Kill the Above Poster with the Weapon They Give You

The headline reads: BREAKING NEWS! ONLINE USER BY THE NAME 'FIREWING' FOUND DEAD THIS MORNING!

A computer mouse that looks like a living mouse.
 
I sand you to a desert, full of sand. sand. sand. sand. You get the idea. sand. sand. You try to hydrate yourself by drinking some water from a nearby oasis, but it was just pure sand. sand. And now your whole body is filled with sand. sand. You die, but at least you're now a Marvel villain. sand. sand.

An approximation in engineering
 
By rounding Pi to 3.14 and creating a rocket using this approximation, I have failed to create a safe rocket. By placing you inside this rocket, you are killed by several failures and the fact it was not a rocket but actually a bomb trap, which was also made using approximations.

1 singular molecule of water
 
'T' stands for the Bri'ish empire, and they were not so fond of you stealing their T. They kindly sent you to France, where you were treated like royalty (death by guillotine)

Seedless watermelons
 
((I hate that I understand that joke lol))

It’s still plenty sense enough to kill you when dropped on your head from 20 feet in the air… :red:, I dropped you on the watermelon instead of the other way around.

My watch.
 
Your watch is somehow pointing at the 25th hour, breaking the laws of time and space. The Universe sees this as a threat to the balance of reality, so it deleted both you and your watch.

The Angler.
 
I give you a hearty whack in the head using the butt of the gun.
Jokes on you, I don’t have a head
I sand you to a desert, full of sand. sand. sand. sand. You get the idea. sand. sand. You try to hydrate yourself by drinking some water from a nearby oasis, but it was just pure sand. sand. And now your whole body is filled with sand. sand. You die, but at least you're now a Marvel villain. sand. sand.
”I don”t like sand… It’s coarse, rough, it has many edge”
I break it over your head

A single atom of hydrogen
 
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