Defend Yourself!

Each person accuses the poster after them of a crime (serious or otherwise). The next person defends him/herself and accuses the next person of a crime. Please try to be creative when responding; it gets boring quickly if you don't.

Example
Person 1:
I accuse the NP (next poster) of breaking and entering my home!
Person 2:
I couldn't help it! Everything was so shiny!
I accuse the NP of lying about the cake.
Person 3:
Objection! It was opposite day!
I accuse the NP of breaking my computer!
Person 4:
In my defense, I was told deleting System32 would make it faster...
I accuse the NP of eating my cookies!

This should explain what's going on here.
 
I don't even have access to caffeine! I'm a dog!

I accuse NP of doing a quadruple front flip into a pool of ice cold Pepsi.
 
Guilty as charged. On THOUSANDS of occasions.

I accuse the NP of making the world both evil and bloody. (Meaning you put both Corruption and Crimson in one world seed.)
[doublepost=1497463647,1497463576][/doublepost]
Sorry, I chose to do Genocide, and you were one of the first on my list.
The NP was supposed to comment first.
Side Comment! Yay!
The way I actually imagined my Genocide run fight going is that I would actually be the last thing in your way.
I'm actually still working on that sprite!
 
Guilty as charged. On THOUSANDS of occasions.

I accuse the NP of making the world both evil and bloody. (Meaning you put both Corruption and Crimson in one world seed.)
[doublepost=1497463647,1497463576][/doublepost]
Side Comment! Yay!
The way I actually imagined my Genocide run fight going is that I would actually be the last thing in your way.
I'm actually still working on that sprite!
I have to get all the achievements.
The NP started to make unbelievable achievements.
 
Having to kill 9999 dungeon guardians at the exact same second is not an unbelievable achievement.

I accuse NP of buying the cheapest shed they could find to use as a home.
 
Do i look like i could buy even 1 out

I accuse NP of stuff that can't be revealed or you'd have to be killed.
 
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