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“Can I borrow your phone for a minute?”

By the way, I don’t have a phone.

*shotgun reload noises intensify*

I would be holding it, and snatching is i l l e g a l so I would catch it, give them a death glare, and go back to whatever I was doing

“Mate, what do you think you’re doing grabbing my phone and throwing it at the floor? You think the floor is gonna catch it? Because it won’t catch you when I drop you.”

I would punt them into the heavens, where they would glitter away like team rocket

I almost forgot team rocket did that. I might need to start watching pokemon again because it was hilarious.

Make a voodoo doll of them, to summon the wall of flesh.

Laugh like a madman because my case protects the screen

I'd just pick it up, my case is protecting the screen and even when it's not, I accidentally dropped this thing on the ground like 3 times and the screen isn't damaged so I think it might have special protection somehow

consume them, obviously

I don't have a phone... so I would think they are insane

"Finally, an excuse to get a new phone."

Decapitation.

I would be like
“Mate are you cool? You okay? And if it is broken, are you going Ron pay for the repairs”
Read it in a British accent, but it isn’t a good one because I can only say the word British in a British accent really good lol

I'd be indifferent. "Meh, didn't use it much, not big of loss."