Other Literature KirbyMaster500's Story Draft

KirbyMaster500

Skeletron Prime
Welp, I'm mainly just going to use this as a test, or a draft more fittingly. I'm currently in the works of creating my own story, based on the Kirby franchise. Thing is, they're human in this story and will include some OC's as well as a crossover finale. However, I haven't gone into much of that yet. Fortunately, I have finished the prologue of the story (which is pretty darn long :p), which gives some intro to the main keys to the story itself. Here it is:

Have you ever heard of the Origins? Perhaps not. After all, you are not from this universe. Allow me to explain on what exactly are the Origins. The Origins are powerful deities, a total of six, responsible for the very existence and balance of the Omniverse, the material and infinite plane of existence and reality. The six Origin deities have powers: Space, Time, Darkness, Light, Creation, and Void. To understand, compare these terms to animating a story. Creation is your drawing tool. It can materialize anything, such as objects and animals, akin to drawing what you desire on your story. Void is an eraser. When one seems to lack purpose or has fulfilled its role, it is removed by the eraser to be out permanently. Space is the canvas. It is the essential thing needed for the both Creation and Void to work, as there would be nothing to create nor erase. Time is the "Play" and/or "Pause" Button. Once Creation has finished their work, Time can bring it to life, to make it move, to animate the drawing one has created. Last are Light and Darkness, both of which represent the emotion and soul of the work. Perhaps the setting is a grim forest, or the character is an excited child. It also represents the conflict and morality between, Black and White, or perhaps Gray on both sides. Out of all abilities, it was considered that Space was the most powerful, since it is impossible to use any of the aforementioned powers to their full and true extent without it.

However, what the deities lacked was creativity. Even with their abilities combined, all they could create into existence was the Omniverse. They announced to their creation to impress them, to make something they would've never thought of creating. One day, they came upon a man who had discovered something very unreal and phenomenal. That very thing was the world of dreams: a subconsciousness where anything could be possible to happen, where one's ideals and hopes can finally become true. The Origins, impressed by the man, rewarded him with fragments of their power, which he soon showed to them mixing all of their powers to create something. It succeeded with utmost glory and created a "Perpetual Energy Source". The energy source took form of a kaleidoscopic star, and birthed from it was a boy, who the man claimed as his son. But long after, the man regretted making that terrible mistake as he, unintentionally, unleashed chaos to the Omniverse through the manifestation of a fallen angel. The man falls protecting his own son, severing the tie for the two to see each other again in the flesh. The fallen angel would soon gain the attention of the Origins, cueing a battle where the inevitable was only delayed. The Origins could not defeat the immoral seraph and the battle ended with the six deities slain. However, the fallen angel vanished from existence, perhaps waiting for another moment to strike. But her disappearance did not end the nightmare she had caused. Planets and stars were destroyed, civil and religious wars began and spread its vile influence, the world deemed a Paradise was ruined to a soulless husk of its former self, and the lives lost were constantly rising. But soon, people that believed in the greater future, Seers, began to make a prophecy: that the Origins will reincarnate from the children who have suffered the most terrible of the angel's wrath. The prophecy goes to name their traits, akin to parts of the human body:

Space is that of the heart, using the power of beliefs and emotions as his fuel to his vitality. He tends to think more chaotically and emotionally, solving problems based on how others feel about it, but can think rationally at times. Space will be reincarnated as a boy who wields an omni-weapon of nigh-unlimited potency, one that is certain of absolute victory.

Time focuses on the mind, using rationalism to fill her energy. Her thinking is that of an amazing scholar, dealing with problems with reasoning and logic. However, she can still think emotionally. Time will be reincarnated as a girl who wears the crown made from a star's core, another weapon of limitless power, a magic crown to control and manipulate reality.

Darkness is the left eye, seeing the world in a different matter and a somewhat negative perspective. He manifests as living chaos, creating mischief wherever he roams, a trait born within his soul. However, he fights for the greater cause, to help others in their time of need. All he lacks is the energy and enthusiasm to try. Darkness will be reincarnated as a boy who holds a scythe, one that razes all to nothing.

Light is the right eye, seeing the world opposite of Darkness. She materializes as living hope, always thinks of the future and believes in it, thinking of the positive things in life. She also fights for the greater good, but acts with more generosity than Darkness. Light will be reincarnated as a girl who has the staff of all's hopes and dreams, one that can grant any wish.

Creation is that of the right hand, using it as the Hand of Divine Creation, the Hand of God. He is born as a silent warrior who works with utmost precision, the best of his class. However, this comes at the cost of his sociality. Not if Space has an involvement. Creation will be reincarnated as a boy who wields twin blades connected by an infrangible tether, as well as sorcery that rewrites the limits of reality.

Void is that of the left hand, the opposite of the Hand of Divine Creation, a hand that destroys everything. She is born as a rogue mage who is a perfectionist, one who refuses anything short of excellence. A belief caused from a tragic failure. Void will be reincarnated as a girl who holds endless mana in her hands, enough to eradicate galaxies in an instant.

When the angel returns, the Origins will unite, along with the Gifted Ones from a forsaken paradise, to end the seraph's calamity wracked upon all. However, the one to end her will be the one has suffered the most.

Do you understand what I am referring to now? Still no? Well, the story itself does have intricate details that could fade from your attention, but no matter. Here is the story about the Prophecy to End All, a story about six young humans. An epic focusing on the life of a boy who always seeks to set things right.

This is the story of Kirby Superstar.

Welp, yeah, there it is. My one heck of a dumb story. "Why did you post this?", you'll probably ask. Well, I usually tend to storymaking as a hobby, yet I feel as if there is something wrong with the stories I'm making. Are they too complex? Is it too simple of an idea? Will readers comprehend the subjects in my story? Those are just few of the questions I constantly ask myself when I'm typing down the story. It has gotten to the point where I decided I was going to need some peer review. What I'm saying is to ask for any suggestions, comments, and/or helpful/constructive criticisms. Stuff like "the story is too long in words" or "some words just didn't get to me" can help me edit my story. All I'm asking is for you to help me develop this story. With all that said, enjoy the story's long prologue. :)


If this thread is in the wrong forums, please report and ask an moderator to move it to the correct forums. If moving it is not possible, I'll ask to lock this current thread and repost it in the proper forums. Sorry, I'm still just new to the forums. Thanks.
 
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