あやかし (Ayakashi)

I'm more or less just a typical nerd, nothing too special or new — it would be quite the surprise for me to meet someone who just wants to know me for who I was, am, and will be, someone who just wants to get to know me better just because. Of course, I don't find myself interesting — nor do I have a particular interest in anything or anyone else, honestly. It's kinda.. boring, really, not taking an earnest interest in essentially anything at all — maybe I can't, maybe I just haven't found anything I truly find intriguing, or maybe I just don't care enough anymore to feel anything genuine anymore.. or perhaps I never felt anything genuine and I actually always cared about absolutely squat — who's to say, if not me myself? It's possible that someone will get to know me, all of (the) me(s) — if there ever ends up being such a person, I pity them for holding such a fate in the river of destiny because there are aspects of my "self" that even I would rather not be aware of. You wanna get to know me? You're gonna havta start in the "outer layers" of the fragmented "persona-self" that I may or may not refer to as a plural "us" at times, depending on how coherent of a single "self" I feel like on that occasion. One day, I might be steadfastly against something, and the next, I might be zealously supporting it — at times I think I really can be that unpredictable, and at other times I'm fairly consistent. I'm just downright unpredictable, even with regards to me foretelling my own actions. So there ya go, I went on a rant about how uncertain/insecure/whiny/random/hopeless I am and put it here for anyone to read.

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"Often when we guess at others' motives, we reveal only our own."