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A baking soda volcano.

But the size of an actual volcano.

If you've read the fallout lore, you'd probably know that vault-tec's main goals were money and doing crazy experiments. I'd probably convince the whole world that we've run out of oil and that there is extreme radiation. Then I would build the vaults and do the experiments.

I would genetically modify a goose to make it talk

Look At My Answer For Day 6

genetically modify pineapples to be the shape of derplings WITH ARMS, and create a speaking pineapple derpling arm army to assasinate all humans. ethics are not an issue