YveltalGaming
Spazmatism
- CHARGES -
The Mage: 1/25
- - - - - - - -
+1 @TrickleJest
+1 @Thartler
- - - - - - - -
I consider changing alignment.
I am now AG.
GODMODDER: Nah. It's just gonna get worse and worse, might as well keep on trying."Yes, yes, it is a bit one sided at the moment."
"Let's see what we can do about that."
A bright light appears above me and maneuvers to the S-Mech, where it promptly explodes.
"Good enough?"
You enter the game, and split your action a lot of different ways! First, you create a pile of Trump steaks, which the Godmodder begins to feast upon. It's not cannibalism because reptilian isn't human, of course! You still leave two Trump steaks there. Next, you make your allies happier! Finally, you deal 6,000 damage to the Z-MECH![AG]
I step onto the field, still giggling from my other...actions far far away in RP Nation, or someplace rather close. Hands smeared with donuts, I summon down a few more boxes and sit down, before pulling out all the jelly ones and arranging them into a pentagon, then a star within the pentagon. Chanting, I summon down a donut revolver.
No! This isn't what I wanted! I wanted the Black Magnum and the White Magnum! Drat! Well, this'll do for now...what's with me and donuts recently anyways?
I raise the gun and fire a high speed donut packed with a crude nuclear explosive device that has the nuclear fallout radius of one donut, which centers all the radiation and heat on one area. This shot is fired at the S-Mech Mk .I.
"Eat some of that, robot ! Oversized C-3P0! Filthy borg! Omnic!"
I need to stop.
But wait! What's this! Someone posted about Donald Trump!? I must post somehting rather presidential in this edit! Therefore, I the nuclear donut explosion that is rather small sends Trump Steaks everywhere that can be picked up later in the battle to restore health if it's needed. These steaks will apply to non-hostile entities as well, but not evil entities or entities that have no side. They also taste like trash, but I guess you can choke them down if you're about to die.
Finally, the conspiracy theorists of the midwest start raving about how the CIA started the Syrian Civil War, which allows me to rechannel anger and fear into the donut explosion. With the big boom comes a whole lot of swear words aimed toward the CIA. These swears are not only harmful toward hostiles, but boost your morale! Nothing like a barrage of "s!"
Far away, Dr. McNinja grabs his phone. He must come to the aid of the user who reads many ty webcomics, but not Homestuck, because that would be garbage. No one needs more homestuck on this battlefield. Though Crockercorp foods sure are great...
At the same time, deep underground in a secret bunker on Mars, Bruce Lee sits on a golden throne, next to the cure for cancer. Grumbling, he awakens from his sleep to hear the chiming of his blasted phone. The cellular service bills here are absolutely atrocious. Anyways, he picks up the phone and reads the message, before standing up and injecting himself with a bunch of roids. Saying goodbye to his wife, Kung-Fu panda, he jumps off Mars and rockets toward Earth, smashing into the ISS and a Russian Satellite on the way. With a crash, he lands on the battlefield and sends up a massive cloud of dust and dirt. Pieces of the crust fly into the air as everyone hears faint Chinese chanting. Bruce Lee summons a mystical Chinese dragon that smashes into a random mech before exploding into a barrage of fireworks. However, he is suddenly recalled by the Spirit of Lucifer, leader of the Illuminati and Juicebox Nation.
"We have plans for you, Bruce Lee."
You extend your HP bar, and accidentally rip part of it open. You fall to the floor, expunging pink bile, and take 1 damage. Uh oh. That PINK BILE around you is the same time you get when you create a Bad Entity. I don't know what just happened, it shouldn't have any permanent effects, but that looks very UNHEALTHY, and UNHEALTHINESS is bad. That's what the corporate gods told me, anyway."Hm. Only 2 hitpoints?"
"If I am to do my job, I'll need more than that."
I extend my arm in a flourish, extending my HP bar to 20.
"Much better."
You deal 13,000 damage to the Z-MECH! I'll note that you can't do two assists to the same person in a single post, it might be a good idea to spread them out!"gorilla."
The tank's barrel starts glowing yellow.
"TASTE THE SUUUUUUUUN!"
The tank fires a really really really small giant sun at the Z-MECH. Upon impact, the sun burns out and explodes with passion, creating even crazier space dust in place of the Z-MECH, which just got blown up.
----
Don't Cry...: 3/10 (+1 Thartler)
CRAFT!: 2/10
+2 to Trickle
SUMMARY
I. Revelations: 9/01/13
II. Attack: Donald Trump and the Chronicles of Z-MECH
III. Roleplay: Donald Trump and the Noob Cavalry
September 1st, 2013
The White House
President Obama was peacefully laying on his favorite velvet couch while his family wistfully watched from behind. Nine hours and one minute have passed and the poor president has not risen up. It was now obvious to everyone around him that he was now dead. Not from a heart attack, not from a bullet wound, he simply sat down and was no longer alive. Doctors all around the country swarmed to the house to find out what exactly killed the president, but nobody could truly figure it out. His heart stopped beating, his brain stopped operating, yet this was a truly unique case. He was simply dead and that was the end of the story. People have suspected that it was stress that somehow ended him, for the United States of America have been under heavy attack from the Union of Establishmentarian Societies.
It wasn't so long ago that the president was informed of the existence of the Establishment. It was a secret that he would have to take to his grave, the fact that the alleged puppeteers of society truly did exist under the being of multiple god-like creatures, the Grand Council of the Establishment. Obviously, every organized 'society' needs to have a leader, so the Grand Council elected the ghastly and powerful yet fun-loving jokester, His Honorable Ghastliness, the Masque of the Red Death. Although he insisted his fellow Grand Councillors called him Red. A courageous and bold leader, yes, almost every member was happy with his regime. But of course, every group has its rebel, which came in the form of the ominous and dark yet chaotic destroyer, The Raven. She was one of those 'don't tip me over' type of people, even Red was slightly afraid of her. And he was correct to do so, as he was the one that finally tipped her over when he proposed his plan to reveal the Establishment to every single planet under their rule, starting with Earth (the Establishment knew it had a lot of prophecies surrounding it, even if it was not the most advanced of them all).
A war followed. A schism. The Establishment had to split into two parts, and of course, if one revealed itself the other was no longer a mystery. A ruthless war it was, yes, it ended in many deaths, one of those was the unfortunate death of Red. His death was witnessed by his best friend and second-in-command, TrickleJest, who obliterated Raven (who had just murdered Red minutes ago) within seconds due to blind rage before retreating to another planet, full of shame and guilt. The first to reveal themselves became the Union of Establishmentarian Societies (who were simply known as 'Raven's Team' prior) now lead by a ruler much more strict and more ruthless, Planet-Eater Waluigi. The other team, lead by yet another member (they don't stop coming) Reeah Dactud, had to tell the truth to the entire nation. Of course, Planet-Eater Waluigi had to begin attacking the richest and most flourishing country on Earth, which just so happened to be the United States of America. This was the current situation on Earth. Which is to say...
*CLANK*
*CLANK*
"IT WAS NOT GOOD"
Now, the Z-MECH. Time for Hammer Time. That is to say, Donald Trump summons MC Hammer, who generates Hammer Time, which in turn causes a vigintillion hammers to fall on Z-MECH. In fact, the hammers completely flatten out the Z in Z-MECH, making it into a simple _, which makes the Z-MECH a _-MECH. Trump, being the generous man he is, adds another - to the mech, thus making it MECH. Ergo, the mech is now a mech, and is universally the face of being tired of your sh*t. The then hops away from the MECH, tired of its sh*t and the mech just becomes a regular MECH. Regular MECHs are not as powerful as Z-MECHs, and therefore the MECH is quite weak. Very weak. The then returns with a gun and uses the -s as ammo, obliterating the mech completely. The remaining _ is slipped over the mech and since paper beats rock, _ beats mech (the _ here is something similar to paper) and ergo the mech is completely d_stroyed.
Obviously, this isn't enough to sate Donald Trump, so he must use his special move... BING BING BONG! However, it turns out that BING = - and BONG = _, therefore BING BING BONG is yet another if rearranged, thus repeating the cycle over and over again for a vigintillion times, all while MC Hammer creates another tune to listen to. MC Hammer will be here for a while. Staring. Waiting. For the perfect hammer time. "Patience is key. Not yet." He ushers Trump, who is getting impatient. "Hammer Time is a special time. It does not come whenever I want it to- Oh, there it goes." A quadrillion more hammers fall onto Trump, who uses the _ as a trampoline to redirect it onto the mech. I could write a book about my uses of _. My _s are the best. No competition. Trump reckons.
No. It was definitely not.
Is it time?
Let's let them think that they are truly in control.
So no. It isn't time. It probably won't be time for a long, long time.
@Battlefury13/Conderp Donald Trump notices the Wallbuilder on the Battlefield and begins planning an approach to the fellow AG. (The Godmodder directed him to the Wallbuilder, but he does not know they are the same person from different realms). Trump simply waves and says hello in an awkward tone, which is probably not something the other Trump is used to. Of course, this Trump is a different Trump and is not as arrogant and wall-builder-ey as the one on the receiving end.
@DathVader Trump lets out a chuckle, a chuckle that means 'you cannot just increase your HP, that's up to the GM.' And slaps Dath on the cheek. Or, if he does not possess a cheek, any other part of his body.
Sad: 8/20 (+1 Battlefury) (+4 Cyan) (+1 Thartler)
Clank: 2/50
+1 to Thartler, +1 to Cyan
THE WAITING ROOM: 3 Cyans
You float up to the Godmodder. The Godmodder floats up to you, and looks at his script.A dark void opens up above the Battlefield, a figure falling through it. This figure is idenified as [USER] Yveltal, AKA me!
I cough as I land on the Battlefield.
YVELTAL-U: Woah, another DTG game? These are popping up all over the place.
A health bar appears over my head:
[N][AG] Yveltal-U: 2/2 HP.
YVELTAL-U: Hm.. neutral. I've always been AG or GS, but I guess I should try something new.
I pull out a sleek laptop that seems to be.. faintly glowing, and read a page of Homestuck.
I fly up to the Godmodder.
YVELTAL-U: Hey, Godmodder, do you know whether the alchemiter exists here?
While waiting for his answer, I eat a BLT.
The C-MECH takes 17,000 damage! The Godmodder also casually hears of the talks of the Great Wall of Reality, and swings his hammer around. That Great Wall could be something that vaguely annoys him, though a lot of things vaguely annoy him. Even more reason to kill the guy.The Wallbuilder greets Trump, tremendously shaking his hand, escorts Trump into his VIP Wallbuilding center, before pressing a button. Suddenly, a wall piece with exactly 129 machine guns, 20 18.1 inch battleship turrets (so 60 guns), enough anti-aircraft guns to make a aircraft carrier instantly regret existence, and tons of light artillery rises in front of the C-MECH, which identifies the wall as pure death incarnate as a wall, promptly begins to charge it. Alas, the 18.1 inch battleship guns are all loaded with AP, and as it turns out, the C-Mech is heavily armored enough for them to hit the machinery within and detonate without penetrating. Naturally, they fire, YUGE shells coming down on the C-Mech.
The shots fly though the air, while the C-Mech rushes forth, hoping to avoid that. Alas, it's engines are inferior to the Bing Bong Shell Propulsion System employed to fire the shell, and it is forced to face it's fate. Each shell easily penetrates the outer armor of the C-Mech, before coming to rest across the internal machinery of it. Five moments later, they all explode, destroying all that Anti-US machinery. A crane from the wall promptly scavenges the remains of said machinery, and, after cleansing it of the inherent Anti-USness, melts it down and adds it to the scrap reserve of the wall. ( @TrickleJest ) Meanwhile, The Wallbuilder decides to donate one of the massive battleship turrets to his new friend Trump, and praises his prudence and patriotic glory for joining in his quest to bring low The Godmodder, so that the Great Wall of Reality may be extended to those fine lands by the wallbuilder and his compatriots, of whom he assures Trump that they are not only the very best, but are yuge in number and tremendous in strength.
+1 Trickle
2/10 The Great Tremendousness
The Z-MECH takes 13,000 damage, before expunging corruption from its body, all over the place! The Perfectly Generic Object begins to leak, and become less and less generic, as its fabric is corrupted by whatever corruption core resides in the Z-MECH, before the Z-MECH kneels down. It kneels once, kneels twice, before crashing!A dude lands from the sky.
Siebold of Security Squad Twent-
Wait this isn't Germany.
Commander, I'm not in Germany.
Great, another malfunction.
What do you see?
A blocky guy with a weird gauntlet thing. He has a huge hammer and has a maniacal look in his eyes.
Gorilla.
The good news is that you have access to Descendancy.
Descendancy?
The power of creativity. You can make anything happen.
However, since that douche is around, you'll be somewhat limited in what you can do. You can't make or do anything that is blatantly broken.
Also, you're gonna need to get real creative to attack that douche, otherwise your attack will just be blocked.
Seems legit.
1/5 Less Gun
1/10 Gun
1/25 More Gun
Siebold tries to do what Redstone told him and conjures a PGO to throw at the Z-Mech. He does so, the Z-Mech is suprised at first that it is lodged in his body somehow, but forgets about it. This causes the Z-Mech to have massive abdominal failure.
You send the SP-MECH to hell! It returns! You then recreate hell around it via splashing the ground with Molotov cocktails! The SP-MECH catches on fire, and takes 12,000 damage![AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (3/30) (+1 Trickle)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (2/40)
+1 Cyan, +1 Trickle
Once more targetting the punky SP-Mech, I decided to stab it. Now, giving it double the worries, teleporting it to it's worst nightmare - Godmodder destroyed, itself dead. Then I give it more and more nightmares until the time it's really tired of all of those bad dreams, but that means I kill it by FIYAH! Yeah! I grab a molotov annd throw it. Same deal with 665 other Molotovs. SP-mech can burn in hell.
You pnuch sea mech. Sea mech punches you, drags you into the sea, punches you through the C-MECH for 7,000 damage and 1 damage to you!i pnuch sea mech
You hammer the SP-MECH into a cube, and place it near the S-MECH![AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (4/30)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (3/40)
+1 Cyan, +1 Trickle
Once again, I hammer SP-Mech out to change it into cube, which is explosive box. I wire SP-Mech to detonator, place it near S-Mech and Ka-Boom! I then pierce with arrows every fragment of two mechs I see, before redestroying them like a boss.
You do that.[N][AG] Yveltal-U: 2/2 HP.
- CHARGES -
The Mage: 1/25
- - - - - - - -
+1 @TrickleJest
+1 @Thartler
- - - - - - - -
I consider changing alignment.
I am now AG.
it ded[AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (6/30) (+1 Yv)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (4/40)
+1 Yveltal, +1 Trickle
Oooooooooooh, 3 posts? I guess It's time for one more action!
SP-Mech will be RIP the time I shoot it onto blisses of the Old Chronicles of Operator.
I do the Green Massacre, that means - I use every Grass-type move or Nature spells avaliable, all against SP-Mech.
If it died before that post, it's wasted attack.
You prepare a pizza blade, and make it invisible. The Godmodder is completely confuddled by this trick.+1 @Thartler
[AG] Yveltal-U: 2/2 HP.
- CHARGES -
The Mage: 3/25 (+1 from Thartler)
-----
I draw a pizza blade and make it invisible.
[placeholder]
Okay, that's probably too much, but uh, placeholders are banned. I'm just gonna make the rule that the placeholders reduce you to that being your only action for the rule, in addition to nulling your first action next turn. Sorry for any inconvenience.some spammer in a basement said:5. If you make a placeholder post, one that contains nothing but charges and that you intend to edit later, then all of your actions for that turn will be nulled, and your first action for the next turn will also be nulled. You have been warned.
You take the remaining Trump Steaks! +2 Trump Steaks added. I don't know exactly what they do, but it's probably something fun! You dunk the SJ-Mech for 7,000 damage! You then dunk the Godmodder. The Godmodder holds up his fat stacks of cash which make him invulnerable to anything but boss deaths, and hands them over to Michael Jordan and Sans.Awright, let's see...I store away the Trump Steaks so the GM can't get overhealth, before firing another donut shot at the SJ-Mech. Because it's from Dunkin' Donuts, the mech gets dunked on by a horde of Lebron James. Then Micheal Jordan and Sans dunk on the GM by roasting him before slamming him with basketballs. The Illuminati starts to formulate their plans, and I continue to eat donuts.
You rename the SJ-Mech, dealing 6,000 damage! He points out that he can't die of lung because you didn't diagnose him with lung! He diagnoses you with lung!i rename sj mech to sanjay and craig mech
he then dies of lung
You run the C-Mech off the cliff, causing the core in its chest to burst! It begins to destablise, but the C-Mech resurfaces wit-The soldier jumps off the tank, which is now moving. It runs over the C-MECH, then it falls off a cliff, then it explodes, then the cliff collapses, with the C-MECH on it, and basically, it's screwed.
----
Don't Cry...: 4/10
CRAFT!: 6/10 (+3 guys)
+1 to Trickle, +1 to Jon
h a series of stab wounds, and a thick coating of lava. The core rapidly destablises, before exploding! C-MECH downed![AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (8/30) (+1 Yv)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (5/40)
+1 Yveltal, +1 Trickle
C-Mech would probably survive... Not if I were to kill it too! Before tank runs over C-MECH, I stab it and leave 22 knives to multiply damage made by tank. and then I fill C-Mech with Lava, to also multiply damage. And then, after it melted, the things happen, but then an inception happens and it gets overrun by vikings.
The C-MECH has been destroyed! Your pizza blade remains intact but sort of eaten. The Godmodder uses his cool and new allsight to watch Bill Cipher.+1 @Thartler
[AG] Yveltal-U: 2/2 HP.
- CHARGES -
The Mage: 5/25 (+1 from Thartler)
- ALCHEMITER - (?)
Nepeta's Claw Gloves && Dart Rifle = Claw Propelling Gloves (1/?)
A pair of black, leather gloves with a metal contraption attached to them that contain retractable steel claws. These can be used normally as claws, but can also be propelled at high velocity as a deadly ranged weapon. Their accuracy is questionable, though. There are 3 claw holes in the contraption, and they will need to be reloaded after every time the claws are propelled.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
YVELTAL-U: Huh. Ok.
I appearify some wings and fly away, retrieving my now-invisible pizza blade. I take a bite out of it, before attaching an explosive to it, and gliding to C-Mech. There, I throw it at any openings on it, and take off again. The pizza blade then explodes in a few seconds. I pick up a metal feather and sling it into the distance, hoping it will hit something.
Hey, look! A random chunk of adamantium! I pick it up.
Meanwhile...
Miles away, but not many...
A figure, dressed in a hooded blue robe, walks next to another hooded person, this one in red robes, with a single eye painted onto the top of his hood.
???: Really? Did you HAVE to lose that chunk of adamantium?! It was our last batch!
???: Sorry bos- hey, look, what's that?
A yellow, triangular being appears at their appearifier. He wears a black top hat and bowtie, with a single eye in the center of his two-dimensional body.
He howls in laughter.
BILL CIPHER?: Finally! I have waited millennia to return to the mortal world!
[AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (10/30) (+1 Yv)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (6/40)
Alchemies/Crafts/Whatever else it is:
Nooooooooone. For now.
+1 Yveltal, +1 Trickle
Since when was SJ on control? I decide to drag it to end. First, it decided to make Trickle dunked on, second, it's the cause why GM is somewhat alive.
Hmm, I Stab it... with Real Knife, seeing how it's like Sans. Then, by power of unknown, I flood SJ-Mech by random trash information.
Then, by the time it's overloaded, I shoot an arrow in it's knee, because arrows totally break the Attack Scale. A lot.
And, if it tries to remove it, I shoot second arrow on the knee. Because if it has both arrows on the knee, it's as useful as a pile of rubbish.
Oh, and then I stabbity stab SJ-Mech again.
10,000 damage!2/5 Less Gun
2/10 Gun
2/25 More Gun
Siebold creates a flamethrower and sets the C-Mech alight. The fire is redirected to the SJ-Mech if the C-Mech is already dead.
You reuse, reduce, and recycle the SJ-MECH, dealing 15,000 damage![AG]
Stats:
HP: (II)
Charges:
Quest for Glory: (11/30)
The Light of New Chronicles of Anti-Godmodders: (7/40)
+1 Yveltal, +1 Trickle
Given the one thing - Kill or be Killed, I make it go into SJ-Mech cause. I casually swing the knife from one edge to second edge to it and viceversa. By time it's just like LAYS Chips like, but metalic, I 'feed' these to metal recycler. But metal recycler is giant bottle of metal melting acid. Then, molten metal is contamined and reshaped onto metal box. Then I explode it again, using Snowman Launcher.
You dig a hole, and set up a basic trap.[AG]
Health: 2/2
Entering the game, I take action by digging a hole, filling said hole with lava, cover it up, place a pressure plate on the hole, and wire it up using actuators, effectivly creating a dangerous trap in the battlefield that anyone could fall into. I'll charge up a healing spell in case the victim is an ally.
The SJ-Mech looks at #morethanjustarefugee's comment section, and is corrupted to the side of the AGs! The Godmodder looks at the SJ-Mech, you kind of write it into suffering crippling depression, and the SJ-Mech just shuts down for a bit. It breaks into a sobbing wreck in the floor, curls up into the ball that all Godmodder mechs initially form as, before rolling, and rolling, and rolling, and falling into Murphmario's hole!The Wallbuilder exposes the SJ-Mech to #morethanjustarefugee's comments section and dislike-like ratio. Moments later, it comes back, a fanatic worshipper of the Wallbuilder and Trump. It then realizes both are it's enemies, suffers crippling depression and then nukes it's self.
+1 Trickle
3/10 The Great Tremendousness