UblazEqualEyes
Skeletron Prime
Hello, I'm Condemnite (Condemn-night), previously known as GamReCat. I previously had a forum account and a youtube channel where I did various Terraria related posts/videos, with the intent of sharing my excitement at how awesome Terraria was, and how much fun I was having playing it. I wasn't that big of a channel at only 20k subs at my height, but when I got burned out and stopped posting terraria videos, youtube took away my exposure and my subscribers got "burned out" (means that youtube no longer sees your channel as something they care about and does not recommend videos to them. Even if they are subscribed). Essentially by not showing up to work I lost any growth I had.
Tbh, I didn't deserve the exposure I got. I didn't even know what clickbait was at the time, but I would post videos like "Terraria Enemy Spotlight: rainbow slime" and then it'd be like a minute long video of me just showing the enemy and...Actually I don't even think I knew how Rainbow slimes spawned at the time. I was just like this is a rainbow slime. Cool huh? It drops rainbow blocks, like and subscribe! It was so bad. I did like around 100 bad tutorial videos. That video got 180k views btw. :confusion:. So other people attempted to make tutorials too to about the same quality. It's all about intent right? If someone did it with the intent of education and then did a mediocre job that's fine. Especially if it's one of your early videos. We all start out not knowing a lot and then we improve. These people just saw an idiot post videos with no comprehension of a tutorial and get massive traction. So they posted their own. Now it's really hard to find any information on the subject. Cause I fueled the fire. Like videos titled and thumbnailed to be a guide and then the person in the video doesn't even know how the enemy works themselves. I was just excited about the game and all the new stuff. Mostly just relied on headcannon for some stuff. Like I thought the rainbow slime spawned in the ice biome cause I saw it there once.
So I basically ruined the terraria tutorial video genre on youtube. All my GamReCat persona was even known for really was building a giant house. It wasn't even that big or impressive. There's people who actually put effort into the work getting less credit then i did. If you have 15,000 wood and no patience; sure just throw it in a single spot until it's to the top of the map and then throw all the paintings you find in every open space, and if there's a 1 block space for something put a book there. It's crammed full of stuff so it took effort right? The only thing I ever did that took effort was making the platinum room video. Where I made a giant room and filled it with roughly 10,000 platinum. Pre expert mode and pre 1.3 I'd say that's impressive. So I deserved no praise for anything other than the money room video. Although being the first person to kill duke fishron with a broken minishark was pretty C O O L.
Anyway so other than ruining youtube terraria tutorials the other thing I did was embody the typical screaming teenage youtuber. I'm not just saying that cause one of my most popular and most commented videos on that channel was me screaming at enraged plantera. In like 50 of my 550 videos I'd say (off the top of my head) I screamed way louder than a normal person would have. Believe it or not non of them were completely fake. I was just a kid with bad anxiety. Very jumpy. When surprised I tended to get loud. Only one of the screams was a fear scream. The rest where surprise screams. Literally the only mention of me on reddit was someone saying that I was obnoxious. So there was totally just this stigma that I was an annoying screaming child who had no idea what he was talking about. This didn't help anyone get into terraria through my channel. Although some people still they that I inspired them. Which is pretty cool.
The last terrible thing I did as GamReCat was I was incredibly selfish and manipulative. Because of how much I was used and hurt by others at school in early elementary I developed a similar mindset. That people were bad and that they were just tools to be used. I was closed off from caring for other people, because why care about something that will just hurt you? All my viewers were to me were numbers. If the numbers were high I was happy, if they weren't I felt inadequate. My identity was simply numbers on a screen. I didn't even think once about what the numbers represented. All the people who saw my videos. All the experiences, the good, the bad...I didn't think about that at all. If a video had 1000 views and no comments I wouldn't care about the video, and I would consider it a failure. If I got 200 views and 200 comments I'd consider it a success. "If people were engrossed in my videos they would comment" was my mindset. There are plenty of people who watch a video and do not comment. I was such a selfish perfectionist that I didn't care about the experiences others had. All I cared about where the numbers that I deemed as important. There were several moments when I chose to stop playing terraria and the views declined. I lashed out at the community like it was their fault. Instead of addressing the situation in a way that told people I was just taking a break, I unreasonably expected people to watch my videos for ME. Just because I was in them was enough reasoning. Cause I was a sociopath who cared not for community or for helping others. Every video labeled tutorial was made only for numbers just like the people who came after me. I would lure people in with bad jokes and random humor (the few people who actually fell for it. I've only had 3 friends in my life. 2 of which where smart enough to get away. Last one has stuck with me through all the bad times as I grew as a person) and then when I no longer needed them or they did the slightest thing that upset me I'd cast them out of my life. GamReCat...who I used to be was not a good person. Eventually though, earlier this year actually an event made me realize what I was doing and who I was. When my last friend did something that annoyed me and I tried getting rid of him I stopped and looked at him. We were both so sad in that moment. I saw the pain I had inflicted for the first time, and never wanted to do that again. I vowed to stop hiding behind disconnection and fear, hurting people in the process. I started the first step toward who I wanted to be. Someone who helped and cared for others. Who I used to be back in elementary school. The nice kid who didn't need a reason to help people. Who started conversations with people having bad days. Someone who brightened the world around them. Now that I have some experience I should hopefully not be used again. If I am though, perhaps that is the price to pay for being genuine.
Anyway this relates to terraria because who I am as a person inserted itself into the game. Who I was used to be someone very toxic. So my content was toxic. It had no purpose or reason to exist, and all it did by existing was hurt others experience. I want to fix what I broke. I want to help people find the answers to their questions. I want people who maybe haven't had the best time find some enjoyment from what I post.
Terraria is a big game with a lot going on. Even back when I was the old me I wanted to start a tutorial/guide series on every item and enemy. Not just forced 1 take 4 minute videos where I don't even know what I'm talking about.
...I am Condemnite. I am somebody who wants to help, to entertain, and to introduce. A lot of people already play terraria, many more will join them. I want to make their time easier. Most of all I don't want to hurt anyone again. Mistakes happen. I'm hoping that I can correct mine and move forward toward a brighter future. Thank you for reading that beast of a introduction. Even if you skipped to the end thank you. This took 9 hours to write I'm gonna make some food.
Tbh, I didn't deserve the exposure I got. I didn't even know what clickbait was at the time, but I would post videos like "Terraria Enemy Spotlight: rainbow slime" and then it'd be like a minute long video of me just showing the enemy and...Actually I don't even think I knew how Rainbow slimes spawned at the time. I was just like this is a rainbow slime. Cool huh? It drops rainbow blocks, like and subscribe! It was so bad. I did like around 100 bad tutorial videos. That video got 180k views btw. :confusion:. So other people attempted to make tutorials too to about the same quality. It's all about intent right? If someone did it with the intent of education and then did a mediocre job that's fine. Especially if it's one of your early videos. We all start out not knowing a lot and then we improve. These people just saw an idiot post videos with no comprehension of a tutorial and get massive traction. So they posted their own. Now it's really hard to find any information on the subject. Cause I fueled the fire. Like videos titled and thumbnailed to be a guide and then the person in the video doesn't even know how the enemy works themselves. I was just excited about the game and all the new stuff. Mostly just relied on headcannon for some stuff. Like I thought the rainbow slime spawned in the ice biome cause I saw it there once.
So I basically ruined the terraria tutorial video genre on youtube. All my GamReCat persona was even known for really was building a giant house. It wasn't even that big or impressive. There's people who actually put effort into the work getting less credit then i did. If you have 15,000 wood and no patience; sure just throw it in a single spot until it's to the top of the map and then throw all the paintings you find in every open space, and if there's a 1 block space for something put a book there. It's crammed full of stuff so it took effort right? The only thing I ever did that took effort was making the platinum room video. Where I made a giant room and filled it with roughly 10,000 platinum. Pre expert mode and pre 1.3 I'd say that's impressive. So I deserved no praise for anything other than the money room video. Although being the first person to kill duke fishron with a broken minishark was pretty C O O L.
Anyway so other than ruining youtube terraria tutorials the other thing I did was embody the typical screaming teenage youtuber. I'm not just saying that cause one of my most popular and most commented videos on that channel was me screaming at enraged plantera. In like 50 of my 550 videos I'd say (off the top of my head) I screamed way louder than a normal person would have. Believe it or not non of them were completely fake. I was just a kid with bad anxiety. Very jumpy. When surprised I tended to get loud. Only one of the screams was a fear scream. The rest where surprise screams. Literally the only mention of me on reddit was someone saying that I was obnoxious. So there was totally just this stigma that I was an annoying screaming child who had no idea what he was talking about. This didn't help anyone get into terraria through my channel. Although some people still they that I inspired them. Which is pretty cool.
The last terrible thing I did as GamReCat was I was incredibly selfish and manipulative. Because of how much I was used and hurt by others at school in early elementary I developed a similar mindset. That people were bad and that they were just tools to be used. I was closed off from caring for other people, because why care about something that will just hurt you? All my viewers were to me were numbers. If the numbers were high I was happy, if they weren't I felt inadequate. My identity was simply numbers on a screen. I didn't even think once about what the numbers represented. All the people who saw my videos. All the experiences, the good, the bad...I didn't think about that at all. If a video had 1000 views and no comments I wouldn't care about the video, and I would consider it a failure. If I got 200 views and 200 comments I'd consider it a success. "If people were engrossed in my videos they would comment" was my mindset. There are plenty of people who watch a video and do not comment. I was such a selfish perfectionist that I didn't care about the experiences others had. All I cared about where the numbers that I deemed as important. There were several moments when I chose to stop playing terraria and the views declined. I lashed out at the community like it was their fault. Instead of addressing the situation in a way that told people I was just taking a break, I unreasonably expected people to watch my videos for ME. Just because I was in them was enough reasoning. Cause I was a sociopath who cared not for community or for helping others. Every video labeled tutorial was made only for numbers just like the people who came after me. I would lure people in with bad jokes and random humor (the few people who actually fell for it. I've only had 3 friends in my life. 2 of which where smart enough to get away. Last one has stuck with me through all the bad times as I grew as a person) and then when I no longer needed them or they did the slightest thing that upset me I'd cast them out of my life. GamReCat...who I used to be was not a good person. Eventually though, earlier this year actually an event made me realize what I was doing and who I was. When my last friend did something that annoyed me and I tried getting rid of him I stopped and looked at him. We were both so sad in that moment. I saw the pain I had inflicted for the first time, and never wanted to do that again. I vowed to stop hiding behind disconnection and fear, hurting people in the process. I started the first step toward who I wanted to be. Someone who helped and cared for others. Who I used to be back in elementary school. The nice kid who didn't need a reason to help people. Who started conversations with people having bad days. Someone who brightened the world around them. Now that I have some experience I should hopefully not be used again. If I am though, perhaps that is the price to pay for being genuine.
Anyway this relates to terraria because who I am as a person inserted itself into the game. Who I was used to be someone very toxic. So my content was toxic. It had no purpose or reason to exist, and all it did by existing was hurt others experience. I want to fix what I broke. I want to help people find the answers to their questions. I want people who maybe haven't had the best time find some enjoyment from what I post.
Terraria is a big game with a lot going on. Even back when I was the old me I wanted to start a tutorial/guide series on every item and enemy. Not just forced 1 take 4 minute videos where I don't even know what I'm talking about.
...I am Condemnite. I am somebody who wants to help, to entertain, and to introduce. A lot of people already play terraria, many more will join them. I want to make their time easier. Most of all I don't want to hurt anyone again. Mistakes happen. I'm hoping that I can correct mine and move forward toward a brighter future. Thank you for reading that beast of a introduction. Even if you skipped to the end thank you. This took 9 hours to write I'm gonna make some food.
