Joke making thread

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together, because the letter U should be higher up in the alphabet. No, I don't care about you; why would I? Some people just seem to think it's all about them.
 
Yes and no, it depends what kind of salt, but generally NaCl with some iodine thrown in(table salt, sea salt has its own weird mix depending on where its from)
 
anyways
There was a doctor and a patient.
Doctor: I have bad news and very bad news.
Patient: What is the bad news?
Doctor: You only have 24 hours to live.
Patient: Nothing is worse than that! What is the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been waiting to tell you since yesterday.
 
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