The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

The UUC enters the door...
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Henry immediately uses a strange device and then he immediately starts climbing to the canopies using multiple trees to evenly support his higher-than-average weight...
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Sidenote:While I am handling the unusually Australian fellow's dialogue, don't expect me to be 100% accurate, it seems my ability to be 'Strayan immediately leaves me as soon as I get asked to Aussify dialogue.
 
Ron waves over to them. "Uh hi yes can someone tell me what the :red: is going on?" "Am I dead?" "I hope I'm not dead because, as an atheist, the concept of an 'afterlife' offends me." "Wait holy :red: are you goth deer people!?" "There are FURRIES in H-E-Double-Hockeysticks!? Actually no, that sounds about right." "By the way, have a mentioned how I have no idea what the :red: is going on?"
 
Dollie returns to the crafting table.

"Let's see what I can tailor up here, just like back in the day..."

Dollie begins by weaving together chains so that they fit her body structure. She then weaves white feathers through the chainmail, sewing together a sturdy dress.

"There. A chainmail gown."

Dollie dons the gown before losing control again.

"Oooh, what's this? Such a pretty dress, hee hee!"
 
Sky High said:
Dollie returns to the crafting table.

"Let's see what I can tailor up here, just like back in the day..."

Dollie begins by weaving together chains so that they fit her body structure. She then weaves white feathers through the chainmail, sewing together a sturdy dress.

"There. A chainmail gown."

Dollie dons the gown before losing control again.
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As much as I dislike reigning in on parades. The results from crafting are random, you might wanna be careful, this might just be dismissed as Dollie's imagination and you might wind up getting a result you didn't intend.

While I'm here, may as well post the next episode of helpings, because @Demon God Ivuul enjoys the show.
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Helpings of Hostility: That time where the line of thought gets super clogged up, and schedules get moved forward.
I was sleeping, and you woke me up for this?

You are on contract, and you make me handle your paperwork when that isn't in my job description, I'm literally 'Karma Management' relations with you when I'm not training the actual interns on how to do their job, I've cleared out 89% of the backlog from when I started. I'm not just some unpaid intern, I do get a good salary, unlike you; who signs away unpaid non-linear time for things like an Ultimate Chimera...
This show isn't part of my contract, I like my job and I like to do it my way, now stop bragging about your accomplishments when the rest of your department is laughably incompetent at the lower levels, you may have taken the host role this time, but nobody cares about you still.

Didn't you literally sign away your right to cancel this show for an actually competent Q&A guy who speaks in yellow?
Yeah, didn't you sign off on me being here?
I know you are trying to be smart, but I can still cancel this show, it's called permanent hiatus, it's fancy speak for canceled, anyway, Q&A guy, welcome, now do your job.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
So, a deal with the devil. No personal comments this time, but how do you think it'll go?
-Voidhunter
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Personally, I don't know, it could go both ways, the long countdown does not work in the crimelord's favour though.
I'm still not disclosing the true nature of this deal, but either way assures me a result, and not necessarily in the way you might be thinking of.
Personally, my bets are on the Anubian losing, he's still fragile. Anyway, next question.
So, if we pitted together every single player against each other, what would happen and who would win?
-Anonymous Russian Speaker
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If I were to be honest, my bets are on Greyton, their incorporeal nature is quite troublesome to deal with.
If the people who could deal with them die first, the ghosts definitely have the highest chance of winning, although, I'm not quite sure what would happen with Dollie, they seem to be a poltergeist ghost with an unusual binding to that doll.
I doubt that would ever happen, so it's pointless to speculate on, anyway, next question.
Any personal tips & trick for hunting someone down?
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Your thoughts Hostility?
Yeah, my job isn't to be the hostile...
Well, unless you have some uncanny sense for where your targets are, it's a war of information, if your target finds out you are tracking them before you get to them, good luck, word tends to spread fast if you aren't careful, they can easily find out someone is after them, and set up an ambush, or just straight up go into hiding. Anyway, that's all I feel like disclosing on the subject, next question.
How likely is it Garrun or Phaedra will die?
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Don't know, don't particularly care at the moment. Phaedra may have elevated chances of dying at the moment thanks to a certain devildeal, but that's about it. Next question.
Huh, we appear to have gotten 3 voicemails this time, these fellows must have a representative in high places... The first 2 are from an Ivuul Baalrohne and a Shadowlord Maximus... I'll play the last one after these 2...
Hello there, I am Ivuul Baalrohne, and I am here to alert you that me and the good ol' Shadowlord plan on committing mass infringorinos on your podcast. thanks.

By the way, I have blackrock madness for sale, so uhh... in the words of countless humans, elves and gargish. TRADE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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Honestly, I not very bothered by that, I wasn't the first guy to come up with an idea for a podcast, as for the Shadowlord... It seems like you are just trying to aggravate me for the sake of a joke, I get that the sudden technical difficulties are amusing, but it'd get old if it was from the same cause 3 times in a row...
Eh, it's crossover opportunities I guess...
I guess I'll just play the third voicemail...
Yes, my name is not important, but i would like to know. How much do you think it'd cost to rent the Chimera to torment my little "lab rats"... asking for a future project of mine.
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Oh hey, it's a talking spoiler, I think we may or may not have done deals before... I'd prefer to speak on this topic elsewhere...
What are you on about?
Shut up intern, I'm not violating my contracts over this... Anyway, that was this episode of Helpings of Hostility, it may not have been filled with as much humour this time, probably gonna tell the new guy to shut up about his opinions next time.
HEY!
Shut up new guy, anyway, feel free to send in questions, we don't have a mailbox, goodbye.
 
(Benevolent Tingler)
Tingler hides behind clockwerk, just in case this mohawker guy might actually be angry.
 
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Hi everyone.
First and foremost I want to apologize for not being here for a while. I've had lots of stuff to catch up with and to be honest I just forgot about this forum.
However, I most likely still won't join back in, not yet anyways. I'm currently working on my own TA, and that will probably take a while.
Again, sorry, and thanks for understanding.
 
Grigor was set aback after an Australian came and yelled straight at him. He didn't really understand what was going on, but he took a warning seriously, as he tried to sidewalk to somewhere relatively safer. (Rough translation of Russian into English, I am lazy to write in Russian:) "Russian text would go there...(Thanks, kind o' man. But why are you speaking like that? This seriously is a bit confusing. Also, who's Irwin or somebody like... him.)" He let out an question flow out of his mouth.
 
"See you in the next life, brother."
Phaedra smiles and puts his hat on Magnus's face.
Phaedra steals another hat from a nearby coat rack on his way out the door and puts it on.
Phaedra makes it to the crafting station and combines Ghoul Claws with Silver Bullets.
 
TheGuy said:
Hi everyone.
First and foremost I want to apologize for not being here for a while. I've had lots of stuff to catch up with and to be honest I just forgot about this forum.
However, I most likely still won't join back in, not yet anyways. I'm currently working on my own TA, and that will probably take a while.
Again, sorry, and thanks for understanding.
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((Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have just sold my char soul to get yours, counting on that you would stay comatose . . . . . . .)
 
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