Story Cthulhu's World - Terraria

Drak

Cultist

PLEASE READ

This has ended.
It is going to be remade.
So dont read the other chapters.
I deleted the first chapter aswell.
Ill put a link here to the remade version when its made.
More on why its remade on page 7.
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It has a good plot.

The typos and the misspellings are out of control in this story, please fix them.

HOWEVER,
You spelled Cthulhu right, have a cookie! :happy:
[DOUBLEPOST=1440487445,1440487391][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, call the land if Terraria, "Terra," from now on. It's more suitable.
 
It has a good plot.

The typos and the misspellings are out of control in this story, please fix them.

HOWEVER,
You spelled Cthulhu right, have a cookie! :happy:
[DOUBLEPOST=1440487445,1440487391][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, call the land if Terraria, "Terra," from now on. It's more suitable.

Thank you for commenting ^^

I will fix those things now, but for the moment I'm going to keep terraria, but I will mention terra. you will see.
*Munch's on cookie*
 
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Chapter 2 : The Newcomers Awakening

Cthulhu was doing what he always does - Watching over Terraria, which he nicknamed, Terra, because it meant Earth in Latin, which was a human language.
Over the hill, there were some slimes organizing stuff in wooden chests. There were also some Antlions having a picnic. And some sharks having a race! It seemed like a great day for the land of Terraria!

But was it really?

One of the first things Cthulhu noticed was, a newcomer? No, in the thousands of years that Terraria existed, it has NEVER experienced the sight of a newcomer.

There isn't a possible WAY to get from Earth to Terraria, is there?

But none of that matters now, because, he is here.
"He won't be to bad, I'm sure he's peaceful. It isn't like he's a evil beast from another planet." Cthulhu said to himself.

"Everything OK?"
It was the Moon Lord, Cthulhu's younger brother.
"He is here"
"No, a newcomer? This has never happened in the thousands of years that Terraria has even existed!" Exclaimed The Moon Lord.
"Don't worry, Surely he's nice."
"Maybe, but" Replied Cthulhu.
"I think it's him."

"Oh." Said The Moon Lord
"OH"
"I guess I should be, going, then."

"Please Do" Cthulhu Replied.

"Now what will I do with him?" asked Cthulhu, wondering what The Human would do.
At the present moment he was chatting with The Guide. In-fact, The Guide gave him some copper tools!
Quickly and silently, The human started cutting trees.
And in less the an hour, he made a 4 story house, with 2 rooms on each floor.

Cthulhu, now seeing his generosity and skill, decided that he will ignore him for now, for he wasn't doing any harm.

But, Cthulhu was still worried. He glanced back at the human, who was simply creating a campfire indoors for the night, to keep warm, atleast that's what he assumed. And then he quickly, got back to helping the rest of Terraria.
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Chapter 3 - Traiter!

After the night fell, The Human set out, to wander the land.
As he walked, he marked everything he saw very carefully on his map, making sure not to miss one single thing.
After a while of walking, and map marking, he took all the stuff from some pots he walked past, not caring in the slightest.
Which was OBVIOUSLY because he ACCIDENTALLY walked into them and smashed them, right?
Straight after taking stuff from some more smashed pots, he came across a blue slime's chest.

And he STOLE everything from it!
"WHAT!!!" yelled Cthulhu,
bewildered on why the human would do such a thing!

And it got WORSE!

Straight afterwards, the blue slime who owned the chest came along.

"wha-what's happening?" asked the blue slime, who was very confused, since crime in Terraria is zero.

And just like that, rather abruptly, the Human promptly killed the slime.

"WH-why would you- why?"
stuttered Cthulhu, in utter shock.

But the human didn't stop there.

As the human kept exploring the world, he did this process over, and over, and over again.

"This is, utter madness. MADNESS!" said Cthulhu.

But, the human, looked very happy with what he had done.

Yes, he gained a wand of sparking, a boomerang, and a spear from it, but he killed many innocents in the process.

Then, the human pulled out a star shaped potion from his pocket, and drunk it.
And suddenly the human was home.

"Why, just why..." wondered Cthulhu...
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Firstly, thank you for commenting ^^

Secondly, im happy you like it ^^

Thirdly, do you mean the whole story/plot could use work or is there a specific part? And if its a specific part then can you please tell me what part it is, and what the probem is?
 
Firstly, thank you for commenting ^^

Secondly, im happy you like it ^^

Thirdly, do you mean the whole story/plot could use work or is there a specific part? And if its a specific part then can you please tell me what part it is?

first your welcome, second i do like it and last, i can relate to you in terms of grammer, i need somone else to check my spelling and what not, so your grammer needs work, and the fact that cuthulu is so dramitic is off, make him suprized but not sceaming at the world, after all the story said he was calm and peaceful
 
i said the WORLD was calm and peaceful, not cthulhu. and yes, the grammar is a thing i need to work on.
 
Just some critic:

The NPC's are human, or so they appear, yet you say there has been no humans ever there, and until you give a logical explanation, you are contradicting yourself. As well as that, if no humans were ever there, then how would he know Latin, a human language?

As for the writing style, you seem to use the words "Said" and "yelled" for speaking a lot, you could use this for more options: http://www.spwickstrom.com/said/

Also, you seem to use basic words quite a lot, may I suggest using this to vary your words to make the story more interesting: https://quizlet.com/47044321/200-well-spoken-alternatives-to-common-words-and-phrase-3-flash-cards/

And my only other suggestion is to make longer chapters, and to make them more often. The more you expand on your grammar the better.
 
You raise a good point. also, thank you for the links.

The grammar, is part my fault part my keyboards. its a very old keyboard so extra letters are common, but i dont edit (i should though).

im editing the second chapter now.
 
Just some critic:

The NPC's are human, or so they appear, yet you say there has been no humans ever there, and until you give a logical explanation, you are contradicting yourself. As well as that, if no humans were ever there, then how would he know Latin, a human language?

As for the writing style, you seem to use the words "Said" and "yelled" for speaking a lot, you could use this for more options: http://www.spwickstrom.com/said/

Also, you seem to use basic words quite a lot, may I suggest using this to vary your words to make the story more interesting: https://quizlet.com/47044321/200-well-spoken-alternatives-to-common-words-and-phrase-3-flash-cards/

And my only other suggestion is to make longer chapters, and to make them more often. The more you expand on your grammar the better.

Agreed
 
I feel like such a noob right now =/ I can only get better though.

Unless i purposly get worse, which is something i wouldnt do.
[DOUBLEPOST=1441498259,1441498201][/DOUBLEPOST]If there is anything else that is needed to be change tell me.

Please =D
 
Chapter 4 - How is the fire still on?


When the human reached back to his home, Cthulhu realised that somehow, miraculously, his campfire was still sparking away, lively as ever.
But that wasn't the only odd thing about it.
It also seemed to enlighten, and help him in someway, he even looked more lively around it. Was it just the heat, or was it something else?

After a couple minutes of The human storing and organizing items, he set off in search for a cave.

In almost no time whatsoever, he found a cave, that seemed to split off into ATLEAST 3 different directions, each one filled with shimmering ore, and each one infested with
Skeletons.

You see, Skeletons have a strong sense of vengeance, and almost all creatures know about The human's doing.

So, most of the creatures on Terra, were set on killing him.

How did they know? Cthulhu.
Cthulhu told everybody.

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"Now, I bring you all here today to discuss an ever pressing issue that's going on." Cthulhu explained to the other demigods, and of course some wyverns, who were the messengers that informed all the creatures the news.
"A newcomer, a human, has come to the land of Terraria, and he's stealing from slimes, shortly afterwards killing whoever owned the contents of what they stole. And this was along with any other slime that pass by." explained Cthulhu.

"And, This is when you guys come in."
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