"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together, because the letter U should be higher up in the alphabet. No, I don't care about you; why would I? Some people just seem to think it's all about them.
There was a doctor and a patient.
Doctor: I have bad news and very bad news.
Patient: What is the bad news?
Doctor: You only have 24 hours to live.
Patient: Nothing is worse than that! What is the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been waiting to tell you since yesterday.