Help meeh!

[Lynx]

So I've been struggling to compose something prett ymuch relevant for my style of singing.It'll be basically a rock-hip-hop combination. I'll give you something to start from. I want you guys to help me continue the song.

[Beginning - ballad style]
When you'd wrap your arms around my neck
I felt like I'm in Heaven
When you'd frown and tears would fall again
I promissed I'd be there for you

[Pre-chorus]
but now I'm gone
And I'm never coming back for you

[Hip-hop verse pl0x] !

Feel free to criticize,correct any grammar mistake and express your opinion. Let's make something big :O

 

[Kaio]

I don't know, I'm very ignorant about music, composition and stuff. My arts area is drawing.
When I have no ideas to draw, I look to my heart and think what I feel in a abstract or representative way. When this doesn't work, I do the same with other people. Try to use representative and abstract terms, like comparative verses to objects or the way that things happens.

I hope I helped in some way...

 

[Lynx]

Trust me I tried everything I could. Me being a rock person,I don't really understand hip-hop/rap or w/e. Not the way it's structured. I go for pure feels and leave rhymes behind. That's why I can't get inspired in what means Rap.

 

[kybagames]

When you'd wrap your arms around my neck
I felt like I'm in Heaven
When you'd frown and tears would fall again
I promissed I'd be there for you

I can't really help you out song-wise, but I can help out with grammar (I'm kinda a stickler about grammar). I could explain everything in detail if you'd like, but I'll just show you what it's supposed to look like.

When you'd wrap your arms around my neck
I'd feel like I'm in Heaven
When you'd frown and tears would fall again
I'd promise I'd be there for you

Hope it helped!

 

[Lynx]

Thanks alot .