Story Ded Freg

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Jack Morgan

Skeletron Prime
This is a new writing project I've gotten myself into. Not sure how this will interact with my schedule for Wispy, but we'll see. And no, the name does not relate to the actual story.
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Chapter 1

Ahem. Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Grim D. Reaper. My friends call me Grim, and my co-workers call me Grumpy Grim behind my back.

I suppose the name isn't that far off, though. There's not a whole lot to not be grumpy about. I used to have a cushy job bringing the souls of the damned down to the big pit, ( I mean Hell ) but I got "promoted" due to some fancy schmancy new system they got running. Now I have to work with one of the most annoying jobs in the 9 Circles: Dealing with the Sin/Horsemen problem. Yep. Y'see, the two groups are supposed to be working together to plague humanity and whatnot. Sins working from the insides of the mortals, and the Horsemen working with outside forces. Only problem is, for some stupid reason that has to do with this guy named Conquest, the two hate each other. So I have to deal with it.
It's a real shame about Conquest, too. I only met him once or twice, but he was bearable. He disappeared a few centuries ago, and hasn't been found anywhere from Heaven to Hell. And now the Sins and the Horsemen hate each other, but refuse to tell any of us whose jobs are on the line about it.

This particular day, I have orders from Big Red ( Or the Devil, if you want to be formal ) to interview each of the Horsemen. They all live in this big old building that supposedly dates back to the days of Adam and Eve. I honestly don't believe that, but whatever floats the boat. It's pretty empty inside. They keep a little furniture and decoration in their rooms, but the hallways are desolate. I enter the first door on the left, marked with a big "WAR" in red letters. I wonder who lives there. War's an odd fellow. Dressed in heavy gold armor, he always seems to think we're about to go riding into some battle. There's not a lot I can do to dissuade him, either.

"GRIM, OLD BOY!"
"Greetings, War. I have some questions for you."
"Shoot, buddy."
"Name?"
"Warius Velare."
"Age?"
"Few millennium. Lost track."
"Profession?"
"Don't you already know most these things? Anyhoo, First Horseman, War."
"Thank you for your time."

I didn't waste much time getting out of there. The next door I entered pretty obviously belonged to Pestilence. Not because of a name or anything, but the smell. Pestilence lay on his bed, groaning. Ugh. I pulled up a chair and got down to business.

"Hello, Pestilence. Few questions for you."

"Ugh... Go ahead."
"Name?"
"B-Bob."
"Age?"
"Can't remember."
"Profession?"
"Hurk... Pestilence, Second Horseman."
"Thank you for your time."

With that, I shifted back into the hall just fast enough to avoid a burst of vomit. Disgustion. I smoothed my robe down, and headed into the next room. Of all the Horsemen, Famine looked the most like a mortal. A very, very thin mortal, but a mortal nonetheless.

"G-Grim?"
"Hello, Famine. Few questions for you. Name?"
"Farious."
"Age?"
"Older than the others two, at least."
"Profession?"
"Eh... Famine, Third Horseman."
"Thank you for your time."

I swept back through the hall, but stopped at the large ornate doors that marked Death's office. Death was a prick. He'd been vying for my job ever since we'd met. Didn't matter which job it was, but he took every chance to make me look bad in front of Big Red, and was an all around smug jerk. Fortunately for me, he wasn't that smart. Not as much as me, at least. I entered the doors, returning the bald, tuxedo'd man's glare.

"I have questions for you, Death. Name?"

"Is that any way to greet your old friend, Grim? I'm Death, by the way."
"Shut up so we both can get paid. Age?"
"Not as old as you, old man."
"Profession?"
"A much better one than you. Death, the Fourth Horseman."

I promptly struck the ground with the end of my scythe, slipping down into the darkness I could use to report back. Usually doing that was considered rude, but I can't stand Death any more than five seconds. Or until he opens his mouth.

End of Chapter 1
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Whaddya guys think? You wanna see more?
 
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This is a new writing project I've gotten myself into. Borders and stuff coming later. Not sure how this will interact with my schedule for Wispy, but we'll see. And no, the name does not relate to the actual story.
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Chapter 1

Ahem. Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Grim D. Reaper. My friends call me Grim, and my co-workers call me Grumpy Grim behind my back.

I suppose the name isn't that far off, though. There's not a whole lot to not be grumpy about. I used to have a cushy job bringing the souls of the damned down to the big pit, ( I mean Hell ) but I got "promoted" due to some fancy schmancy new system they got running. Now I have to work with one of the most annoying jobs in the 9 Circles: Dealing with the Sin/Horsemen problem. Yep. Y'see, the two groups are supposed to be working together to plague humanity and whatnot. Sins working from the insides of the mortals, and the Horsemen working with outside forces. Only problem is, for some stupid reason that has to do with this guy named Conquest, the two hate each other. So I have to deal with it.
It's a real shame about Conquest, too. I only met him once or twice, but he was bearable. He disappeared a few centuries ago, and hasn't been found anywhere from Heaven to Hell. And now the Sins and the Horsemen hate each other, but refuse to tell any of us whose jobs are on the line about it.

This particular day, I have orders from Big Red ( Or the Devil, if you want to be formal ) to interview each of the Horsemen. They all live in this big old building that supposedly dates back to the days of Adam and Eve. I honestly don't believe that, but whatever floats the boat. It's pretty empty inside. They keep a little furniture and decoration in their rooms, but the hallways are desolate. I enter the first door on the left, marked with a big "WAR" in red letters. I wonder who lives there. War's an odd fellow. Dressed in heavy gold armor, he always seems to think we're about to go riding into some battle. There's not a lot I can do to dissuade him, either.

"GRIM, OLD BOY!"
"Greetings, War. I have some questions for you."
"Shoot, buddy."
"Name?"
"Warius Velare."
"Age?"
"Few millennium. Lost track."
"Profession?"
"Don't you already know most these things? Anyhoo, First Horseman, War."
"Thank you for your time."

I didn't waste much time getting out of there. The next door I entered pretty obviously belonged to Pestilence. Not because of a name or anything, but the smell. Pestilence lay on his bed, groaning. Ugh. I pulled up a chair and got down to business.

"Hello, Pestilence. Few questions for you."

"Ugh... Go ahead."
"Name?"
"B-Bob."
"Age?"
"Can't remember."
"Profession?"
"Hurk... Pestilence, Second Horseman."
"Thank you for your time."

With that, I shifted back into the hall just fast enough to avoid a burst of vomit. Disgustion. I smoothed my robe down, and headed into the next room. Of all the Horsemen, Famine looked the most like a mortal. A very, very thin mortal, but a mortal nonetheless.

"G-Grim?"
"Hello, Famine. Few questions for you. Name?"
"Farious."
"Age?"
"Older than the others two, at least."
"Profession?"
"Eh... Famine, Third Horseman."
"Thank you for your time."

I swept back through the hall, but stopped at the large ornate doors that marked Death's office. Death was a :red:. He'd been vying for my job ever since we'd met. Didn't matter which job it was, but he took every chance to make me look bad in front of Big Red, and was an all around smug jerk. Fortunately for me, he wasn't that smart. Not as much as me, at least. I entered the doors, returning the bald, tuxedo'd man's glare.

"I have questions for you, Death. Name?"

"Is that any way to greet your old friend, Grim? I'm Death, by the way."
"Shut up so we both can get paid. Age?"
"Not as old as you, old man."
"Profession?"
"A much better one than you. Death, the Fourth Horseman."

I promptly struck the ground with the end of my scythe, slipping down into the darkness I could use to report back. Usually doing that was considered rude, but I can't stand Death any more than five seconds. Or until he opens his mouth.

End of Chapter 1
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Whaddya guys think? You wanna see more?
This one's cool, I look forward to seeing more of your work. :)
 
Second chapter, because it's the debut and it needs more.
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Chapter 2
I stared crankily at the paper in my hand. Taxes were due for the Sins, and they were of course late paying them. Again. This was a continuous trend, you see. Taxes are due, they don't pay them, and I have to go collect. I used to collect souls, y'know. Now what? Taxes. Like some mortal. Anyway, I traveled down to their little shack. I could hear the music from afar. Death of the Horsemen was a little prick, but the Sins were like a bunch of rambunctious mortal teenagers with a tragic lack of supervision and an even more tragic abundance of money. And yet, they can't pay a meager fee in exchange for not being scorched from the Nine Circles by Big Red. I walked up, knocking impatiently. There was a cry from inside, and the sound of scattering feet. I suppose a greeting would have been too much to ask. A clatter of pots alerted me to my first victim: Gluttony. The pudgy chef was gorging himself on cake, while preparing some kind of stew. Ugh. He motioned to me to refill his meaty paws with cake. He almost seemed when I only extended an open palm.

"You know the drill. Pay up."

"Aww... You're no fun, Grim! Just a few more weeks?"
"In few more weeks it will be time for taxes again. Pay up before I stop the food shipments."
"You're so mean! Bwaaah!"

As the bawling man tossed me his due in the form of a handful of golden coins, I gave a slight bow before exiting to the staircase. I almost bumped into a tall woman wearing just about no clothing whatsoever. Lust.

"Good, you're not hiding. Pay up."

"Hmm... Perhaps we could make some kind of... 'Deal'?"
"Just give me the money. Please."
"Oh, c'mon. You gotta heart somewhere in those robes, don'tcha?"
"I don't. I'm a skeleton, Lust. Ske-Le-Ton. Bones."

I waggled my skinless arms a little to get my point across. She pouted at me, before sighing and pulling some coins from questionable places. I made no wait in hurrying along. I was soon accosted by probably the only other Sin who wasn't hiding from me. A shackled, dirty, an raging lunatic. Wrath.

"Oh boy. Pay up, Wrath."

For a second he looked as if he were going to fight. Would've been a mistake on his part. I'd taught him a long time ago that I was one person he should leave alone. After a second of seething glare, he pulled out his money and tossed me what I'd come for. I swept along, wasting no more time on him. Let's see, Envy, Pride, Sloth, and Greed. I only had to follow sound of moping to find Envy. She was crouched in a corner, wrapped up in a black cloak. I wasn't sure if she kept it around to imitate me or to hide herself. Either way, I don't care.

"Envy. Money."

"No."
"Envy. Money."
"Y'know, some of us don't have vast reserves of cash, you prick!"
"You do, though. I count out your pay, remember?"
"Screw you!"

Despite all her tough talk, it only required me to step forward a single step before she gave a yelp and skittered away, tossing coins at me. I would look into what her problem is sometime, if I cared. Which I don't. Wasn't hard to find Sloth. He's always in the same spot when I come by. I'm pretty sure he's in that same spot at any given time. He is Sloth, after all. The man was lying on his couch, looking at me drearily. At least he was awake, for once.

"Sloth. Taxes, pay up."

"Do I haaaave to?"
"Yes, obviously. Or else I wouldn't be here."
"Ehhhh... Money's in the chest. Take what you need."

I actually took a bit more than needed. I've got bills to pay. Not like Sloth noticed, he was already back asleep. Oh well. I just had to get to Pride before he... The sound of trumpets alerted me to my failure. Greeaat. As the lightshow went past, I poked the balloon with the tip of scythe. Pride's balloon sank, delivering the masculine, blond haired egomaniac to my feet.

"Taxes."

"Hey there, Grim! Whaddya think of my new haircut? It's pretty great, I know."
"Pay me the money or I'll shave you bald."

It didn't take much to get Pride to do what you need. He may be prideful, but he knows a dangerous skeleton Reaper when he sees it. I headed off to my last stop. Greed. The man was grooming one of his many green suits, and trying on hundreds of golden rings. I wonder where he gets all that junk. Although, as long as he saves enough of his money to pay, I don't care.

"Greed. Money."

"Woah, woah, woah. Hang on one second. You can't just sweep in here and demand what ain't yours, old man."
"It is mine. Or should I say, The Devil's. So pay up, now."
"I need my cash, man! Come on! Can't you tell a little white lie?"
"Pay."

Instead of paying, he smacked me. Big mistake. I tapped my scythe twice, feeling the air crackle with dark energy. It had been a while since I had a good fight. The shadows rose up, tangling around his legs.

"Pay. Up."

Unfortunately, he manged to exercise common sense for once, and threw a small bag of currency at me.

"Good boy."

I wasn't spending another minute in that stuffy house, so I spread my wings and burst out the window. I had an appointment to meet, so I had to be fast.

End of Chapter 2
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Sp00ky Grim is sp00ky. And yes, these two chapters are basically just introductions.
 
One more, I suppose, to finish off the introductions.
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Chapter 3
I got to the gate pretty early. Big Red really like the big fancy gates to Hell, instead of discreet. Do you know who has to clean up after him when some idiot mortal finds it and shows it to all his friends? Yeah, that's right. Me. Anyway, there would be time for grumbling later. I tapped my scythe against the gate, standing by while it hummed to life. A few damned souls fluttered around the from behind, but scattered when they saw that it wasn't some mortal on the other side. Hell'd really gone soft when those stupid Angels came in waving around their needless contracts and treaties. If only Big Red wasn't so afraid of the Man Upstairs, I might get to flex my wings a little. Anyway, the path to his fortress wasn't too long of a walk. I stuck my hand out, grabbing one of the souls as it darted by. Sorry, buddy. I shoved it in between the jaws of my skull, sighing as I swallowed it whole. That'd do for lunch. The colossal doors opened as they recognized me. I walked on down the hall, leaning on my scythe. That was the one thing that bothered me about this place. It made the pain in my leg return. Ah, but we can talk about that later. I reached the throne room with no time wasted, and tapped my scythe to let him know I'd arrived. The giant throne made of skulls ( A bit cliche in my tastes, but that's the Devil for you ) emitted a huge torrent of black flame, with a huge red face flickering inside it. I waited somewhat impatiently for him to get done with his little light show, and a large, hollow voice echoed around after a minute.

"GRIM."
"I'm here, Boss. What's so important?"
"THE TOP BRASS DECIDED IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER INVESTIGATION."
"Great. Which of the pricks is it this time?"

As if to answer my question, I dry, official voice decided to make a presence. Great.

"That would be me, Azazel. Or, it's Grim now, isn't it?"
"Wonderful. Of all the giant winged pricks, they sent Michael. Is there not a single other angel that didn't have a better waste of his time?"
"Oh, come on. You're just holding a grudge about the War."
"I'm not here to argue with your ego. Can we just get this over with?"
"Ahah, but of course. I examined the area, I've come up with a short list of things not up to standard. I expect they will be fixed with haste."

With that, Michael launched away on wings that hurt my eyes, leaving behind a small scroll. Christ, I hate angels.

"Sir, can we really not just kill them all?"

"YOU ARE MY MOST TRUSTED GENERAL, GRIM. YOUR TIME WILL COME AGAIN. BUT WE MUST BE PATIENT."
"Ugh. I'll get going with the list His Highness made up, then. See ya."
"FAREWELL."

I picked up the scroll and headed out the way I came, quickly running my eyes over the bratty complaints Michael had made. Not a single one of them was a problem to us that had been running the Nine Circles for eternity, but them who live Upstairs just love to complain. Ugh.

End of Chapter 3
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It would not appear Grim is a great big fan of angels.
Oh yeah, little banner thing made by my friend Owlbunny
 
Whoop whoop I love Grim too much.
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Chapter 4
I stared up at Big Red bleakly, letting my disapproval show.

"A beach. You want me to take them to the beach? Have you any idea how much of a bad idea that is?"

"GRIM. DO AS I ASK. WE MUST GET THEM OVER THIS FOOLISH FUED. PLEASE.

I am the only person that Big Red will ever say "Please" to, and even then it was rare. Not something to use over a beach vacation. He might have some other reasoning, but I wasn't giving up so easily.

"And what happens when they decide to blow each other's brains out? I'm not going to be the one to deal with it."

"WORRY NOT, GRIM."

I was about to explain exactly just why I should be worrying, but an all-too-familiar voice made itself known.

"I'll be with you. Nothing will go wrong."
"Boss, you can't do this to me. Not her."
"SHE INSISTED. YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS. GO."

I swept away. Unfortunately, Lilith knew me well enough to match my pace. The woman was dressed in a full black robe, her dazzling red hair cascading down almost to her heels. Several golden trinkets and pieces of jewelry adorned her hands and complimented her stunningly attractive face. Ugh.

"Oh, come on. Ya gonna warm up to me eventually."
"Lilith, can we not? I want to get this foolish outing over with already."
"Azazel, you can't just keep ignoring me forever."
"I can, and I will. And it's Grim now, I'm sure you're well aware."
"Aww, you'll always be my little Az-Az."
"This is why we broke up."
"That's not what you say whenever I bring it up."
"You know what you did."

With that, I unfurled my wings and sped off. Lilith may know me better than I'm comfortable with, but she couldn't match my flight speed. The beach party was scheduled for tomorrow, which left me with just enough time to grab myself a Glamour. I could just take another form, but that's more work than I like. Unfortunately, the only man I know who makes Glamours that fit on people like me had taken up shop in the mortal world. Looks like I was going to have to go on a trip.
I will say one thing: The mortal world is noisy. Everywhere I flew, the constant beeps, whirs, and clatters found their way to my ear. I prefer the silence. If only we were still in the good ol' days. As I walked into the small, run down shack, it brought back memories.

I walked down the alleyway, pushing a few homeless mortals out of my way as I found my way to Clarence's shop. As I stooped to fit under the door, the short man gave me a toothy grin.

"Azazel. What can I do for you today?"
"Hello, Clarence. I need a glamour."
"Course ya do, Aze. Never come down for tea, do ya?"
"Sorry, busy. War is brewing, you know. Between that and Lil, I don't have much time."
"Ugh, war. Kill a lot of 'em for me, ya hear?"
"You know I will."

I snapped back to reality as Clarence passed me my package quietly. I placed down his regular fee, and swept off. Clarence was an old friend, but as was the case with most my friends, we hadn't spoken much since the War. Anyway, on my back to the Gate, something caught my eye. A tall man, with pale skin, white hair, and nothing but a simple white robe on. The strangest thing, though, was that he was staring at me. He wasn't a Demon, I'd know if he was, but Mortals can't see things like me. That wasn't right. I was about to grab him for interrogation, but he disappeared. Literally. Every little trace of his soul's signature faded into nothing, leaving me with no way to pursue him. Very, very odd. I resolved to ask Big Red about it, and hopefully get permission from those damned Angels to investigate. Ugh. Either way, I had an appointment to keep, so I hurried along to the Horsemen's house to give them the meetup plans. The whole way, I had an odd feeling.

End of Chapter 4
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Hm? What's that? Plot, you say? Don't worry, Ded Freg will always be lighthearted, even when :red: goes down.
 
Ded Freg returns
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Chapter 5
"Aren't you hot in those clothes?"

We were all at the beach, with me sitting as far away from the others as I could while still keeping an eye on them. Lilith was, of course, referring to the heavy coat and scarf my human form wears. I readjusted the round framed spectacles, peering at her.

"I'm fine. First of all, this is a glamour. Second of all, I don't get hot. I'm made of bones."

"Hmph. Just watchin' out for you, old man."
"You're one to talk about old. And I can take care of myself."
"Meh. Anyway, I really think we should talk."
"Sorry, but I'm too busy watching a group of idiot demons."
"It could be worse. At least Pestilence stayed home. Sick with the flu."
"Flu? That's mild, especially for him."
"There's also Ebola, Malaria, and a few other things I can't pronounce."
"Makes sense. Go watch the kids, I'm going for a walk."

I hopped off my rock, limping away on my cane despite her protests. I readjusted my glasses again, walking up the road we'd taken to get here. My destination was a small town close by. Unfortunately, I didn't get far before another set of footsteps joined my own. I stopped abruptly, crankily turning around to face whoever it was.

"Uh, sir?"

Oh, great. A mortal. Not just any old mortal, either. A small girl, probably only six or seven years old.

"Yes?"

"Uh... I'm lost... Can you help me find my parents?"

She looked as if she was about to cry. Why did it have to be me?

"Where did you see them last?"

"We were down at the beach, walking with the tide. I ran off to pick up a pretty shell, but when I turned around... They were gone."
"That was it? Anything else?"
"Mm... I thought I saw a really, really big fish!"

As she spread her arms out to exaggerate how large the fish had been, it clicked inside my head. Missing parents, beach, big fish. Great. I laid my hand on her forehead, and told her to sleep. She looked at me with some amount of alarm, and passed out. Picking her up and slinging her over my shoulder, I let my wings rip through the glamour and I sped off back to the beach. The Seven and the Four were engaged in a vicious debate, so I slowly crept up and tapped Lilith on the shoulder. She turned to me, giving me an odd look.

"Kidnapping kids, Aze?"
"There's a Leviathan in the waters. We should probably deal with it."
"Leviathan? How do you know?"
"This kid's parents got eaten, and she saw it as it swam away. Trust me on this one."
"Ugh. Fine. I'll get them to deal with it. Take the kid up to the town and see if she has any other family."
"Sounds good."

I started off back to the town, using my wings to fly small distances to maintain the mortal's well-being. Right as I got out of earshot, I heard the sounds of combat start up. It made me nostalgic. Suddenly, the girl stirred. Seemed I hadn't used enough force. She looked up at me, confused, and then her eyes opened wide as golf balls as her eyes trailed to my wings. Great.

"A-Are you an angel? Am I dead?"
"No and no. Shut up."
"Then... What are you?"
"None of your business. Didn't your parents ever tell you to introduce yourself first before asking other's names?"
"Oh, uh! My name's Nina. Now answer my question."
"Stubborn brat. Call me Simon."
"I didn't ask your name! What are you? People don't have wings."
"Ugh. I'm an angel. Happy?"
"I knew it! Are you my guardian angel?"
"YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD. Sleep."

I put her back to sleep. I never did like small children. And to think, I thought for a second I thought I might get some peace and quiet.

"That was a bit harsh, Grim."
"Shouldn't you be fighting, soldier boy?"
"A soldier is nothing without a general. I came up here to ask you the same question."
"I'm taking the kid to find her relatives."
"That's a :red:ty excuse. You're the only person I know who loves to fight as much as I do. More, even."
"I don't fight anymore. You know this."
"Sure, but it's still not like you. I should probably get back to the fight, then. Seems I'm not going to get much further with you."
"Good idea."

As he walked away, I pushed off in the other direction, feeling the air on my wings. Felt good. Now, I could've actually searched for her relatives, but I was running low on time for an important meeting. So I did the next best thing: I found an police station, casually walked up to the front desk, laid the girl down, and disappeared. I'd send someone down to clear up any memories that shouldn't be there later. Until then, I had somewhere to be. The others could handle the Leviathan.

End of Chapter 5
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Grim dislikes mortals. And everything else.
 
Ded Freg returns
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Chapter 5
"Aren't you hot in those clothes?"

We were all at the beach, with me sitting as far away from the others as I could while still keeping an eye on them. Lilith was, of course, referring to the heavy coat and scarf my human form wears. I readjusted the round framed spectacles, peering at her.

"I'm fine. First of all, this is a glamour. Second of all, I don't get hot. I'm made of bones."

"Hmph. Just watchin' out for you, old man."
"You're one to talk about old. And I can take care of myself."
"Meh. Anyway, I really think we should talk."
"Sorry, but I'm too busy watching a group of idiot demons."
"It could be worse. At least Pestilence stayed home. Sick with the flu."
"Flu? That's mild, especially for him."
"There's also Ebola, Malaria, and a few other things I can't pronounce."
"Makes sense. Go watch the kids, I'm going for a walk."

I hopped off my rock, limping away on my cane despite her protests. I readjusted my glasses again, walking up the road we'd taken to get here. My destination was a small town close by. Unfortunately, I didn't get far before another set of footsteps joined my own. I stopped abruptly, crankily turning around to face whoever it was.

"Uh, sir?"

Oh, great. A mortal. Not just any old mortal, either. A small girl, probably only six or seven years old.

"Yes?"

"Uh... I'm lost... Can you help me find my parents?"

She looked as if she was about to cry. Why did it have to be me?

"Where did you see them last?"

"We were down at the beach, walking with the tide. I ran off to pick up a pretty shell, but when I turned around... They were gone."
"That was it? Anything else?"
"Mm... I thought I saw a really, really big fish!"

As she spread her arms out to exaggerate how large the fish had been, it clicked inside my head. Missing parents, beach, big fish. Great. I laid my hand on her forehead, and told her to sleep. She looked at me with some amount of alarm, and passed out. Picking her up and slinging her over my shoulder, I let my wings rip through the glamour and I sped off back to the beach. The Seven and the Four were engaged in a vicious debate, so I slowly crept up and tapped Lilith on the shoulder. She turned to me, giving me an odd look.

"Kidnapping kids, Aze?"
"There's a Leviathan in the waters. We should probably deal with it."
"Leviathan? How do you know?"
"This kid's parents got eaten, and she saw it as it swam away. Trust me on this one."
"Ugh. Fine. I'll get them to deal with it. Take the kid up to the town and see if she has any other family."
"Sounds good."

I started off back to the town, using my wings to fly small distances to maintain the mortal's well-being. Right as I got out of earshot, I heard the sounds of combat start up. It made me nostalgic. Suddenly, the girl stirred. Seemed I hadn't used enough force. She looked up at me, confused, and then her eyes opened wide as golf balls as her eyes trailed to my wings. Great.

"A-Are you an angel? Am I dead?"
"No and no. Shut up."
"Then... What are you?"
"None of your business. Didn't your parents ever tell you to introduce yourself first before asking other's names?"
"Oh, uh! My name's Nina. Now answer my question."
"Stubborn brat. Call me Simon."
"I didn't ask your name! What are you? People don't have wings."
"Ugh. I'm an angel. Happy?"
"I knew it! Are you my guardian angel?"
"YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD. Sleep."

I put her back to sleep. I never did like small children. And to think, I thought for a second I thought I might get some peace and quiet.

"That was a bit harsh, Grim."
"Shouldn't you be fighting, soldier boy?"
"A soldier is nothing without a general. I came up here to ask you the same question."
"I'm taking the kid to find her relatives."
"That's a :red:ty excuse. You're the only person I know who loves to fight as much as I do. More, even."
"I don't fight anymore. You know this."
"Sure, but it's still not like you. I should probably get back to the fight, then. Seems I'm not going to get much further with you."
"Good idea."

As he walked away, I pushed off in the other direction, feeling the air on my wings. Felt good. Now, I could've actually searched for her relatives, but I was running low on time for an important meeting. So I did the next best thing: I found an police station, casually walked up to the front desk, laid the girl down, and disappeared. I'd send someone down to clear up any memories that shouldn't be there later. Until then, I had somewhere to be. The others could handle the Leviathan.

End of Chapter 5
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Grim dislikes mortals. And everything else.
I don't think Grim likes anything XD
 
Flashbacks are fun.
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Chapter 6
I slithered in through the gates, my silver scales glistening under the beautiful midday sun. I glided over the grass, breathing in the fragrant odors of the flowers that grew all about the place. But my destination was the large tree, where my two friends awaited. I darted up, flickering into a human form in front of Eve. Adam was nowhere to be seen, but I figured I'd have a talk with her while we waited.

"'Ello, Eve. Where's Adam?"

"Out scavenging for some food for tonight. What's up, Aze?"
"Ah, not much. Business as usual. Lucifer's keeping me busy."
"You angels are all work, no play. Speaking of work, I hope Adam gets back soon."
I glanced up, raising an eye at the numerous large fruits hanging from the massive tree. "Why not just eat one of those?"
"Forbidden. I don't know why, but He forbids it."
My eyebrow raised higher, and with a beat of my wings I flew up and plucked one, landing down softly and offering it to her. "C'mon. Father's always making silly rules, one little bite can't hurt. I won't tell, promise."

Slowly, she took it from my hand, and took a slow, careful bite. Her eyes opened wide, and she looked at me with an odd expression on her face.

"I think... I think you should go."
"Huh? Why?"
"Azazel, go! Before... Just go!"

With that, she scampered off. I couldn't help but to feel confused and a little abandoned. I darted off, flickering back into a serpent, and vanished.

-An eternity later.-

I settled down on a nearby rooftop, looking at the glittering and shining forest of buildings of steel and glass. I hated cities. A whole bunch of shiny trees that pump sickness into the air. Mortals always hadn't been like this. What we needed was a new Flood. But The Man Upstairs had forbidden the use of the only thing I could consider a good idea on his part. But I had a mission tonight. The damned Angels wanted me to check up on a particular mortal that had a good deal of potential to be an enemy. I doubted ol' Laz would turn against anyone, but the Angels are a bunch of control freaks. I hopped from building to building, observing the streets below. Something about tonight was bringing up old memories.

I screamed as my older brother was pulled down by Michael and the other Archangels. They were trying to force him through the Pearly Gates, but I didn't know why. I tried to rush forward and help him, but the others held me back. It soon became clear that Lucifer was fighting a losing battle. He was on the other side, and they were slowly pushing the doors shut on him. Just before I heard a big "Clang!" announcing my brother's exile, I heard his voice. Not in my ears, but in the very soul.

Azazel. Don't worry. I wasn't going to let them throw you out like they did Adam and Eve, so I covered for you. Keep on His good side for me, will you?

As the last glimpses of him fell through the clouds, the angels released me. At first I was unsure, my loyalties split. On one hand, there was my brother and my two closest friends, and then there was my Father, the Creator. But Lucifer's last words spoke to me. He hadn't deserved to be tossed down to Hell for what I had done. And so, I flickered into a snake, and dashed forth. The Angels dashed at me, and Michael almost grabbed me, but I slipped through his fingers. I slid through the Gate, returning to my angel form and felt the rush of air on my wings. And then I turned my eyes downward, toward my brother, who was falling faster and faster. I angled my wings downward, slipping through the air toward him. He gave me a look, warning me away, but I knew where my loyalties laid. As the Earth broke apart and Hell welcomed him, I slipped into the cracks along with him.

I shook the memory away. I was Lazarus's doorstep, and I knocked three times. A shortish man who would appear to be in his forties opened the door, and his face lit up.

"Grim! It's good to see you again."
"Hey there, Laz. Here on official business."
"Of course. Do you do anything other than work these days?"
"Not really. How you holding up?"
"Well, of course. If anything happens, it clears up on Tuesday. You know."
"Having fun with the mortals?"
"As much fun as a doctor can have. Anything you need?"
"I think I have what I came for. See you later."

With that, I shot off again. One of these days, I'd have to have a proper conversation with Laz. But not today, I had an appointment. I briefly hovered in front of the moon, stretching my wings out, and disappeared into the darkness.

End of Chapter 6
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Bit more serious chapter, but we got some backstory.
 
Alright, had to get around to this eventually.
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Chapter 7
I glared at Lilith. She gave a me soft, and terribly sarcastic smile. We were sitting in a mortal restaurant, trying to blend it. Personally, I didn't think it was working. Lilith had decided to wear one of her big, flowing gowns and I was my regular overdressed mortal self. I could feel the stares on my back. Stupid mortals, never minding their own business.

"So, why did you think it was a good idea to drag me out here?"

"I just want to talk. I have Big Red's permission to keep you for a few hours, you're not going anywhere."
"Dammit. Fine. Blabber away, then."
"Aze, you should brighten up. You've never been the same after what happened."
"Yeah, no duh. If that's all you have to say, this is a waste of bot our times."
"Why don't you warm up? The Sins and the Four aren't that bad, y'know."
"Can we talk about something reasonable, please?"
"Y'know Grim, I wish you'd let yourself give us another try."
"We both know all the reasons that can't happen."
"No, we both know all the silly reasons you refuse to even consider it."
"Bah. Same thing."
"Not really. But I'm not here to argue with you. I have something."

She pulled something out of her robe, a small pot with a tiny plant just barely poking out of the soil. She laid it down, patted me on the shoulder and walked off without another word. I glared at the plant for a moment. It almost seemed to stare back at me, needlessly cheerful. I glared at it harder.

"Tamar. Scum of the forest."

With that, I tucked it into my coat and stalked off. I got outside just in time to see Lilith don her wings and vanish. As I grunted discontentedly, I heard a voice behind me.

"What a :red:, huh? You deserve better, bud."

Raising a single middle finger at her, I unfurled my wings and took to the sky. No idea what Lust was doing in the mortal realm without a chaperon, but who cares? I vanished with a flash of my wings leaving the mortal realm to its miserable stink.

End of Chapter 7
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Grim's kinda an :red:, huh? I love him.
 
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Chapter 8
I grunted as the train was rocked to one side, causing Gluttony to drop him cake and as a result cry like a baby. I pulled my scythe closer, sending a nasty glare through the room. Unable to stand proximity to the children, I got up and walked to the balcony behind the car, sitting down and watching the road trail on behind me. The sound of the door reopening and shutting earned an audible groan from me, but a voice stopped me from relocating again.

"Relax, Grim. Just me."
"Ugh. What is it this time?"
"Just wondering what we're doing this time."
"Honestly? No idea. 'Parantly something's going on and Big Red won't let me investigate by myself."
"Really? That's odd, I won't lie."
"And annoying. You don't know the half of it."
"Still, I wonder. He knows you're strong. Does that mean that whatever's going on is a big deal?"
"If it is, I wish he'd tell me. Not really enjoying having to go into this blind."
"Don't worry. I'll cover you, and the others ain't bad in a fight either."
"I'm sure I can handle myself."

He nodded, and headed back inside. I pulled Tamar out of my pocket, glaring at it a moment. Then I put him away as I heard the train's brakes screech, and the vehicle halted. We had arrived. We all filed into the large building in front of us, slowly spreading out through the front room. It looked to be some kind of old factory, probably abandoned upon becoming obsolete.

"Alright, if you see anything noteworthy, tell me."

And then we all headed off, picking through years of dust. Eventually I noticed a cellar door, and knelt down beside it. A rusty padlock was resting on the latch, denying me entry.

"Hey, Grim! We getting paid for this?"

I ignored him, slamming my fist into the door, leaving it swinging open. I slowly climbed down the rusty ladder into the dark space below. Dark for mortals, that is. Not much was down here, a few pieces of furniture and some storage containers, but one thing did catch my attention: A small door, about three feet tall, with an odd symbol painted on with white paint. I knocked on it, not surprised when nothing happened. I gave it a tap with my scythe, causing a shock of sparks. Interesting. I tried the handle, testing the strength of the locking enchantment. Strong. Much stronger than your run of the mill rouge demon. Well, I wasn't getting through it without proper preparation, so I climbed out, called the Sins and the Four from the argument they were yelling at each other about, and we departed to report to Big Red.

End of Chapter 8
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Things

 
Inter-dimensional Demon Janitors!
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Chapter 9
Having returned to the building with some materials, I knelt down beside the odd door. I slowly tapped the Skeleton Key against the symbol, which drew out a loud groan from the door, but did not allow entry. Muttering a short curse that could kill any mortal within three feet of me, I slammed my fist into the door. And then again. And again. When it stubbornly stayed in place, I dug my fingertips into the frame, and tugged. With one final great heave, the door popped off the hinges, and I tossed it over my shoulder. Ducking into the small space, I grunted at the heavy amount of trace magic in the air. Something very old and powerful lived down here. I stepped out into a wide room of stone brick, filled with various pieces of furniture and decor. In the middle of the room, toting a mop, was a thin sickly looking demon in a ragged red jacket and blue pants. His skin was covered in long scars, and his face had a mask made of bark covering it. He looked at me with hollow holes of eyes, so I spoke.

"You! What're you doing here?"

"I could easily ask the same of you, bub. Get out of here before Boss comes home and whups both of our asses."
"Hmph. What's your name?"
"Patchy, you punk. Stop asking so many questions."
"I don't have time for this. Where's your boss?"
"I don't have time for you, Skull-:red:. Get off my freshly mopped floor."
"Do you even have any idea who I am?"
"Sure, Azazel. Now, do you know who I am?"
"Some lowly imp named Patches."

He chuckled to himself, waving me off. I stepped up to him, grabbing him by the neck and raising him up.

"Boss. Now."

He only chuckled more, raising his arm to point behind him. I turned my head, only to realize I'd fallen for the oldest trick in the book. I felt a sharp blow to my head, and Patchy slipped out of my fingers. I swirled around, prepared to kill the insolent demon, but he was gone. In his place, a voice sounded from behind me.

"Ah, Grim. You've arrived. Good."

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For those of you who don't who Patchy is:
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Sorry for the long delay, but I've finally gotten a schedule figured out.
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Chapter 10
The voice sent a chill down my back, and that's not an easy thing to do, trust me. I whirled around to find the source of it, but there was nothing there. The voice kept going, though.

"I see you finally found your way to my cozy little home. My apologies, but it seems I can't stay to entertain you. Can't leave you here with all my things, either. So you'll excuse me when I do this."

Before I could question what he meant, the door I had entered through clanged shut and an ominous rumbling sound filled the bunker. Great. I tried the door just to be sure, and it was locked down even tighter than it had been the first time, and I didn't have a skeleton key this time around. The sound of shattering stone alerted me to the fact that the bricks making up the walls and ceiling were coming down. I was going to have to move fast. I pulled out my scythe and sent out an experimental slash, grunting in frustration when it merely bounced off the protective enchantment covering the bunker. Just barely dodging a chunk of falling rock, I gripped my scythe with both hands and muttered a prayer. Not a prayer to God as the mortals have, but a different kind altogether. I whispered the final verse of the accursed mantra and raised my weapon to the sky. Darkness rose around me, rebounding off the protective spell but coming back to slowly worm its way into the bricks.

Finally, the spell succeeded and I sat in a small safe spot that no stones would fall on. Nor would all the earth above it, hopefully. It seemed the spell worked, and as tons of earth came crashing down, it merely redirected. At the end, I was standing in the middle of a very deep hole. I stretched out my wings and flew upward, not the least bit shocked to see that I was far away from the abandoned building. Damn portal gates. As I looked around to figure out just where in the world I was, my spell broke and all the rock tumbled in to fill the gap, removing whatever lead had been in the bunker.

End of Chapter 10
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I like Grim doing magic. Grim Magic is fun.
 
Yeah, updates to my stories are slowing considerably. I'm going to rush DF's plot a little, mostly because I don't want to spend forever on little stuff or just call it off completely.
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Chapter 11
~18 years later~

I looked at the woman in front of me blankly. She was human, but was gaping at me moronically. None of the other humans were doing so, so there wasn't anything wrong with my glamour. I limped my way over, leaning convincingly on my cane. Without a second of warning, she grabbed my arm and pulled me away to an abandoned building. I was convinced she was a lunatic. I prepared my scythe, knowing that Big Red wouldn't mind me doing away with a crazy little mortal.

"You are real! I knew it!"

I gave her a dull look. She was beaming up at me from behind a pair of large glasses, seemingly just barely able to contain her excitement. I'd never seen her before.

"Ahuh. And who are you?"

For a second, her smile faltered. I raised an eyebrow, quickly losing patience.

"It's me, Nina! At least, that's what I went by when we met! I'm just N. now, much cooler. Oh, but you might not remember me! You told me you were my guardian angel, but now I know."

I still had not a clue who she was.

"Now you know what? I'm losing patience, mortal."

"You're an alien!"
I sighed, heavily. "Uhuh. And who told you that?"
"I figured it out myself! You can fly, you beat that giant monster fish, and you came out of nowhere! It's obvious!"

I didn't even bother to refute these claims verbally. Instead, I peeled back my glamour, allowing my skull to shine, and my wings twisted their shape out of the shadows. Her jaw dropped open, and her glasses fell off her head.

"Y-You're... a..."
"I'm a thing most people aren't excited about meeting. Now, if you could leave me alone, that would be nice. I'll have someone along to wipe your memory soon."
"H-Hey! You can't do that!"
"Yeah, and why not?"
"...Because I said so!"

I called my glamour off, allowing my true form to shine through. Her face was illuminated by a wicked light, and I rose to my full height of near ten feet, my wings stretching from one side of the building to the other. I raised my scythe, holding the end of it mere inches from her face.

"AND WHO ARE YOU, TO GIVE ME, THE GRIM REAPER OF DAMNED SOULS, ORDERS?"

Tears started to leak down her face, and her lower lip trembled. The very force of my voice shattered her glasses, and she dropped to her knees, blubbering. I slammed my scythe to the floor, reassuming my glamour and slowly walking out of the building. It felt good to know I could still reduce a mortal to tears without even trying.

End of Chapter
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