam, their eyes fall upon the Void Dragon.
Sblib, never before have seeing a void dragon, paused and considered it. It looked... tasty. It was also a huge plus that it happened to be trapped inside of a cage! How lucky for Sblib, who had never seen a physical barrier that could stop them. They started sprolling their way in the void dragon's general direction, having made up their mind to eat it.
"Sblabp."
The slime was about the size of a small car already, having picked up many a digestible item. Only imagination could tell to see how much this would increase his size... and voraciousness.
[Action]
At the same time of the steam attack, Sblib will approach the cage and attempt to enter it and consume the dragon.
"Okay. To awanser you question no. HATE Is litterly what it sounds like. Its the emoton of hate. But so much of it that it forms a will of its own and croupts an individual while enhancing any magic they have and give them regeritive propertys. The only reason I'm not evil becuse of it is actually because Im just an AI. Alice is actually an acronym standing for "Advadced Learning Icirus Containment and Extraction" If you wondering why I say I am an AI when I'm clearly made of flesh and blood is becuse this is actually a corpse I am piloting through manipulation of a force known as "DETERMINATION" as well as holy magic that lets me feel as if I actually had a soul!"
she seems to be really into talking about herself
"Oh right. I should probably attack the godmodder. Good thing every letter in both this post and the previous, are actually homeing missiles! Even the punctuation is a homeing missile!"
[Action]
True to her word. A tear opens up in mettaspace and all the words in this post and my previous post come flying out and lock onto the godmoder. Even if they were to teleport away or something predictable like that the missiles would follow them! As they are equipped with omnipotent navigation systems, even being able to sweep around suddenly created barriers, state of the art Melodis Universi tech. Also these leaters are stil missiles. And so are these, and so is this random key mashings jdj jv84 c ijigkc icykfij4jvoji kvjcidkjjdijduvwhcjfi19395ioei4iei2iti okay I'll stop now, bur you get it right? Lots of missiles that cannot be avoided by traditional means.
"Okay. To awanser you question no. HATE Is litterly what it sounds like. Its the emoton of hate. But so much of it that it forms a will of its own and croupts an individual while enhancing any magic they have and give them regeritive propertys. The only reason I'm not evil becuse of it is actually because Im just an AI. Alice is actually an acronym standing for "Advadced Learning Icirus Containment and Extraction" If you wondering why I say I am an AI when I'm clearly made of flesh and blood is becuse this is actually a corpse I am piloting through manipulation of a force known as "DETERMINATION" as well as holy magic that lets me feel as if I actually had a soul!"
she seems to be really into talking about herself
"Oh right. I should probably attack the godmodder. Good thing every letter in both this post and the previous, are actually homeing missiles! Even the punctuation is a homeing missile!"
Pol teleports a bit far from the action to investigate these new allies that have just now showed up. And near Alice. "Don't think I've ever heard of your 'organisation'. Does it have a name?"
"...Ahem. Nice to meet you Alice." Pol says with a smile. "So I take it you come from the Undertale multiverse? Your description of hate and determination fits the bill."
They then eye the slime. <<Don't know if you can understand this... buut could you not hurt the void dragon?>>
<Does that slime even know if it's corrosive or not? Is it even after anything?>
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