Joke making thread

Music and musician jokes, yay! (I play drums, keyboards, guitar, bass, etc. so it's okay for me to tell these.)

Q: What do you say to a drummer in a suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise…"

Q: What are the three most difficult years of a bass player's life?
A: Fifth grade.

Q: How many guitars does a guitarist really need?
A: Just one more.

Q: How do you get a keyboard player off your front porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: What is the range of the clarinet?
A: About thirty yards if you have a good throwing arm.
 
"Honey, can you take out the trash?"
"Sure mom." the son heads out to a pile of trash and reaches into his pocket.
It's a gun. He slowly points it at an empty bag of Doritos on the very tip of the pile. "You're going down, scum."
 
My teacher : "Did you know that Michal Jackson is still singing holographically"
Me: "does he still touch kids"
My teacher who didn't hear me: "Yes!"
 
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