The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

Varvin jumps up onto the chandelier then up into the air to stab the armor in the “head” while yelling “I ****ING HATE THIS PLACE!”
 
(Benevolent Tingler)
Tingler wipes dead people off of his boots with his pizza, creating the perfect ghoul bait.
Tingler hunts for a ghoul.
 
Phaedra looks at Varvin holding his graham-cracker sword before he jumps.
"It's empty you idiot. What flesh are you trying to pierce?"
Phaedra steps back and fires vaguely in the empty armor's direction after Varvin jumps, not exactly caring if the gods of karma decide to bend the bullet into his shoulder.
 
~~~~Radio~~~~
*Music resumes finally*

~~~~Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 274/301 LVL: 2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@tappaja100)~~~~
HP: 79/200 LVL: 1
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 200/200 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City



Greyton directs Garrun to the inn for some ACTUAL food
Mario looks at greyton
Mario: The turtle shell is at least 15 Shmeckles.
Mario gestures his hand towards the bag holding Greytons Death Tokens.

Garrun walks into the inn, inn-side (Hehe) he finds a vampire cleaning mugs at the bar counter, looks like he is getting ready for a rush. The only other people in the bar is a bostonian male,a germanian medic, a Scottishian Cyclopean skeleton who is drunk, and a Allian Americanian Zombie.

~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/254 LVL 2
Current Location: Castle of Souls: First Floor Dining Room
~~~And~~~
~~~~Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 319/425 LVL:2
Current Location: Castle of Souls: First Floor Dining Room
~~~And~~~
~~~~Magnus (@TheGuy)~~~~
HP: 452/452 LVL 2
Current Location: Castle of Souls: First Floor Dining Room
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 200/200 LVL: 1
Current Location: Castle of Souls: First floor Dining Room



Phaedra: 319/425
Magnus: 252/452
Varvin: 111/254
Dollie: 200/200
VS
Empty Armor: 135/600 [SLOWNESS]

The Empty Armor is staggered!
Varvin grabs his sword and leaps on top, hoping to piece his head! He stabs into the helmet!
20 damage…
Varvin looks into the tiny hole and notices there is nothing inside the armor.
It shakes him off as Phaedra fires a bullet at the armor! It did 30 damage!
Magnus does nothing, the spider is already planning on making his head it’s vacation home to take its children to when they are finally finished up with school.
Dollie fires off a bullet! It did 15 damage!
The Armor finally comes back to its senses!
It looks defeated… but then it turns around and grabs the chain of the chandelier! It begins to rapidly span around the room spinning the chandelier!
As it bounces along the walls it laughs like a maniac, the first and only voice it’s had so far. The chandelier also bounces against the walls as soon as it hits one, Phaedra,Dollie and Varvin are actively dodging!
The Chandelier hits Magnus against a wall! It did 200 damage!
The Empty armor notices that it did not hit Varvin, enraged by this it throws the chandelier directly at him! He dodges, the Chandelier is broken.

~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 300/300
Head HP: 300/300 LVL 1
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard: Truce Town



Checklist:
Ghoul Eye: get these from Ghouls, they are all over the damn place, just leave town and look for the starving clawed humanoids.
Rotten Brain: Obtain these from Feral Zombies, another common monster. They aren’t using these anymore anyways.[DONE]
The Mohawk of a Mohawker: There is a small small camp of them to the west of town, just take this shaver, get it for me and flee. At least i THINK That is hair… [DONE]

Tingler takes his shoe and his pizza and rubs them together, the blood and rotten flesh becomes the DeadPizza
Tingler then goes north to the Woodlands known as the Overgrowth. There he places his single DeadPizza and waits.
The ground shakes as Ghouls pour out from all directions to fight over this one pizza, they start fighting each other, the area is filled with the shrill shrieks of starving ghouls trying to eat, and kill each other.

Meanwhile a wandering huntsman who was hunting deer notices tingler and approaches to say hi
Huntsman: Why hello there travel- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
The Huntsman points to the ghouls practically climbing each other to try to get to the pizza, or trying to kill other ghouls for food.
 
"I'll take one thanks." Greyton tells Mario handing over the 15 DT and taking the shell. Greyton then puts his hand into the shell making a gauntlet.
 
"Let's see if we can fill this armor..."

Dollie enters the armor through the hole left by Varvin's "graham-cracker sword".
 
(Well, after a significant amount of time, [see, like, no time at all], I decided to do another episode of this sideshow with the blessing of @Demon God Ivuul , so enjoy!)

Hostility: Hello, and welcome, to another episode of... Wait? Did I even name this? Let's just call it "Helpings of Hostility" or something...
So, since last episode, I've gotten some more of the ol' questions and answers... But you people don't seem to realise one thing, we don't have a mailbox... We pluck these straight from the line of thoughts, Karma guy has been conscripted to help me in this matter!

'Karma Guy': Why do you insist on doing this dumpster fire of a show?
Hostility:Quiet you, or I'll dock your pay faster than the previous intern lost his toenails!
'Karma Intern':Whatever... so, you've got a question from what is probably a child with a split personality, it goes as follows...
Dear swagman, [This appears to be crossed out sir...]

For curry, I want to know if there's anything else like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Hostility: Throw this out... moving on!
'Karma Illiterate': Wait, there is one more thing here... And it says...
More importantly, does anyone know my (crossed out) owner's name? Anyone at all?
-Anon
Hostility: I do know it, but I won't tell you! I'd rather you suffer a bit first! Next!(See;Not necessarily canon, rather not mess with your lore)
'Karma Inconsistent': Hey! Why does my name keep changing?! Anyway... This is the next question...
Is there someone out there who is more angry then I, cause I am having strange feelings in my gut, oh yeah right.
-The Post-Telephone Operator
Hostility: Asmodeus, next!
'Karma Intern': My name is normal, this is odd...
Hostility: Got bored of the joke... Anyway...
'Karma Intern': Well, some idiot tried sending a Braille letter, not realising we don't actually have a mailbox or a desk...
Hostility: Stop wasting my lack of linear time! NEXT!
'Karma Intern': Calm down, jeez, this is supposed to be a talkshow/podcast or something, right?
Hostility: Yes, now stop wasting time and read the question...
'Karma Intern': Okay, it reads like this...
Hello. I am Phaedra Trunkhoff.
My presentation is quaint, and is as follows:
You appear to be omniscient.
There's a little crab shack off the border of Nebraska named Banko's. Inside works a woman by the name of Jessica Ruther. She's one harpy woman with a heart of silver who hates me dearly, though I have a vested interest in her well being. Is she well?
Best regards,
Phaedra.
Hostility: Listen, I don't know how the hell you got this metaphysical address, I'll have you know I change it every 5 non-linear seconds, which means somebody must have leaked this, I am not paying your damn protection money! Go away Eldritch mafia! You are not welcome in my life! But this means that someone has been leaking my location to them...
'Karma Imposter': *Gulp*
Hostility: I KNEW SOMETHING SEEMED OFF ABOUT YOU, YOU ARE USUALLY AN ABSOLUTE-

*TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES* Please tune in next time!
 
(This is related to a future character of mine.)
You may know of the ultimate chimera, but have you ever wondered why it's the only creature native to the void? That's because they've been hunted to extinction by both the chimera and the residents of other realities like mine, but that isn't what my message is about, what I am seeking is a way to end this threat. So, if you have anything about the chimera, I require this information.
-Voidhunter
 
"HOW DO I ESCAPE" is scrawled onto the paper in black, almost as if someone wrote it with a laser. It's puzzling as to how they didn't burn the entire paper.
 
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