Joke Player suggestion Thread

May I remind everyone that purposely misspelling a post doesn't make it funny, just hard to read. It would also be nice if more posts had some semblance of reality, like this:
crackshotCerberus said:
Extra Sharp Cheddar
Damage: 17
Knockback: 3
Use time: 10

It is a short sword that looks like a wedge of cheese.
Click to expand...
Rather than 10-digit stats.

Anyways:

Extra-Large bug net:
Makes non-boss enemies capturable like critters. Crafted with a bug net and a stack of cobwebs.
 
Corn Clobber
damage: 21
knockback: 2.5
use time: 14
A spear that looks like a corn plant, successful attacks cause a burst of 2-3 corn kernels. Cause 3-5 popcorn projectiles when combined with a magma stone, flash of fire, or when hitting a enemy inflicted by the On Fire! debuff.
 
Ankh Seal
300 ranged damage
8 knockback
3 use time
Dropped by Golem, 0.01%
Shoots powerful golden (or dark blue) ankhs at foes
Uses Ankh Charms as ammo, which add 170 ranged damage. Ankh Shields make the ankhs dark blue and inflict On Fire!
 
Enchanted Gunnerang
1 flintlock Pistol
1 enchanted boomerang
1 Illegal gun part

Tooltip: you're doing it wrong

Damage: 16 melee for boomerang, 12 ranged for the gun firing.

Knockback: 6

Velocity: 10

Use time: 14

The gun fires once per time you throw it. It fires when it hits a wall or enemy. It is difficult to aim the bullet because the weapon spins mid flight. It does take ammo for the gun to fire.
 
Doritos
Recovers all of your health and with no Potion Sickness debuff
Increases your melee, ranged and magic damage by 10000%
All normal mobs run away from you

Mountain Dew
Increases movement speed by 10000000%
Chances of getting drops from enemies go to 10000%
1337 defense
-100% mana cost
 
Firearrow15 said:
It would also be nice if more posts had some semblance of reality, like this:
Click to expand...
The reason for me actually having stats for these was that they were going to be actual suggestions from me but I ended up scrapping the plans. The enchanted gunnerang had an upgrade using a Phoenix blaster and 10 hellstone bars.
 
Blue Screen of Death
2aSNBXm.png

"Guess your stuck."
Consumable Item
Freezes you in place for 3 in game day and night cycles.
 
Seems to me a good lot of these 'joke suggestions' have misspelled names, because that's apparently humorous.

Bluebeard's Musket:

Damage: We're not certain.
Tooltip: You're... you're pretty much dead.

<-thumbs up->
 
DVD Wings
Wings that look like a pair of DVDs. Nothing else to explain.
Tooltip: Don't scratch them!

Bowling Ball
Throwable weapon, when thrown it works exactly like a Staff of Earth boulder, but it drops as an item that can be picked up again instead of disappearing.
 
Destroyer Spear
It is a spear that looks like a few shrunken segments of the destroyer.

Damage: 45
Knockback: 6
Use Time: 35
Velocity: 7

It has a 20% chance to release a small probe that fires 5 times before disappearing.

Created with 12 hallowed bars and 15 souls of might.
 
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