Humorous Cheese sticks conspiracy theories

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The Real Goblin Tinkerer said:
Speaking of crazy theories, hold on to your unicorns cause my latest one is as crazy as killing a dungeon guardian with the wand of sparking!
So....
We already know the clothier used to be the old man guarding the dungeon. And furthermore, we know he remembers tying up the mechanic and throwing her into the dungeon as evidenced by his quote: "I keep having vague memories of tying up a woman and throwing her in a dungeon."
But what none of us knew before today, is the deep family reason behind his actions. The old man is not under any curse, it's a guise to distract us from his evil intentions. The thing is, relogic know all of his secrets and they left us some subtle clues (more subtle than @NickWatson's advertising)
The thing that first caught my attention was when I was working tirelessly on my latest conspiracy, and realised that if you use the code A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 etc.
then all the letters in the word clothier add up to 90. This was suspicious because 9 is a powerful illuminati number (3 x 3 = 9) but alerted me further when I found that all the letters in terraria add up to the same number. 90!
Now I knew that there was a deep conspiracy involving the clothier and terraria (i wonder if chippy knows about all this)
So....
Add up the letters in "old man" and you get the number 59
Add up the letters in "mechanic" and you get 56
These numbers are 3 numbers apart! 3 is the number of the illuminati!
I continued my research....
What if I said that the old man and the mechanic had a child?
Well this is in fact true, as I will explain: add up the letters in the word "child" and you get the number 36. (I use the A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 etc. method for all my conspiracies) We know that the mechanic number is 56 and 5 + 6 = 11, we know that the old man number is 59 and 5 + 9 = 14.
11 + 14 = 25 (keep reading, you won't be disappointed)
We know the 'child' number is 36 and we know the mechanic's secondary number is 11.
36 minus 11 = 25.
And 25 is the secondary numbers of the old man and the mechanic added together!
This symbolises the fact that the old man and the mechanic had a child, but the mechanic (the kid's mum) was taken away from the child at birth. (because child number minus mechanic number = mum + dad.
The old man must have had a son with the mechanic and then tied up the mechanic in the dungeon, because he didn't want anyone to find out. And you wonder why I assume it was a son? (bear with me, seriously this is awesome)
Add up the letters in the word "tax" (A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, etc.) and you get the number 45.
The child number is 36, and 36 + 9 (9 is the illuminati number of power) = 45.
So this proves the tax collector is the son of the mechanic and the old man, but the old man tied up the mother of his child and threw her in the dungeon, then made a pact with an evil skeleton lord (play the adventure map R'lyeh Nexus) to give him enough power to banish his son to the underworld.
This is why you find the tax collector in the underworld, and why, (sorry chippy) you should never trust the clothier.
Okay I'll admit that was quite confusing, but if you wrap your head around it and read it slowly, you will be stunned and amazed. (sorry i find it easier to understand as a goblin genius)
Thank you,
The Real Goblin Tinkerer
<3
Click to expand...
One thing pretty sure the tax collector is older and why old man your so old so pretty good
 
I dreamed that this was all a dream, a virtual reality so that we would not discover the truth, the rest I remember is seeing someone with many arms and a lot of computers, writing the reports, controlling us, lying to us, the dream continued with talking to me about the false reality, the truth I have kept that dream in my mind, thinking about it.
 
NarutoMaki16 said:
my theory is that im a person :eek: :(
Click to expand...
You are a person but working for a group trying to take over the Illuminati and you are posting your theories to try get info on the Illuminati of therealgoblintinker so you can report back to your superiors to figure out their weakness and you already know some of their strengths and now you are waiting to hear about their weaknesses
 
Digitus99 said:
I dreamed that this was all a dream, a virtual reality so that we would not discover the truth, the rest I remember is seeing someone with many arms and a lot of computers, writing the reports, controlling us, lying to us, the dream continued with talking to me about the false reality, the truth I have kept that dream in my mind, thinking about it.
Click to expand...
But maybe it's true the government spying on us trying to control us through electronic waves or neuro passages or it could link onto my other theory we are just a video game maybe we are still in development and that explains the computers
 
The Real Goblin Tinkerer said:
Speaking of crazy theories, hold on to your unicorns cause my latest one is as crazy as killing a dungeon guardian with the wand of sparking!
So....
We already know the clothier used to be the old man guarding the dungeon. And furthermore, we know he remembers tying up the mechanic and throwing her into the dungeon as evidenced by his quote: "I keep having vague memories of tying up a woman and throwing her in a dungeon."
But what none of us knew before today, is the deep family reason behind his actions. The old man is not under any curse, it's a guise to distract us from his evil intentions. The thing is, relogic know all of his secrets and they left us some subtle clues (more subtle than @NickWatson's advertising)
The thing that first caught my attention was when I was working tirelessly on my latest conspiracy, and realised that if you use the code A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 etc.
then all the letters in the word clothier add up to 90. This was suspicious because 9 is a powerful illuminati number (3 x 3 = 9) but alerted me further when I found that all the letters in terraria add up to the same number. 90!
Now I knew that there was a deep conspiracy involving the clothier and terraria (i wonder if chippy knows about all this)
So....
Add up the letters in "old man" and you get the number 59
Add up the letters in "mechanic" and you get 56
These numbers are 3 numbers apart! 3 is the number of the illuminati!
I continued my research....
What if I said that the old man and the mechanic had a child?
Well this is in fact true, as I will explain: add up the letters in the word "child" and you get the number 36. (I use the A = 1, B = 2, C = 3 etc. method for all my conspiracies) We know that the mechanic number is 56 and 5 + 6 = 11, we know that the old man number is 59 and 5 + 9 = 14.
11 + 14 = 25 (keep reading, you won't be disappointed)
We know the 'child' number is 36 and we know the mechanic's secondary number is 11.
36 minus 11 = 25.
And 25 is the secondary numbers of the old man and the mechanic added together!
This symbolises the fact that the old man and the mechanic had a child, but the mechanic (the kid's mum) was taken away from the child at birth. (because child number minus mechanic number = mum + dad.
The old man must have had a son with the mechanic and then tied up the mechanic in the dungeon, because he didn't want anyone to find out. And you wonder why I assume it was a son? (bear with me, seriously this is awesome)
Add up the letters in the word "tax" (A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, etc.) and you get the number 45.
The child number is 36, and 36 + 9 (9 is the illuminati number of power) = 45.
So this proves the tax collector is the son of the mechanic and the old man, but the old man tied up the mother of his child and threw her in the dungeon, then made a pact with an evil skeleton lord (play the adventure map R'lyeh Nexus) to give him enough power to banish his son to the underworld.
This is why you find the tax collector in the underworld, and why, (sorry chippy) you should never trust the clothier.
Okay I'll admit that was quite confusing, but if you wrap your head around it and read it slowly, you will be stunned and amazed. (sorry i find it easier to understand as a goblin genius)
Thank you,
The Real Goblin Tinkerer
<3
Click to expand...
Do you think you could make some simpler theories with your cool complex ones to help everyone understands
 
NarutoMaki16 said:
my theory is that im a person :eek: :(
Click to expand...
Cheese sticks said:
Well interesting that could work
Click to expand...
Cheese sticks said:
You are a person but working for a group trying to take over the Illuminati and you are posting your theories to try get info on the Illuminati of therealgoblintinker so you can report back to your superiors to figure out their weakness and you already know some of their strengths and now you are waiting to hear about their weaknesses
Click to expand...
And boom that theory works
 
My theory is that it's, by definition, impossible for an object with 2 dimensions to exist. Think about it. Everything has depth, the third dimension, of some kind, even if it's a hundredth of a millionth of a nanometer. So technically, a 2D life would only be possible in a parallel dimension with different laws of physics that defy our known laws of physics.
 
Soviet0nion said:
My theory is that it's, by definition, impossible for an object with 2 dimensions to exist. Think about it. Everything has depth, the third dimension, of some kind, even if it's a hundredth of a millionth of a nanometer. So technically, a 2D life would only be possible in a parallel dimension with different laws of physics that defy our known laws of physics.
Click to expand...
I literally said something like that a few pages ago :dryadtongue:
 
Cheese sticks said:
One thing pretty sure the tax collector is older and why old man your so old so pretty good
Click to expand...
Good point cheese sticks but I'm sure that you would look older than you really are if your mother was tied up and thrown in a dungeon by your father and then your father made a pact with an evil skeleton lord and banished you to hell for eternity.
 
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