Weird solutions to ordinary problems!

If life is your problem then start clapping at precisely 173 bpm in a 8/11 time signature.

I cannot give a proper answer to the above problem without effectively saying to kill yourself which would be a :red: move.
 
"swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality" - Capitalist Luigi

My family doesn't understand that big chungus is, in fact, funny
 
Go lay on the train tracks, and when you hear the Clickity Clack of the train, you know you'll be falling asleep permanently soon

I can't wait for Christmas
 
Slam it on the floor of your garage and throw eggs at it. If you do not have a garage, find one that isn't yours and steal it.

My phone will turn on.
 
Put it in a frying pan with a mix of Pepsi, vodka, olive oil, and ice, fry it on max heat until it bursts into flame, then shoot at it.

I have cleaning I need to do.
 
vacuum everything in your house.

well you seem to not be able to see a lot of things considering you missed the post above yours, so maybe look into going to an eye doctor.

I don't know if I was supposed to respond to both problems.
just obtain anxiety and assume you did the wrong thing. nothing bad ever came of doing that in every scenario!

I don't celebrate Christmas, and the entire internet is just Christmas stuff.
 
Capture a dolphin and implant it with technology, then install an emulator on it and have the dolphin catch shinies for you.


I feel hungry.
 
Convince him to keep drinking until he's not one. That way even if he's mean while drunk, he'll eventually die from alcohol poisoning.

I should be sleeping right now, but I'm not.
 
sleep? what's that? hahahahaHAHAHAHA I'M NOT CRAZY HAHAHAHEEHEEHOOHAHAHAHA
(the answer is to hide the pain)

Geometry is way too hard
 
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