print("Hello World!")

[HandsomeSquirrel🐿️]

Salutations, greetings, and [insert superfluously sesquipedalian introductory statement here]! As you doubtlessly can tell from my username, I like squirrels a lot! (If you're kind and you like animals, consider joining team squirrel by adding to the end of your username. Even if you're already in another group, it's perfectly cromulent to be in both.) I also greatly enjoy sharing memes and jokes. Here's one now!

Although I would like to share a plethora more information pertaining to yours truly, I feel compelled to sustain an aura of mystery... so goodbye!

EDIT: I have hit the character limit in my about page, so I'm putting all of my self-quotes here. (Quotes by others are in another post a little ways down.)

Spoiler: My quotes

By me, HandsomeSquirrel. I have quite a lot of these. (Am I self-centered?)

Spoiler: Batch 1

I only like some of my hats enough to throw them.

Pinkie Pie is incredibly disgruntled at your scurridious accusations. It was a changeling who had the arquebus! (WAIT I SAID TOO MUCH-)

Why does it hurt when I hit my hand with a hammer?

Me who eats ultraviolet radiation from the sun itself:

I microwaved the peanut butter for 11 seconds

Also, if I thought you were faking or lying, I wouldn't have gifted you the two severed human hands and the (non)-human eyeball; I applied them to your posts as needed, just as the instruction manual said!

I was doing a small dance for no reason; that may have participated in the divergence of my regular chronal perception.

Check your famosity meter

Flare Gun's so classless, it's a Marxist utopia!

I have plenty of eyes in my basement.

Spoiler: Batch 2

I bet someone told him to touch grass, but when he did, they took his computer and threw it into an active volcano.

Granted, but you are also hugged by some of the wet geese.

When he found out his car used a speedometer, he sold it and bought a wild horse, for he did not want to have any affiliation with the metric system.

If you paint an orange green, and install a motor on it so it goes "put-put-put", does it become a putting green?

I shall defeat you by sending you negative money on Patreon.

Darn Darniel's laundry basket with his white vans.

ADHD gang rise u- hey look, a squirrel!

W̵̧̧̨̘̯͚̜̳̦͈͉̗͑̂͝͝Ȩ̸̧̙̤͓̰̤͎̥̠̍͛̒̈́͌̉̿͐͗̑̾͊͘͜͠E̷͎͕̱̤̻̥̝̰̼̣̰͚̹̿̏̈́̈̑̽͋͝Ḑ̵̘͑̔̋̈̍̈́̇́̏̆̓͠ ̴̬̲̗̤͚̻̤̘̰̗̜̺͚̞̿̈̐̐͐̈́̈́̓͝Ë̶̫̠͔̲͚̬́̍͑̈̚͝Á̶̟͉͈̌Ţ̶͉͕͈̬͋̑͋͋̕͠E̷̝͙̪̜͂R̵̡͉̙͚̰͍̂̔

Opinions on bees with teeth?

What if there was an achievement called "No Moho" that you get by mining up all the blocks in the Mohorovicic layer on a world?

Spoiler: Batch 3

"It's Very Chile Outside": Everyone Claims To Be In This South American Country!

Yoda will beat him up with green action and kung-fu grip

Draedon is not strong enough to use dank memes.

I dug a 6 foot deep hole in a protected forest and poured toxic chemicals into the soil, but I don't know what to do next.

Pfft, birds are soooo November 17th. I'm switching to modern tactics... medieval siege weapons!

Pikachu is a green J

I drank helium once from a tank in someone's garage

Uhh... *checks 8 ball*
You should... "made in China".

The mushrooms are whistling. With their Mushroom Mouthsᵀᴹ.

I'm gonna go get my boomerang-shaped dog from my boomerang-shaped backyard.

Spoiler: Batch 4

Are you sure?

EDIT 2.0: Here's the Point Games stuff.
For users who have changed their names; I will be using the name I know you best by. Sorry if it gets confusing.

Spoiler: Points

Eye of Cthulhu: 5
Green_Metaknight: 7
TechionPrime: 3
Orchamut: 7
Im_ConfuzzledCobalt: 4
Im_Tumbling_Terra: 2
Snek_Person: 1
Depressed Snow Grouse: 1
StrawberryStealer: 1
TforToe: 1

my sister: 1
my dad: 5

 

[Glasia 森の魔王🌳]

Hello. Nice to see you on the forums. I'd better not make out of this intro thread a meme thread as we have already a meme thread in Humorous - Post your memes!.

 

[HandsomeSquirrel🐿️]

Due to the character limits in my about page and signature (along with the fact that any images inserted in either of them have to be from a link), I have decided that I'm going to put all art made for me (or upon my suggestion) by other users here:

Spoiler: of me

Spoiler: dangerously muscular

by @Schparks

Spoiler: Eye of Cthulhu found Waldo

by @Infirain

Spoiler: dragon

by @Orchamut

Spoiler: Feller Dweller

by @Im_ConfuzzledCobalt🥐🌳🐿

Spoiler: Behalf of the Biomes style

by @ethan2🥐🌳🐿

Spoiler: running

by @Asternove​

Spoiler: of the Zoologist

Spoiler: chillin' with Catty Magee

by @Mazeriette

Spoiler: a squirrel in your hand is worth two on the tree (unless it's biting you, but that's not relevant)

by @cheese_face8903

Spoiler: DRAGON!

by @Orchamut

Spoiler: Behalf of the Biomes style

by @ethan2🥐🌳🐿

Spoiler: Your elemental power is... GREEN

by @StarsAndStuff

Spoiler: punching a Goblin Thief

by @Fluxxation

Spoiler: OMORI style

by @Mazeriette​

Spoiler: dragons

All of these are by @Orchamut!

Spoiler: miscellaneous

Spoiler: penrose triangle

by @Snek person🐿️

Spoiler: squirrel sticker

by @Mazeriette

Spoiler: Reginald (an OC of mine)

by @Mazeriette

Spoiler: Cinderace

by @cheese_face8903

Spoiler: Deerclops

by @cheese_face8903​

 

[HandsomeSquirrel🐿️]

I have hit the character limit in my About page again, so I'm moving my quotes list here. Filled with both goofy stuff and serious stuff! (Mostly the former.)

Spoiler: Main Quotes List

Spoiler: anonymous

the goat of all time

Spoiler: Green Metaknight

All of these are by @Green_Metaknight; he gets his own section.

Spoiler: batch [a]

The Scraggler said something nasty! Your guts went down by 5.
Redigit used PSI Time Out Ω! The Scraggler is in time out!

I hate owls. It's course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

I'm about to watch a movie called "my eyelids." When I'm done it will be tomorrow.

I hope the Illuminati invade earth.

I don't know how to count, I'm 14! I'm only in Calculus!

There are 2 countries who own species; China, which owns Pandas, and Britain, which owns Wales.

Everyone knows the U.S.' main export is fake apples.

No one outpizzas the Hopliteᵀᴹ

WAIT YOU'RE ACTUALLY A ZERO TRUTHER???

Spoiler: batch [b]

Don't post pictures of my family's skeletons on the internet.

I just realized why the water on the floor feels like hotdog grease! (paraphrased)

Is my hand-waving filled with enough angst?

I could totally beat Terraria with that unicycle.

Hold on, I'm trying to cry.

Yeet me into the doctor's office so they can surgically remove all my bones and microwave them.

Fortnite is 2 weeks, so if someone is too weak, that person is fortnite.

Spoiler: my mom

All of these are from my Mom! She also gets her own section.

Spoiler: batch [a]

I'm a waterproof tactical jacket.

Bob the Tomato is not the god of war.

I will find the nearest koala I can find and say "BITE ME!"

[Green_Metaknight] wins with cannibalism!

You're smart, but you're smart enough to know that you're smart, which makes you a pain in the neck.

Hold your hand over your mouth. It helps you remember not to talk.

Quit having legs.

I love pushing people down the stairs!

Powdered dog nail, my favorite salad topping.

Satan Claus is not coming to town.

Spoiler: batch [b]

I fixed it, and all I had to do was disown your brother.

You just sighed like I was going to sell your kidney.

I'm so good at making cool kids.

I don't know why Eminem is throwing cheese at me.

That's why I made you. To harvest your kidneys.

Disclaimer just in case:
I recognize that some of these may seem concerning, but you need not be alarmed; they're all in good fun, not out of sociopathy/psychopathy. No need to call child support or whatever. My mom's cool.

Spoiler: Batch 1

@King Jameth III "Birth is a curse and existence is a prison."

@Raiden 雷電 "(we're beating up a child)"

@Fluttershy [CiM] "Wow so cutie marks are just puberty"

@Depressed Fr0g "Anyone wonder why its spelled Camouflage and not ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"

@Unit One "Jason Mendoza is a genius."

@Mecha_Twitchy "why does he need so many scorpions"

@Cenx "Guess you need to report me."

@Esther "Winter has the best dev team. There are no bugs."

@Infirain "Thank you! It seriously sucked being -1 years old"

@Chir' "So egotistical saying you're the nicest person outside of Canada."

Spoiler: Batch 2

@GoldenTerrabyte "TCF is the only social media you need "

@Tunnel King "Thread locled"

@Orchamut "Throat Spray?
Rope?
Bombs?
You want it?
It's yours my friend, so long as you have enough eold"

@Noobiescrubpleb "Do you belong on pizza?"

@Glasia "I lie on the throne of sits."

@Schparks! "if only I could be quoteable"

@Galactic Emperor Nyandam "Bro are you eating the soap I need that to finish my potions"

@Esther "George, please become faster than these pandas"

@Redigit "I will become a hermit and live in the mountains"

@Orchamut "Oh I can 'taste sound' alright
*Eats airpods*"

Spoiler: Batch 3

@Causal_Weird0' "oooooooooooooooooooooooo"

@Causal_Weird0' "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

@Orchamut "In soviet Russia, gold mines you."

my sister "England hasn't been invented yet!"

@Esther "Excuse me, you are trying to brainwash my sheep."

@Cherry! "you are soap"

@ethan2🐿 ""this post""

@IndigoGollum "Watermelons
Firemelons
Earþmelons
Airmelons

Long ago, ðe four fruits lived togeðer in harmony. Ðen one day, everyþing changed when ðe firemelons attacked."

my dad "I'm going to eat the sun."

@FlamingBlaze "I am the new sacri-member."

Spoiler: Batch 4

my brother "The Bible is the ultimate frying pan."

@Mecha_Twitchy "Squirrel， 你是很狂。"

@Mazeriette 'If you take an image of a confident person/character but caption it as “Is on the verge of tears” it will immediately make the image 15x funnier'

my sister (singing) "Break all of your bones!"

@ethan2🐿 "Soap has never been invented"

@Esther "Esther: "I'm Esther.""

@pun_master_dusk "“i have a split personality,” said tom, being frank"

@Glasia "I will plant a tree in your body."

@Jackiethederg "guys I think my cat is a computer"

my youth pastor "You can't make a difference in the world if you aren't different from the world."

Spoiler: Batch 5

Jake Peralta (from Brooklyn 99) "I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal; that's where the blood's supposed to be!"

40th U.S. President Ronald Reagan "The nine most terrifying words in the english language are: 'I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.'"

46th U.S. President Joe Biden "Help is here."

Bob Ross "I can't afford to hate people. I don't have that kind of time."

@DatCatBeta the Kobold "I could punt a child across 3 football fields"

@Streyll "What sad times are these, that passing squirrels can say Ni at will to bananas."

my sister (singing again) "Two wrongs make a right, two rights make a wrong!"

my sister "Did you know, that sound is the sound of your bones fracturing?"

@TWillyH "Personally being a big fluffy and friendly fox/wolf is way better than mauling several people"

@Mecha_Twitchy "WHY ARE YOU LIKING everything I TYPE IN DUTCH"

Spoiler: Batch 6

@Unit One "I'm on it. Off to ban the newest members section for being a rude bully."

DeAngelo (from The Office) "That baby could be the star of a show called 'Babies I Don't Care About'."

@Mille Marteaux "i feel like i've been making too many good decisions lately and i aim to fix that"

@Incendiary "As my favourite Fortnite character Superman once said, gotta go fast."

@Orchamut "I spent my life's savings on a rock with a number engraved into it."

@CTNC "could you make someone feel better by kicking them in the face?"

Ben Carson "As the Gospel of Matthew tells us, 'whatever you do for the least of my people, you do unto me.' This spirit of charity is not a call to simply enable those suffering to persist in their misery. Instead, it is a challenge to set people upon the path to self-sufficiency and allow them to live with dignity as children of God."

my chemistry textbook “While it is nice to have a balanced chemical equation, you will find that I am not always nice!”

zombienixon from the MLP forums "It's quite obvious that they are human. Applejack has a New Jersey tan, Rainbow Dash has cyanosis, Twilight has even worse cyanosis, Pinkie Pie is perpetually sunburned, Rarity is an albino, and Fluttershy has jaundice from some kind of kidney problem, apparently. It's awfully insensitive of you to say they're not human for all having skin conditions. From the looks of it, Canterlot High and the surrounding community is for people with rare skin disorders."

@Doodles "I will find where you live and will crack an egg onto your roof everyday until you live inside a giant egg yolk."

Spoiler: Batch 7

30th U.S. President Calvin Coolidge "The wise and correct course to follow in taxation... is not to destroy those who have already secured success, but to create conditions under which everyone will have a better chance to be successful."

@Benry Gaming "Guys rate my pickup line
“Are you a Pimkin? Because I wanna pull you out of the ground and throw you at various creatures”"

Sheriff Holston Becker from Silo "What's the value of swearing an oath when you only stick to it when it's easy?"

@Mecha_Twitchy 'That's it, the next time I come with my grandma to the pharmacy I'm calling it a "pillgrimage"'

@Green_Metaknight "It feels nice, like stepping on Legos."

me "What if I added that to my quotes list?"

@Green_Metaknight "What if you added 'What if I added that to my quotes list?' to your quotes list?"

Spike from My Little Pony "I guess burnt hair is... an acquired taste?"

Spoiler: Replies (1)

@MAD SHOVEL!!!! "Help all my letters are scrambled"

@IndigoGollum "Did you order your alphabet soup shaken instead of stirred?"

>

@Eye Of Cthulhu "WHY IS THERE A $6000 CHARGE ON MY CREDIT CARD?!?!"

@ethan2🐿 "i needed robux"

>

@trashcanned1 "Is water wet?"

@HandsomeSquirrel "It can be; just soak it in something."

>

@Cherry! "i just wanna be a bartender"

@Yello_X "You're gonna scare away all the guys named Bart"

>

@SomeoneStrangerThanU "cargo shorts"

@Green_Metaknight "That's not the sound a car makes."

Spoiler: Replies (2)

@FederalGoose "I wish I knew how to breakdance."

@Glasia "This is a good thing that you want to know a harmless dance, since many people wish to know how to rob a bank."

@FederalGoose "
1. I want the dance to be harmful.
2. I want to know how to rob the bank."

>

@HandsomeSquirrel "Hydrogen bonding is bad, and it should be done away with."

@a really far away planet "Well, say goodbye to water, then."

@HandsomeSquirrel "Hooray! Since people are about 60% water, they'll take up much less space!"

Spoiler: OC quotes

Mobart (by me) "Hello, friends! What a unique experience. I have always wanted to burn alive, and then I did, but now I have done so twice."

the dragon from DGC (by @Orchamut) "Thought I couldn't digest an active bomb?"

Wolfy (by me) "Sometimes I worry that it's a little too cold for my NPC buddies, but my friend Will (he works at my pizza restaurant) is always saying weird ominous stuff like "he likes it cold", so I dunno."

Climmy (by @CTNC) *menacingly slips on tapdancing shoes*

Ahtum (by @Im_ConfuzzledCobalt🐿 "it appears Ahtum is going to have to speak sign language violently"

Blackjack/King '(I'm with the government. When I steal things, the technical term for that is "taxes.")'

 

[TWillyH]

Man too bad I'm not funny enough to say something funny enough out of nowhere to get in the quotes list I'm only funny when something else happens first

Anyway you should add "I AM NOT SHAPED LIKE A FERRIS WHEEL" from CaseOh

 

[HandsomeSquirrel🐿️]

Man too bad I'm not funny enough to say something funny enough out of nowhere to get in the quotes list

Hm hm hm, check again!

 

[TWillyH]

Hm hm hm, check again!

Damn I'm bad at reading thoroughly (But I never will be if you give me lore of media I like)