The Last Post Wins!

Mobile forums in a nutshell:
Player: *clicks spoiler*
Forums: 'why would you like to report this thread?'
Player: 'wait what?' *scrolls back up*
Forums: 'you have highlighted this piece of text at the other end of the screen'
Player: 'EH?' *tries to click off text*
Forums: 'you have liked this post in the same vertical axis as where you clicked'
Player: 'have i? Oh well, good for them'
Forums: 'you just slid the page left, revealing a white void and new vertical and horizontal planes for me to click more buttons'
Player: *clicks next page*
Forums: 'which message would you like me to add to multiquote?'
Player: 'excuse me?'
Forums: 'opening alerts'
Player: 'i can't see now' *clicks off alerts*
Forums: 'copying link'
Player: *finally gets in to the next page*
Also player: *scrolls*
Forums: *jutters page vigorously*
Player: *clicks everything in that axis* 'oof'
Also player: 'clicks spoiler'
Also also player: 'bUt It DiDn'T wOrK'
Forums:....
Player: 'oh god what did i click...'
Player: *continues to try to open spoilers*
Player: 'hmmm....'
Forums: 'reporting thread'
Player: 'ASDFGHYYRDFHJUYRDDTUIFE57878900000009876545*££&::*##&*"' /!! ((_4=%-&&@'£#444444'
 
Mobile forums in a nutshell:
Player: *clicks spoiler*
Forums: 'why would you like to report this thread?'
Player: 'wait what?' *scrolls back up*
Forums: 'you have highlighted this piece of text at the other end of the screen'
Player: 'EH?' *tries to click off text*
Forums: 'you have liked this post in the same vertical axis as where you clicked'
Player: 'have i? Oh well, good for them'
Forums: 'you just slid the page left, revealing a white void and new vertical and horizontal planes for me to click more buttons'
Player: *clicks next page*
Forums: 'which message would you like me to add to multiquote?'
Player: 'excuse me?'
Forums: 'opening alerts'
Player: 'i can't see now' *clicks off alerts*
Forums: 'copying link'
Player: *finally gets in to the next page*
Also player: *scrolls*
Forums: *jutters page vigorously*
Player: *clicks everything in that axis* 'oof'
Also player: 'clicks spoiler'
Also also player: 'bUt It DiDn'T wOrK'
Forums:....
Player: 'oh god what did i click...'
Player: *continues to try to open spoilers*
Player: 'hmmm....'
Forums: 'reporting thread'
Player: 'ASDFGHYYRDFHJUYRDDTUIFE57878900000009876545*££&::*##&*"' /!! ((_4=%-&&@'£#444444'
As someone who's (non-phone) computer has less computing power than an onion and less RAM than a ram, I can relate.
 
I can do a replacement:
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket
I put my Walkman on and said
"I might as well kick it"

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop
Standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it"
– "Yo, home to Bel-Air"

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie
"Yo home smell ya later"
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air
 
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