Kill the Above Poster with the Weapon They Give You

You saw a great light in the sky, and you noticed that it's actually the Sun's supernova. Why so early? Well it doesn't matter, 1 millisecond later you're dead.

A pickaxe.
 
i mount the light to a spotlight. I shine it right into the cockpit of an airliner, and it crashes right into your house. luckily, you survive. but your insurance premiums go through the roof. you struggle to make ends meet and ultimately end up on the streets. but thanks to online manipula- GODDAMNIT SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT
alright lets see what the new one i- a pickaxe.

ok assuming the pickaxe is like on terraria rules, i use the pickaxe to make all of your property disappear overnight. it becomes a story on local news, and then CNN. online disinformation causes the public to start to think that you faked the whole thing for attention, and protestors arrive outside your.... """home""" to protest you. several attempts are made at your life, but you narrowly escape all of them, as someone always ends up saving you. one day, you meet the someone. I invite you to my home. homeless, you accept. I then use the pickaxe again to steal a nuke and then plant it in my own home. I detonate it, killing thousands and inciting another political inferno upon the world


an axe
 
I chopped down a tree and told the forest rangers that you chopped it. They got tired of people keeps on chopping their trees down so they just shot you to death.
(Also, I think you might want to understand the format of this forum, you can only respond to one of the weapons we gave you)

My bird in my profile picture.
 
I will forever approach this thread with the intent of "make the absolute most convoluted death possible". one day i will make a :red:ing short story as a post here

I crush the bird with my bare hands, killing it instantly. this sends you into shock, and subsequently into a depressive bout as you miss your pet bird. this evolves into an alchoholism problem, and eventually you drink and drive, and as such you hit someone. you survive because something about drunk drivers being able to survive being flung around more. the person you hit, however, was an avid bird fan taking home a beautiful parakeet. grief overfloods you now, as both the fan and the parakeet were not as luckly. it becomes too much, and you regress into a husk of yourself, almost completely uninteractive. I return, and cut you several times with the now-rotting corpse of your beloved bird, giving you several infections that you dont bother going to get treated, which ultimately kills you


ok so like, you know the smart pistol from titanfall 2? that except the bullets go AROUND the locked on target instead of AT the target. and also your commander keeps setting its IFF system to act as if its a smart pistol instead of the dumb pistol
 
Orifan1 said:
I will forever approach this thread with the intent of "make the absolute most convoluted death possible". one day i will make a :red:ing short story as a post here

I crush the bird with my bare hands, killing it instantly. this sends you into shock, and subsequently into a depressive bout as you miss your pet bird. this evolves into an alchoholism problem, and eventually you drink and drive, and as such you hit someone. you survive because something about drunk drivers being able to survive being flung around more. the person you hit, however, was an avid bird fan taking home a beautiful parakeet. grief overfloods you now, as both the fan and the parakeet were not as luckly. it becomes too much, and you regress into a husk of yourself, almost completely uninteractive. I return, and cut you several times with the now-rotting corpse of your beloved bird, giving you several infections that you dont bother going to get treated, which ultimately kills you


ok so like, you know the smart pistol from titanfall 2? that except the bullets go AROUND the locked on target instead of AT the target. and also your commander keeps setting its IFF system to act as if its a smart pistol instead of the dumb pistol
Click to expand...
((Drunk drivers tend to have more relaxed muscles, while people who have their wits about them tend to tense up to brace for impact. Bracing like that is actually a horrible idea, as you’re get far more damage done to yourself than if you relax. Just thought I’d share that tidbit.))

Someone’s attacking you, and I try to defend you with the gun but since it doesn’t work properly I fail to do so in time and you’re killed.

The random bits of useless information that I know.
 
While you’re walking around near some trees, I throw the icicle at an object in the tree just above your head. Oh wait, that was a hornets’ nest? Whoops.

An apple.
 
(Thanks for the new item. I replied to an apple before.)
EDIT:(I forgot the murder part...) You're wearing a pair of those glasses that act kind of like kaleidoscopes, and drive straight off a cliff.

A regular blade of grass, not the Terraria kind, completely free of any and all bacteria, preserved in perfect condition.
 
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It is the year 2342 however, and it is the last one in existence. I steal it and plant evidence to implicate you in the crime, then intentionally get caught and make a deal by selling you out. This causes me to be able to live in prison and escape later, while you get executed.


The raven from The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.
 
A throw it at a window, shattering it. Unfortunately for you it is -30 outside, so all of the heat escapes through the broken window, causing you to freeze to death.


A laptop.
 
Welp, it seems like this laptop can launch a nuclear bomb on command. You shouldn't have inputted ~ ~ ~ (like in Minecraft)

A manga.
 
Said potato contains GLaDOS, and the events of Portal 2 play out, except Wheatley somehow manages to crush you with spiked wall panels.

The periodic table.
 
I decide to expose you to every element listed on them. Enough of them are poisonous, radioactive, or otherwise dangerous that you should be dead by the end of it.

A clock.
 
It's tied to your lifeforce. It stops, you die. I just so happen to accidentally drop it on a sharp rock.

Myself. Please be creative.
 
You are being treated for [insert disease] and your daily dose of meds were swapped by mistake, making you die from painkiller overdose.

Fibonacci sequence
 
Have you ever heard of the game Please, Don't Touch Anything? Well, in that game you have access to a large device and a screen where you can see how all of the different things you do with that device destroy the city, or end the world. You get one of the endings by entering that sequence, and unfortunately for you, I entered it while you were in that city.


A copper pipe.
 
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