The Land of the Dead (Text Adventure)

For Helpings of Hostility:
"Did you see any weird incidents going on right now? I want to know that, since in our case somebody had just made an nuclear-sized fart from eating too much broccoli.
- Arbiter of Not-a-Game"
 
For Helpings:
I think I'll stop sending you these now, also have a target to take down, I'll catch next one of these, though, that's guaranteed.
-voidhunter
For turn:
2
Fred takes off the scope on his rifle and just looks at what's happening with Tingler after finding a good spot, after a while he puts the scope back on his rifle.
 
???: Imagine, if you will... a vast open plane of stars, never ending nothingness.
Full of Void dwelling daemons, Cosmic Entities, Races travelling through space via metallic discs. a vast dark starry filled plan of various galaxies, and planets.

Watched over by the Shadowlords, Ruled by the Shadowlords, and-

???2: Why are you being dramatic?
???: GAH! Do you mind Baalrohne?! I'm trying to do a dramatic Opening.
Ivuul: Your opening is horrible Maximus.
Maximus: What are you even doing here anyways demon? it's friday, isn't it Haven Bowling night?
Ivuul: well... Scorpion,Snartle and even Cheery no longer wish to bowl with me. on account of me uhh... cheating nonstop...
Maximus: Of course. So i guess you're here just to sit on my couch and attempt to steal it from me as usual right?
Ivuul: I mean, what else is there to do around the void, it's a pretty boring place.
Maximus: Anyways, disregard the Satanic pain in my neck-
Ivuul: You don't have a neck, you're just a blob.
Maximus: I CAN HAVE A NECK IF I WANT A NECK GOD DAMMIT... *Ahem* Anyways, My name is Shadowlord Maximus. i am the Shadowlord who watches over the Void that you "Humans of earth" call the Milky way Galaxy. I am your lord whether you accept me or not.
Ivuul: Unless your of gargish descent or Britainian Descent, No one will fear you Blobby.
Maximus: I just... *deep sigh* Could you please just.. leave, i am trying to start a podcast here.
Ivuul: A Podcast? well why didn't you just say so. Greetings mortal kind, my name is Ivuul Baalrohne, Current Demon God of my realm. and now that i know what is going on, Say hello to this podcasts Co-host!
Maximus: Oh god please no..
Ivuul: Oh yes.
Now then humans who may hear this podcast, Be sure to send in questions and calls and I will personaly answer them.
Oh and i guess Maximus might answer some.

Maximus: MIGHT?! THIS IS MY DAMN SHOW!
Ivuul: Also, perhaps if you wish to ask something of someone else, we could probably get ahold of some other fan favorite characters from this little ongoing chess game called "Life". Anyone from Neibreth or the Shadowlord trio could be easily gotten.
Could probably track down hunter as well if anyone ever wanted to ask him anything.


Until then, Goodbye.
Maximus: Well, now that the wretched hellspawn is done hijacking my signal, i can finally start my ASMR Shadowlord plays mario kart podcast, FINALLY.
Shadowlord Faulinei: So sorry m'lord, but we are out of time.
Maximus: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DAMN THIS ALL!

(Be sure to send in any questions to Ivuul,Maximus or perhaps some other Text Adventure characters if you have any! yes, this forum game supports a forum game, a radio, and TWO podcasts, we are just packing in everything for this one!)
 
((In a fight between Amenhoteph and Phaedra, who would win?
And
Do you think the Anubi actually has any good chance of winning?
AnonymousAnubiASMR64))
(YES IT'S FOR THE PODCAST)
 
For the new podcast, from someone new:
Hope you accept non-humans without a homeworld as well, but do you have any idea where I might find the voidhunter? I have some business with him.
-G̶̵̷̠̮̺̞̗͇͕̱̥̬̹̤̮͕͘o̶͏̝͎̳̪̘̻̩̪͝͡d̡͟͡҉̮͔̺͇͕̭̩h̥͉̤̞̯̭̺̜̜̝̘̰͍̀͟͢͟u̧҉̴͇̯̙̣̥̮͉̖͉͉͖̞̻̮̟̪n̸̴̶͉̮̣̫̪̹͕̦͓̟̫̫̜͈̳̦͍̠t̸͠҉̛̫̜͖̝̲͍͍͇͇̫͖̱̖̗̪̼͜ͅe͎̰̺̘͖͍̙̱͉̖̙̝͕̭̹̠̗͟͟ͅͅr͙̞͍͈̘̥͖̻̱̻̥̘͈̣̱̱͉͢ͅͅ
 
Questions for the Void Podcast
◄►◄►◄►
Hi, this is ◄NAME REDACTED► from the Helpings of Hostility podcast, you might also know me as the 'karma intern', how long until this whole diversionary podcast while waiting for updates thing gets out of hand? If somebody else tried this, do you think that the powers that be decide that these need to be shutdown in favour of the game?

Hello, this is Hostility, and how did you access these wavelengths, are you in a contract with the playwright?
◄►◄►◄►
On a side note, I do hope that these remain the only 2 'podcasts', otherwise the 'powers that be' might raise their eyebrow even further if this becomes more podcasts than actual game.
 
A question for Hunter and (if possible) Goresby-Purrvis:

"Hi, hello, hi, where are you right now? Destroying settlements and restoring them has gotten boring."
 
~~~~Radio~~~~

Now Playing: Creepy Doll by Jonathan Coulton


~~~~The Undying Ultimate Chimera (@Mr. Fury)~~~~
HP: 1,000/1,000 LVL: 666
Current Location: ???



The chimera opens the door and a flash of light appears
???: The savage beast, it knows not why it is here. It wasn’t employed. Who employs the dead?
???2: The creature, it it nothing more than the same fate as all the other “survivors” in this world.
???: It is dead.
???2: And this is nothing more than an endless purgatory for it’s soul.
???: Do you think it can even hear us anymore?
???2: Do you think it can even do anything anymore?

???: Little Chimera, You are strong yes. You are feared. But you are far weaker than you used to be.
???2: It’s so caught up in it’s past that it doesn’t even know it’s own health anymore.
???: Open your eyes Chimera.

The Chimeras HP has been Revealed!
???: It probably still thinks it’s invincible too doesn’t it?
???2: It is to most, but to the things in it’s own mind, it is only weak to.

The noises of Clocks ticking finally stopped.

The Chimera wakes up. It looks around, it hears its bird chirping alarmingly. As it looks up it sees two white eyes staring from the darkness, a twisted sharp toothed smile forms as a it lunges from the darkness. It lets out a blood curdling howl as it now stands in the light, it’s a pitch black shadowy humanoid. Seemingly with long claws similar to a ghoul. The chimera, knowing that he can withstand anything growls to try to scare it, the creature let’s out it’s howl and slashes at the chimera with its claw.

The chimera…. Backs off. He felt… Pain! The creature prepares to attack!


A Panphobia draws near!

The chimera realizes something as it looks at itself… it… it doesn’t appear to be rotten! He.. he is pink! The Chimera is once again in his original fleshing self! But he doesn’t feel quite right…

WARNING! The chimeras stats and even abilities have been changed! I urge you to look at them and be careful!

~~~~Amenhotep (@TheSpeluknerv3.6.5.8.6)~~~~
HP: 50/50 LVL 1
Current Location: The Savage Savannah: Old Shack
UPDATE 2/25 until AFK Farmable



As Amenhotep reads about the spell he finds, he learns the spell: Frizzle! It has been added to your usable abilities.
Amenhotep enters the nearby basement, nothing in it but a dead tree that as started growing in the basement due to the ground being dirt.
Although there is a dark corner nearby, investigate for the potential of hidden items?

~~~~The Despicable Varvin Arthan (@Person999)~~~~
HP: 231/271 LVL 4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City



Varvin did not respond to the guard, the guard is now getting suspicious...

~~~~The Somewhat “Nice” Phaedra (@Madder)~~~~
HP: 319/440 LVL:4
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Dollie (@Sky High)~~~~
HP: 200/220 LVL: 3
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City
~~~And~~~
~~~~Brother Garrun (@IHATETHISSIGNUP / Jedinate)~~~~
Body HP: 210/210
Head HP: 200/200 LVL:2
Current Location: The Overgrowth: Grimwich City



Garrun crafts together his crossbow with silver bullets and malachite chunks. Got the Malachite Masher.
Dollie tries to make a chainmail dress through the use of chains and feathers
The armor ends up being weirdly razor sharp, this doesn’t affect dollie and i doubt she probably minds.
Got the Razor Dress

Phaedra puts his hat onto magnus. then leaves but not before taking another hat from the nearby hatrack.

Phaedra combines some silver bullets with Ghoul claws, the magical crafting table turns it into a Ghoul Gauntlet!

Anyone can try to do more crafting or head off to the gate. Unless there is anything else the group would need to do right now.

~~~~Traumatized Greyton (@Xmax360)~~~~
HP: 301/301 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields
~~~And~~~
~~~~Fred (@Defure)~~~~
HP: 210/210 LVL: 2
Current Location: Pumpkin Yard Autumn Fields



Fred and Greyton manage to get to a point where they can see tinglers fight with big henry.
Greyton is cheering on the mohawker.

~~~~Benevolent Tingler (@Deputy Hue)~~~~
Body HP: 250/330
Head HP: 250/300 LVL 1
Current Location: Overgrowth: Crossroads near Pumpkin Yard
~~~Party Member: Clockwerk~~~
HP: 600/600 LVL 1



Tingler: 250/330 250/300
Clockwerk: 600/600
VS
Big Henry: 300/300 [PSI SHIELD]

Tingler hides behind Clockwerk, because he fears that Big Henry MIGHT be angry, but it hasn’t been confirmed yet.
Clockwerk quickly scans big henry so that tingler can have some information.

Clockwerk: Well, the scan says he is a tough guy who works out. And not only that but he reads them books…. Ohhhh.. OOHHHHHH NOOOOooo.. He is both BRAIN AND BRAWN! I know we only knew each other for a short time, but it’s been a good run.
I think he will try to bash us with his great big hammer, and No, that is not a euphemism for something else… My sensors are also indicating you don’t really want to fight him. What’re ya goin soft? …. Alright, He’s a smart fellow, so we could try to talk to him if he wasn’t so enraged, i suggest we try to tire him out or try to weaken him, then maybe we can try to talk some sense into him. The latter is preferable since i think he is somehow getting MORE energy by the moment...


Big Henry used a PSI Shield generator! The device created a psychic shield that surround Big Henry, it will prevent PSI from harming him and protect against lesser magic!
Big Henry then starts climbing the nearby Trees.

~~~~Fedora Ron (@Matthus)~~~~
HP: 107/107 LVL 1
Current Location: Hell: Ruinous Road



The Deer women notice ron as he comes out to ask questions, the small beetle thing looks at him.
Imp: GAH, IT’S THE THING! THE THING I KICKED WHILE IT WAS PASSED OUT.
Deerablo A: Finally, some fun…
The two Deerablo pull out spears and large wooden shields, the shields have a green glowing picture of a face with star glasses and an afro spray painted onto their shields.
Imp: i’ll just uhh.. Sit over here and watch you ladies deal with him.
Deerablo B: You’re not going to help us?
Imp: I’m a worker class daemon, you ladies are Warrior class… SO MAKE LIKE A GOOD LITTLE KNIGHT AND PROTECT THE WORKER!

Two Deerablo are looking for a fight!


Ron: 107/107 [DISCO]
VS
Deerablo A: 60/60 [DISCO]
Deerablo B: 60/60

The Deerablo get the first strike!
Deerablo A is guarding with her Shield.
Deerablo B casted Death by Disco, a Floating Disco ball is now in play onto the battlefield!

~~~~Grigor (@Halt)~~~~
HP: 325/325 LVL 1
Current Location: Savage Savannah: Near the Forest of Ropes



Grigor questions the skeleton as he dodges the scorpalo herd, the skeleton leaps off and rushes to town, grigor still trying to question him manages to get his attention before he runs off, the skeleton looks a grigor. again, any dialogue from this skeleton will be made by Mr. Fury, so ask your questions carefully.

~~~~Magnus (@TheGuy)~~~~
HP: 452/452 LVL 2
Current Location: A hotel Bed in Grimwich City.


Magnus is no longer playing due to him decided not to come back before feb 1st arrived, as part of my plan stated in the discord server, he is removed from the game and once the devil deal between the chimera and amenhotep is done, he will be completely removed from the game one way or another.
 
The UUC casts PSI Shield Omega, it then does a roar(see;Warcry) rather than a weak growl. (I'm not gonna go in for an attack yet, I want to guage how this thing behaves)
◄►◄►◄►
Big Henry jumps out of the trees to bash in Clockwerk through momentum with his sledge. Perhaps knock said robot into Tingler while he's at it.
◄►◄►◄►
Deerablo's A & B both firebomb Ron.
◄►◄►◄►
What do you mean my Chimera was restored to original condition? That's probably gonna increase it's value tenfold.
 
Ron raises his shotgun. "Woah woah woah, back up, deer woman! I've got a possibly loaded gun that I definitely don't not know how to not use!" "Let's calm down and talk this out like rational thinking adults."
 
*Garrun crafts together a Cowrantula Hide, some iron chains, a Scorpalo Horn, and a bottle of poison in an attempt to create a makeshift dagger, and then heads over the gate.*
 
A fire spell huh? It's even more powerful than my Maul. . . .
Fire Sparks blow from his fingertips. . . He sees the dark corner
I want to go there, but it's quite dark. And I don't want to face any of the dark terror.
He uses the Frizzle on the tree, attempting to get more light and goes to the dark corner.
 
Grigor looks at the skeleton with the sense of gratitude and unsated curiosity. "Morning, so is there anything interesting to where do you were going to head off? I think you know about the locals..." The sight of skeleton had only made him ponder, but not scare.
 
The skeleton responds to Grigor.

Ah yeh, g'day mate, I see ye' got outta the way, saw anotha' mate get trampled by them few months back, poor drongo was screaming about some pumpkin conspiracy or somethin'. Anywho, headin' to New Cambra over there, nice little town fulla good blokes, keep yer wits about ya though, some a them don't like foreigners. But if ye' do go, there's a real 'outback steakhouse', don't go there, it's a tourist trap, you'll want to check out the bottle shop run by a poor fellow who can't git his piss on, there's also Smith's Smithery, they don't sell bonza potatah chips though, sorry, there's also a servo station even though there's no cars around, consider grabbing a meat pie, oh, and don't go to woolies though, they ain't quite so fresh here in the afterlife.

Anyway, name's Dan, wot's yours?


(Australian to Real Engish: Good day friend, I see you managed to avoid the crazy scorpalo herd, saw another guy get trampled by them a while back, the idiot was screaming about some conspiracy with pumpkins. Anyway, I'm heading to new Canberra, town is full of nice people, be careful though, some of the locals don't like foreigners.

If you do go, there's a real outback steakhouse, I recommend you don't go there due to it being a tourist trap, there's also an alcohol vender run by a guy who can't even drink, Smith's Smithery is also there, a shame it doesn't sell the amazing potato chips though, a useless gas station is there, consider grabbing a pie from there, they are lovely, lastly, don't go to Woolworths, they aren't so fresh in the afterlife.

Anyway, my name is Dan, what is yours?)
 
Last edited:
"I'm afraid we just joined the army."
Phaedra looks at the back of Garrun's head.
"He's the one we want on our side."
Phaedra equips the gauntlet he amazed himself by making and heads for the gate.
 
Back
Top Bottom