The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

"Do you think I can possess a robot? Nah I'm trying it anyways." Greyton TRIES to possess a robot.

Look he's testing his ghost powers, don't judge.
 
Demon God Ivuul said:
First things first, i think you need to calm yourself, pretty sure you’re swearing so much that i can physically hear the censoring sound effects…

As for the dream, i know what it means yes. But by orders of the big man himself, i really cannot say much. I will say that the dream was an event that has happened in the past… why you had it i have no idea.
To be honest, i didn’t think i’d hear about that war anymore…
The only people in this land who are allowed to talk about it in fuller detail is Death and Asmodeus, and neither of them will acknowledge it, that much is certain. That event was a dark day for all of us. And the few who remember it want to forget it.
Click to expand...
“What the **** is ‘censoring sound effects’? Also, why can’t you tell me about it, w-what happened?” Varvin looks worried.
 
"Men such as myself are not savages, Alfred."
Phaedra remembers something from his past after watching Varvin display his density, chuckles, and puts the scalpel back in his pocket.
Phaedra picks Magnus up and heads to the crystal, now acknowledging Dollie's question.
"Anywhere but where that mongrel is."
Phaedra geatures towards Varvin with his head.
"Farewell, all. Don't forget my suit!"
Phaedra activates the crystal with Dollie and Magnus.
 
Well, the wait for @TheGuy begins yet again, time for that promised episode.

◄►◄►◄►◄►
Welcome to Helpings of Hostility, that one show where I talk about things.

I thought we cancelled the show...

The playwright passive-aggresively demands otherwise!

How in the land do you passively aggressively demand something? Demanding is a pretty aggressive action.

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. As some more astute listeners may have heard, I recently got my hands on quite the deluxe product, it's not every non-linear day that you get to take command of one the cosmic plaything's worst nightmares, the Ultimate Chimera, Undying Trapper Edition. Now, for the fellows who have been living under a rock, this is a relatively new edition, all things considered, the undying line has existed for a while, it did get recalled from shelves early due to quality concerns, however, and therefore it's quite rare, the undying trapper is basically that edition, but it's been retrofitted with the features of the super limited edition trapper model that virtually no collector ever has opened.

Might I ask why you are geeking out over this of all things, Hostility? I thought you were supposed to have a somewhat muscleheaded personality.

QUIET YOU! OR I'LL LOWER YOUR COMMISSION AGAIN!

Fine... I'll just suspiciously misplace your tax paperwork later... Evil bastard...

Anyway, you might be wondering, "Hostility, what are the features of this amazing toy? And where can I get one?", well, I can tell you the first answer, but not the second, I don't need more competition in securing Chimera models, they are hard enough to get as is.

1)Compared to other chimera models, this one is made out of pure "Nintendium", whatever that stuff is, I hear it's effectively indestructible, they sacrifice 0.001% of the happiness in the universe for every 10kg of the stuff.
2)It has infinite pity passes, for infinite humiliation.
3)It has infinite trapped presents, for endless paranoia.
4)It will instantly go berserk if it finds the poor sod who obtains a missing or replacement part. (Latter option was in the brochure, may not necessarily be accurate)
5)It is sapient.
6)It has personality.

If you are going to gush over a chimera, get a better hobby, like painting space marine minis.

Disregarding that blatant hypocrisy right there, I've basically covered the features, lets get right to question time!

Who would win in a fight, Varvin or Phaedra? -Fight Clubber
Click to expand...

In my opinion, Phaedra, Varvin seems like a pretty suicidal fellow so far, I can understand the frag grenade, that's an honest mistake, but he's thrown himself in situations where if it were any less patient people, he'd be dead.

Well, if he managed to get close, Varvin could probably kill Phaedra pretty easily...

Whatever you say, intern. Next!

Why have you been raiding our place for our super expensive dolls? -Sincerely, Anonymous Wealthy Traditional Resident.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't have 'repossessed' them if you didn't make it so obvious how valuable they were, hiring so many security guards like that. The self-help guides were helpful too, by the way, thanks.

You mean to tell me you stole a whole ton of super rare dolls from those guys to help pay off your debts?

Nah, I just hired some other suckers to do it, I paid them a pretty bad hourly wage. Anyway, next!

FT PENULTIMATE CHIMERA LF ULTIMATE CHIMERA, WILL PAY THE REST IN PURE EC -TraderGhoul389
Click to expand...

I THOUGHT I HAD YOU BLOCKED!

*breakage of random objects is occuring*

Well, while Hostility is raging about traders again, I'll sign this off, feel free to send in questions, and remember, we don't have a letterbox.
 
Yes this is Trader Joe of the royal britainian guard, i have just one question to ask.
VENDOR BANK GUARDS HELP BUYING UC ONLY PAYING BY PURE BLACKROCK MADNESS TRADE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
Ok, I've managed to solve my people's chimera problem now, didn't need anything after all.
-Voidhunter
 
Mr. Fury said:
Well, the wait for @TheGuy begins yet again, time for that promised episode.

◄►◄►◄►◄►
Welcome to Helpings of Hostility, that one show where I talk about things.

I thought we cancelled the show...

The playwright passive-aggresively demands otherwise!

How in the land do you passively aggressively demand something? Demanding is a pretty aggressive action.

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. As some more astute listeners may have heard, I recently got my hands on quite the deluxe product, it's not every non-linear day that you get to take command of one the cosmic plaything's worst nightmares, the Ultimate Chimera, Undying Trapper Edition. Now, for the fellows who have been living under a rock, this is a relatively new edition, all things considered, the undying line has existed for a while, it did get recalled from shelves early due to quality concerns, however, and therefore it's quite rare, the undying trapper is basically that edition, but it's been retrofitted with the features of the super limited edition trapper model that virtually no collector ever has opened.

Might I ask why you are geeking out over this of all things, Hostility? I thought you were supposed to have a somewhat muscleheaded personality.

QUIET YOU! OR I'LL LOWER YOUR COMMISSION AGAIN!

Fine... I'll just suspiciously misplace your tax paperwork later... Evil bastard...

Anyway, you might be wondering, "Hostility, what are the features of this amazing toy? And where can I get one?", well, I can tell you the first answer, but not the second, I don't need more competition in securing Chimera models, they are hard enough to get as is.

1)Compared to other chimera models, this one is made out of pure "Nintendium", whatever that stuff is, I hear it's effectively indestructible, they sacrifice 0.001% of the happiness in the universe for every 10kg of the stuff.
2)It has infinite pity passes, for infinite humiliation.
3)It has infinite trapped presents, for endless paranoia.
4)It will instantly go berserk if it finds the poor sod who obtains a missing or replacement part. (Latter option was in the brochure, may not necessarily be accurate)
5)It is sapient.
6)It has personality.

If you are going to gush over a chimera, get a better hobby, like painting space marine minis.

Disregarding that blatant hypocrisy right there, I've basically covered the features, lets get right to question time!



In my opinion, Phaedra, Varvin seems like a pretty suicidal fellow so far, I can understand the frag grenade, that's an honest mistake, but he's thrown himself in situations where if it were any less patient people, he'd be dead.

Well, if he managed to get close, Varvin could probably kill Phaedra pretty easily...

Whatever you say, intern. Next!



I wouldn't have 'repossessed' them if you didn't make it so obvious how valuable they were, hiring so many security guards like that. The self-help guides were helpful too, by the way, thanks.

You mean to tell me you stole a whole ton of super rare dolls from those guys to help pay off your debts?

Nah, I just hired some other suckers to do it, I paid them a pretty bad hourly wage. Anyway, next!



I THOUGHT I HAD YOU BLOCKED!

*breakage of random objects is occuring*

Well, while Hostility is raging about traders again, I'll sign this off, feel free to send in questions, and remember, we don't have a letterbox.
Click to expand...
Who would win, a wizardy boi, or a chimera boi.
 
Mr. Fury said:
Well, the wait for @TheGuy begins yet again, time for that promised episode.

◄►◄►◄►◄►
Welcome to Helpings of Hostility, that one show where I talk about things.

I thought we cancelled the show...

The playwright passive-aggresively demands otherwise!

How in the land do you passively aggressively demand something? Demanding is a pretty aggressive action.

Anyway, onto the topic at hand. As some more astute listeners may have heard, I recently got my hands on quite the deluxe product, it's not every non-linear day that you get to take command of one the cosmic plaything's worst nightmares, the Ultimate Chimera, Undying Trapper Edition. Now, for the fellows who have been living under a rock, this is a relatively new edition, all things considered, the undying line has existed for a while, it did get recalled from shelves early due to quality concerns, however, and therefore it's quite rare, the undying trapper is basically that edition, but it's been retrofitted with the features of the super limited edition trapper model that virtually no collector ever has opened.

Might I ask why you are geeking out over this of all things, Hostility? I thought you were supposed to have a somewhat muscleheaded personality.

QUIET YOU! OR I'LL LOWER YOUR COMMISSION AGAIN!

Fine... I'll just suspiciously misplace your tax paperwork later... Evil bastard...

Anyway, you might be wondering, "Hostility, what are the features of this amazing toy? And where can I get one?", well, I can tell you the first answer, but not the second, I don't need more competition in securing Chimera models, they are hard enough to get as is.

1)Compared to other chimera models, this one is made out of pure "Nintendium", whatever that stuff is, I hear it's effectively indestructible, they sacrifice 0.001% of the happiness in the universe for every 10kg of the stuff.
2)It has infinite pity passes, for infinite humiliation.
3)It has infinite trapped presents, for endless paranoia.
4)It will instantly go berserk if it finds the poor sod who obtains a missing or replacement part. (Latter option was in the brochure, may not necessarily be accurate)
5)It is sapient.
6)It has personality.

If you are going to gush over a chimera, get a better hobby, like painting space marine minis.

Disregarding that blatant hypocrisy right there, I've basically covered the features, lets get right to question time!



In my opinion, Phaedra, Varvin seems like a pretty suicidal fellow so far, I can understand the frag grenade, that's an honest mistake, but he's thrown himself in situations where if it were any less patient people, he'd be dead.

Well, if he managed to get close, Varvin could probably kill Phaedra pretty easily...

Whatever you say, intern. Next!



I wouldn't have 'repossessed' them if you didn't make it so obvious how valuable they were, hiring so many security guards like that. The self-help guides were helpful too, by the way, thanks.

You mean to tell me you stole a whole ton of super rare dolls from those guys to help pay off your debts?

Nah, I just hired some other suckers to do it, I paid them a pretty bad hourly wage. Anyway, next!



I THOUGHT I HAD YOU BLOCKED!

*breakage of random objects is occuring*

Well, while Hostility is raging about traders again, I'll sign this off, feel free to send in questions, and remember, we don't have a letterbox.
Click to expand...
I like to break the fourth wall!- future character after Varvin is deadified.
 
(Benevolent Tingler)
Tingler slaps the drawing pad a couple times and hands him the drawing.
vx5zWk8.png


Sorry for taking so long i've been extremely distracted by a game.
 
Last edited:
~~~~Radio~~~~


“You’re listening to 13th street radio, welcome to Jones Talks, a segment where we have an interview with people and talk about current events, and now your host-ghost: Jones"
Jones: Good evening everyone out there. We’re listening to Don’t fear the reaper by blue oyster cult if anyone is wondering the background music.

Now, we’ve got a fair bit to talk about tonight on the show, including escaped prisoners, an enigmatic crimelord and chimera, as well as updates on the wars.

So unfortunately as we know the Undying Chimera is out on the prowl and decided to choose our wonderful little afterlife to roam… fantastic.
(continued in next update.)

~~~~The Undying Ultimate Chimera (@Mr. Fury)~~~~
HP: Yes. LVL: 666
Current Location: The Savage Savannah: Grassland


The Undying chimera acts like a satanic santa and gifts various trapped presents to the soul spiders.
He continues onwards to his destination of wizard boi, as he gets closer he surveys his surroundings.
He can:
Go over and mess with the calm herd of Scorpalos
Go over to the nearby ruins
Go over to the nearby giant baobab tree
Or Continue towards wizardboi.

~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/271 LVL 4
Current Location: ???
~~~And~~~
~~~~The Somewhat “Nice” Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 319/440 LVL:4
Current Location: ???
~~~And~~~
~~~~Magnus (@TheGuy)~~~~
HP: 452/452 LVL 2
Current Location: ???
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 200/220 LVL: 3
Current Location: ???


Phaedra with dollie and the still comatose magnus
Alfred: Good luck out there you three
Grimal: Yeah.. best of luck if there's that horrible creature roaming the world now…
Since phaedra didn’t pick a destination, the crystal shoots him,dollie and magnus to Grimwich city (This turn is continued in Brother Garruns turn below.)

Varvin asks for more details about what happened.
Alfred: i’m sorry. Look while i cannot say any more, feel free to relax here if you need a minute of peace, or use the work station over there to make some new items if you want.

And of course whenever you are ready to leave, just go over to the crystal and pick your destination.

~~~~Traumatized Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 301/301 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@Defure)~~~~
HP: 210/210 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields


Greyton: 301/301
Fred: 210/210
VS
Recon Mech: 0/60
Junkin: 100/100

The Recon Mech sounds it’s alarms!
A Junkin drags itself into the battle!
Greyton tries to possess the robot, but greyton isn’t a strong enough ghost to do poltergeistasic activities to inanimate objects with no souls!
Fred shoots the Recon Mech with his silenced sniper rifle, it did 60 damage!
The Recon Mech was scrapped!

~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 250/320
Head HP: 250/300 LVL 1
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard: Truce Town
~~~Party Member: Clockwerk~~~
HP: 600/600 LVL 1


Tingler designs his robot “clockwerk” and soon after Eric quickly gets to work and finishes him! The robot steps out.
Clockwerk has joined Tinglers team! He can feel free to give it orders in battle if he wants to, otherwise it will be controlled by me (Please choose if you would like to control clockwerk or not.)
Eric: There, now say how to your new master… uhh… hello? Why are you not… OH that’s right here.
Eric hands tingler a type of robot with several buttons
Eric: These are the robots personality modifiers, press any button to modify it’s current personality.
(It has been added to your inventory, please look at it to see the possible personalities you want your robot to have.)

~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 200/200 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City


Brother Garrun tries to listen in on the other passing conversations
Skeleton: So that’s asmodeus eh? Pretty intimidating fellow.
Zombie: Oh please, he is just some fancy politician, no one likes those.
Lost Soul: He probably sits in Deaths castle having 5 star meals and enjoying a relaxing day while all the rest of us are deathing in fear due to the paladins…
Ghost: Asmodeus has done a lot of good for us you know, if he says he is leading the charge to deal with the paladins, then i feel a helluva lot safer…
Another Skeleton: You know, i’ve heard rumors that Asmodeus used to serve Satan.
Another Skeleton: Really? But those are just rumors right? Why would Death allow a demon to step into his soil let alone be his second in command?
Dullahan: Maybe Satan is pulling Deaths strings like a puppet ruler?

The nearby moon crystal glows as Phaedra,Dollie and Magnus pop out from it. They see that they were teleported to a town, a bar is nearby, the town gates are in another direction and a building called Hunters Lodge is nearby as well. A huge crowd of people are gathered in the square looking up to a cow skulled man wearing fancy clothes.

Asmodeus: Now then, if any citizens have any combat training and would like to aid the Hands of Death in freeing the city of Alexandria, then please step forwards to the stage.

~~~~Amenhotep (@TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6)
HP: 50/50 LVL 1
Current Location: The Savage Savannah: Abandoned Mohawker Outpost


Amenhotep HP: 50/50
VS
Soul Spider HP: 30/30 [SPECTRAL]

The Soul Spider quickly fires strings of Spitfire Webbing!
Amenhotep uses kite and dodges it!
Amenhotep uses Maul of Ages!
It did 65 damage, the Soul Spider melts away into the air!
YOU WON!
Gained 20 EXP
The Soul Spider dropped a Present, inside was Spirit Silk!

Amenhotep now sits at the ruined outpost, what or where to now?
 
((that was pretty much an overkill))
Phew, now i feel like Neo.
Goddamed beast, how did such a mook cause so much devastation?

He picks up the web, and the present, then opens the present (( and if the Chimera boi dosent reaches him )) he heads towars the castle that he saw in the distance, going on all fours, instead of using the kite.
 
The Ultimate Chimera pisses off the herd of Scorpalo, and then proceeds in the direction of the Wizard Boi, hopefully, with a stampede in tow. And considers visiting the Great Baobab Tree tree later to get a 'fairy' for his quest to end the world... or something...
◄►◄►◄►
The Junkin goes to gourdge Fred, as he's still the only valid target...
◄►◄►◄►
There will probably be a new episode in update after the next one.
 
"Why can't I do anything!" Greyton yells angrily as he just pounds his fists into the punching bag known a Junkin.
 
Varvin shrugs “I guess it’s better off not said. You’re a respectable Alfred, didn’t expect much from a man who controls karma of all things. I’m still :red:ing angry that no one has told me about that dream, but you’ve gotten me the closest. I have nothing to combine so goodbye” he goes up to the crystal “also thanks for saving our :red:es over there.” He then leaves not understanding how the heck the thing works, So he doesn’t specify the location.
 
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