• For issues you find with the Switch and Console releases, please follow this link and give as much detail as possible. This is the speediest way to get info to Pipeworks and get a hotfix in the works.
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The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

Deputy Hue

Plantera
(Benevolent Tingler)
Tingler presses 2 on his remote.
Tingler throws his depressing dirt at Big Henry.


wowee i did it i updated at last
 

Changing Flask

Duke Fishron
Grigor looks at the Dan. "It's a real gratitude to meet someone like you Dan. Name's Grigor." He then imagined the situation himself, relieved by that. "Also, thanks for the clues there. Surely they'll help me in that town." He analysed the facts again. He'd need to conceal his Slavic accent, watch out for any steakhouses, alcohol vendor... He thought of buying vodka there, but too bad he had to go there first and find it. After some preparation, he started to depart to direction of 'New Cambra'. If skeleton was heading there, he felt nothing to say farewell... yet.
 
~~~~Radio~~~~

Now Playing: Tom Jones - It’s not unusual.

~~~~The Undying Ultimate Chimera (@Mr. Fury)~~~~
HP: 940/1,000 LVL: 666
Current Location: ???



UC: 940/1,000 [PSI SHIELD]
VS
Panphobia: 80/80

The Ultimate Chimera casts PSI Shield Ω
The Ultimate Chimeras body was protected by a Psychic Shield!
The Ultimate Chimera let’s out a warcry!
The Panphobia is not impressed.
The Panphobia tried PSI Brainshock Ω
But the PSI Shield blocked it!
The Panphobia slinked from the floor, to the walls, then leaped at the Ultimate Chimera, claws first! The Panphobia did 60 damage!

~~~~Amenhotep (@TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6)~~~~
HP: 50/50 LVL 1
Current Location: The Savage Savannah: Old Shack
UPDATE 3/25 until AFK Farmable



Amenhotep casts frizzle on the nearby dead tree.
A meteorite sized fireball is created from Amenhoteps fingertips and is tossed at the tree setting it ablaze, it’s just a normal dead tree though that is now burning. The dark part of the room is now lit and there seems to be a hole in the wall leading into a cave system.
The noise of a car pulling up outside the house is heard.
Elderly voice: Oh boi, i can't wait to see if my peach tree in my basement is finally growing peaches...

~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/271 LVL 4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: near Grimwich City



Varvin still isn’t responding. The guard gets angry
Guard: Alright you…
Varvin is tossed outside of grimwich city.

~~~~The Somewhat “Nice” Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 319/440 LVL:4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 200/220 LVL: 3
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 200/200 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City



Garrun crafts together Cowarantula hides,scorpalo horns,iron chains and bottles of poison.
Garrun made the Toxic Spine Armour!

And so the three step forward to the gate. Asmodeus is sitting there messing with a pocket watch while slogra is sharpening his ornate spear. A group of 4 revenants are seen and 2 other recruits: A buff zombie with a ripped straight jacket, he seems to have some sorta giant chainsaw-spear combination as a weapon.

The Zombie eyes Phaedra,Garrun and dollie.
Herex: You’re employing these three? I guess you’ve gone crazy Asmodeus.
The other volunteer steps up, it’s a women who is VERY tall, it’s impossible to tell what race she is due to her wearing fancy robes and a mask.
Xiyel: Silence Herex, remember the only reason Lord Asmodeus even employed you for this.
Herex: No one likes a kiss :red: Xiyel, you can stop with the “Lord” asmodeus crap, he is just Asmodeus. And we are just his dogs of war at this point…

Slogra: Feckin’ morons, ain’t none of you “dogs of war”.
Asmodeus puts his pocket watch away and approaches the rest of the group.
Asmodeus: Welcome, Phaedra, Garrun,... Dollie…, Xiyel. And Herex.
Herex: Oh, I get it, i get called last do i? What, just because i am slightly insane doesn’t mean i’m special enough to be called out first?!
Slogra: Feckin’ hell…

Asmodeus: I will be honest, we had more volunteers, but i’ve chosen you 5 because i can sense that unlike the other ones who volunteered, we can get the job done without much injury.

Xiyel here is an Expert healer, so if any of you get even a scratch during the fight tonight, then don’t hesitate to call on her.
Now then, it’s time we depart for Alexandria, if anyone has any further questions about the task at hand, or the enemy, feel free to ask on our way there.

Slogra, if you’d please.

Slogra picks up a glowing candle and lights it.
The party will NOT be attacked by wild monsters now!
Asmodeus and slogra lead the group. And they begin their journey to alexandria, feel free to have any conversations or ask any questions.

~~~~Traumatized Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 301/301 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@Defure)~~~~
HP: 210/210 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields



Greyton and Fred continue to watch Tinglers battle.

~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 250/330
Head HP: 250/300 LVL 1
Current Location: Overgrowth: Crossroads near Pumpkin Yard
~~~Party Member: Clockwerk~~~
HP: 600/600 LVL 1



Tingler: 205/330 250/300
Clockwerk: 555/600
VS
Big Henry: 250/300 [PSI SHIELD] [ :( ]

Tingler tossed depressing dirt at Big Henry
Big Henry couldn’t stop crying!
Tingler presses 2 on his remote, Clockwerks personality switched to Toxic TF2 Player.
Clockwerk attacked with a barrage of bolts! It did 50 damage!
Clockwerk: rekt. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Big Henry leaps from the trees and hits clockwerk with his hammer into tingler.
45 damage!
45 damage!
The Lenny face bind from clockwerk has made big henry angrier. But he also can’t stop crying...

~~~~Fedora Ron (@Matthus)~~~~
HP: 107/107 LVL 1
Current Location: Hell: Ruinous Road



Ron: 57/107 [DISCO]
VS
Deerablo A: 60/60 [DISCO]
Deerablo B: 60/60

Ron tries to calm the two Deerablo down.
Deerablo A is wasting her turn lost in thought..
Deerablo B tosses a firebomb!
The Firebomb explodes dealing 50 damage to ron!
The floating Discoball fires off lasers towards both Ron and Deerablo A this turn! Both lasers miss.

~~~~Grigor (@Halt)~~~~
HP: 325/325 LVL 1
Current Location: Savage Savannah: New Canberra



After having talk with Downunder Dan Grigor heads off to new Canberra with Dan also heading in the direction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rntq-Eu0IuM

As Grigor steps into the savannah city, there are plenty of people roaming the streets despite it seemingly being the dead of night. Many houses and buildings are seen.
The following buildings can be seen:
“The REAL Outback Steakhouse”
“I can’t believe i’m not drunk!: The Bar”
“Smith Smithsons Smithery”
A Gas station.
And a large central part of town filled with many crafting tables.

Also of note is a strange tall man by a hearse who seems to be having an argument with one of the locals. And finally, a weird shadowy creature in a mask is seemingly hitting a hammer on a nearby floating black crystal.

~~~~Magnus (@TheGuy)~~~~
HP: 452/452 LVL 2
Current Location: Stasis


Magnus is no longer playing due to him decided not to come back before feb 1st arrived, as part of my plan stated in the discord server, he is removed from the game and once the devil deal between the chimera and amenhotep is done, he will be completely removed from the game one way or another.
 
Last edited:

TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6

Skeletron Prime
Scared to death, Amenhoteph quickly rushes to the cave, using the light to rush as a madnam deeper onto the cave, searching for ANYTHING to help himself.
God, if you are there. . . HELP ME!
 

IHATETHISSIGNUP

Spazmatism
“Exuse me Herex, but what’s so bad about employing me? I volunteered just to help people. Or do you have something against the blind?”
*Garrun looks at the armor he made.*
“Also would anyone want this armor?”
*Garrun proceeds to pull his hood up.*
 

Mr. Fury the Bootleg

Pixel Pirate
The Ultimate Chimera decides he's going to chomp that panphobia. And feast on it for nutrients.
◄►◄►◄►
Big Henry decides he's going to suplex the bind spamming robot because everybody knows that melee attacks are practically guaranteed to crit at the worst possible time.(inb4 WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH, missing in spectatular fashion.)
◄►◄►◄►
Deerablo B decides to use heal on itself assuming that the shotgun blast hits, if it misses, well, it's going to try pursue Ron, and maybe firebomb him again.
Deerablo A will pursue Ron either way and try to firebomb him in an effort to slow him down.
 

Shadowlord Faulinei: Ladies and Gentlllllllllemeeeeeeen, Gargish and Elvens, Jukans and Meers, Terathans and Ophidians, Ghouls and Super Mutants, Undead and eldritch lifeforms, Pumpkin people and martians, Furries and Wolvens, Monsters and animals, Void Daemons and Combine, Synths and Robots, Gods and Demons, Angels and-
Shadowlord Astaroth: GET ON WITH IT!
Shadowlord Faulinei: Welcome to CaAAAAaaAaaAAall from the void! the show where Shadowlord of the milky way galaxy: Shadowlord Maximus graces all of you lesser life forms with his presence.
The Audience is clapping.
Shadowlord Faulinei: And now your host: SSSSSSSHAAAAAAAADOWLOOOOORD, MAXXXXXXXIMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!
The Audience claps louder. they've been trained for this.

a curtain opens up as we see maximus sitting on his couch floating in the middle of the void like normal.
Shadowlord Maximus: Why, hello once again mortal and immortal souls listening to this. It is i, everyone's favorite Void Daemon: Shadowlord Maximus. and here we are once again on Episode 2 of this show! we've got a lot to talk about and some questions to answer.
The music stops
Shadowlord Maximus: Huh? Where'd my music go? Faulinei? What's going on?!


Shadowlord Maximus: Wait, that music... that demonic choir.. oh god dammit.
A shadow rises up from behind maximus, it is ivuul
Shadowlord Maximus: If that music is playing, then that means that damn demon god is already on his way to ruin my show, ONCE AGAIN...
Ivuul: And if i have time, take your couch.
Maximus leaps off the couch after hearing ivuul behind him. he looks angered by the demon god's jumpscare.
Ivuul: Hello once again viewers, i'm sorry i couldn't be here sooner, i brought a guest star today.
Maximus: YOU CAN'T JUST BRING GUEST STARS ON MY SHOW WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Ivuul: Too late. Please welcome:
A silhouette of a anthropomorphic wolf with spikes running down his back/neck is seen, it walks closer towards the couch area, it is indeed hunter now sporting fancy knight clothing instead of his merc leather garb.
Ivuul: HUNTER BELICARAY!
The Audience cheers for Hunter, louder than they cheered for Maximus.

Hunter: I wasn't expecting an actual full studio setup...
Ivuul: Well you are on Demonic God & the Blob, the number 1 radio show where you have to expect the unexpected!
Maximus: WE ARE NOT CALLED DEMONIC GOD & THE BLOB, WE ARE CALL FROM THE VOID! GARHGHH!
Ivuul: Now then, before we go into questions, i believe maximus had some conversation topics he wanted to share with the world. so go on blobbert.
Faulinei finally gets the music back to normal


Maximus: Yes, well *ahem.* so, it looks like Shadowlord Xylandrith and Shadowlord Jillius are having a bit of a fight and have now had their galaxies go into all out war with each other..
Oh, and it also seems that the martians on mars have been trying to get their reaper infestation dealt with, the reapers of mars seems to be slowly driving the martian sextellegers to extinction..
Welp, that's really about it for what i've got to sa- HEY, YOU TWO WAKE UP!

Ivuul and Hunter wake up. Faulinei who is monitoring the camera also wakes up.

Ivuul: Look, this is supposed to be an entertaining radio show, not the channel 7 news. i'd have invited scorpion if we wanted the latest news update.
Maximus: Should you even be mentioning the Arachno mans name in front of hunter? You know of their.. history..
Hunter: Relax. The past is the past. i don't seek any form of revenge on scorpion. he left his dark past and redeemed himself and i can look up to that. i've put my past in the past and have been focusing on moving forward. i've changed myself hopefully for the better.
Ivuul: Man, it seems like only yesterday i was eating popcorn and watching you and that slicer guy battle the Neibreth survivors and cruelix himself. i'm pretty sure i had started hatching a plot to try to recruit you on my side after seeing that "Copycat" mutation of yours.

So, i've had a bit of an idea before we move on to questions, we know that there is some conflict coming from planet h- the land of the dead. so, using my "Puppetmaster's sight" let's try to make some guesses on how everyones going to be doing.
Maximus: So, first things first, how about the chimera? he just... mysteriously disappeared.
Hunter: Mysteriously disappeared?
Maximus: Yeah, he was in the savage savannah but he just, vanished without a trace.
Ivuul: ... hmmm... as far as i can tell, he isn't on any other planets either...
Stay strong Chimera, your a good fellow at heart, so wherever you went, stay strong.


Faulinei: So, who do you think will be the first to die?
Maximus: Amenhotep
Ivuul: Amenhotep
Hunter: Amenhotep
Astaroth: Amenhotep
Nosfentor: .... Amenhotep.
The audience say amenhotep, it's all that know.
Faulinei: Personally, i think that ron guy will be the first to die, but that's just me...
Hunter laughs
Hunter: I've seen weaklings like him make it through worse, Amenhotep seemingly has NOTHING going for him. he's weak, but he has some power in his attacks i suppose. but it really don't matter, he has his own deathclock. and it ain't slowing down anytime soon.
Maximus: Oh, you don't think he will be able to hunt down that vampire?
Hunter: Not a chance in hell. they are still pretty far away from each other and amenhotep decided to crawl into a cave like some sorta troglodyte...
Ivuul: Yeah, not to mention not only is he timed, but the person he is hunting is far from weak, AND has friends. Amenhotep has been dealt the worst possible losing hand i think any "survivors" i've ever seen has been dealt...

Faulinei: And before we do questions, is there anyone any of you are rooting for.
Ivuul: Personally, Tingler seems to be a force to be reckoned with to me. heavy armor and big hammer. lightning magic too. i've been able to predict the movements of someone as ridiculous as ronald mcdonald trump, but i CANNOT figure out what tingler is thinking. you ALWAYS watch out for the wildcards in these games...
Maximus: i've gotta cast my vote towards Garrun, in sosaria archers are a mighty, MIGHTY force. and he has made it this far being :red:ing blind. i've got to give him credit, he has impressed me.
Ivuul: But the question is, will he keep impressing you?
Maximus: Time will tell.
Hunter: I'm voting for the fedora wearing neckbeard
Maximus & Ivuul: WHAT?!
Hunter: he is weak and pathetic in EVERY sense of the word. but i was too before my powers. You never know, if he plays his cards right, he could one day be the strongest fighter in there. so i'll root for him for now. Hope he doesn't disappoint...
Ivuul: You're absolutely right hunter, some of the weakest possible survivors ended up making it from start to finish in the past. whose to say it won't happen again? i will say this though, i don't know if running is such a good idea on rons part right now. those deerablo ladies pack quite a punch yes, but i feel like if he just flees they'll hunt them. and if he doesn't deal with the threat now, he could have the entirety of hell on him soon enough...

Alright, i think it's question time before we end things off, what say your guys?

Hunter: Yeah, let's do them.
Maximus: Faulinei, get the questions ready.

Faulinei: Question 1: in a fight between amenhotep and Phaedra, who would- Phaedra
Everyone at once: Phaedra.

Faulinei: Question 2: Do you think the Anubi have any good chance at winning?
Ivuul: Life is like a game, You either win or you lose in a horrible way, so far the only anubians who are "survivors" in my eyes are not doing so well in the slightest.
Hunter: Rest in pieces you two jackalmen.
Nosfentor: Press F to pay respects.
The audience breaks their F keys.

Faulinei: Question 3: Hope you accept non-humans without a homeworld as well, but do you have any idea where I might find the voidhunter? I have some business with him.
Ivuul: Of course we accept non humans without homeworlds, but unfortunately i wouldn't be able to tell you where this voidhunter is. i wish you luck on your search though.
Hunter: No clue here.
Maximus: Nope, but with a name like voidhunter, i'd get in a rocketship or find a broken moongate, he is already probably in the void.

Faulinei: Question 4: Excuse me, but how is Dell and Gordon doing? It’s been a while.
Maximus: I don't lurk in neibreth enough and hunter is from Grizilia now, so ivuul it's all you for this one.
Ivuul: Ah, Dell is doing swell. he recently worked with scorpion on a new version of the world portal. i don't really know much about it myself, you guys know me, i don't really get into the more sciency side of things, there's a reason why i always have someone else operating my world portals...
Before i came here i actually got to speak with dell, he from what i gathered just figured out a major breakthrough and is now working on his newest creation: the Level 4 Dispenser!
As for freeman... i'm sorry to say, i haven't seen gordon in ages. and unfortunately, i think i know why... i've felt him.. around neibreth. watching us, stalking us. with his stupid tie.. I'm afraid that he once again has freeman but despite that, i KNOW he is still here.

I don't know why he still is, or what he plans for Neibreth, but i don't think it's good...


Faulinei: Question 5: "Hi, hello, hi, where are you right now? Destroying settlements and restoring them has gotten boring." this one was for hunter i believe.
Hunter: Hmm.. let me see that..
...
Yep, i know who it's by, it's nice to hear from you again. well, as you can see i am currently here in Maximus's podcast room drifting through void, but i recently found myself at the kingdom of Grizilia, it was a.. weird experience but long story short i met with king Merisma and we both happened to share a lot in common of losing loved ones and being betrayed by people we trusted. i was eventually hired as a soldier of the kingdom and worked my way up to general.

In general, i can promise you i am a much happier hunter than when we first met... i hope everything has been good for you as well.


Faulinei: Question 6: "Hi, this is ◄NAME REDACTED► from the Helpings of Hostility podcast, you might also know me as the 'karma intern', how long until this whole diversionary podcast while waiting for updates thing gets out of hand? If somebody else tried this, do you think that the powers that be decide that these need to be shutdown in favour of the game?"

Ivuul: Hi there ◄NAME REDACTED►, i've seen that we still to this day haven't gotten a name for you, so i legally adopted you. from now on i shall refer to you as Moint Pan.
Honestly, i don't know how long before this gets out of hand, but allow me to say something to the other viewers, there is only room for TWO high quality podcasts, we cannot allow any more. it's not in the budget.

I feel if someone else did try this, we'd have to shut them down, but i think that Demonic God & the Blob featuring Hunter from Hunter may Gunter, and Helpings of Hostility are fine enough to stay put no matter what. it's the little extra things that makes these experiences so damn fun and special to people y'know?

Hunter: Did he just say Hunter may Gunter? what the hell does that even mean?

Faulinei: Final Question: Hello, this is Hostility, and how did you access these wavelengths, are you in a contract with the playwright?

Maximus: We are Deities, we can access any wavelength we want
Ivuul: Well, hunter isn't a deity, and the shadow trio are just your spawn-
Maximus: DEITIES!

Ivuul: Well, i think that about wraps up todays episode.
Maximus: Well, thank you for coming down here Hunter
Hunter: Not a problem, just please invite me normally next time instead of having void daemons abduct me in a UFO...

Ivuul: Well, be sure to send in more questions for any of us or any possible guests i could get, anyways, have a good day all of you!



callfromthevoidwasfilmedinfrontofalivestudioaudienceofvoiddaemons

 

TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6

Skeletron Prime
Hello~ Ugh, is this **** on?
...
Oh.

Well, I am (uncohomprensible glibberish) and I have two questions
Is Amenhoteph ****Ed beyond Oblivion?
Is Garrun actually blind? For his moves on the physical plane, and his manners of traveling . . .I could adventure he isn't blind. Not completely, at least.
Okay th~ Wait, this **** has been off during the whole ****ing record, is this some kind of~

OKAYWELLBYETHANKSFORRECIEVINGMYMEASSAGESEEYOULATER.
Click
 
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