ask me anything about old aperture.

[Cave Johnson]

ask me anything

 

[Kane Schmitz]

Are there dead bodies inside the companion cubes?

 

[Cave Johnson]

uh... yes. in the olden days, we were extremely poor and testing was illegal. we had to hide them somehow.
that why we call them "weighted" storage cubes. of course, aperture back then doesn't exist now, so we are out of the dangerous zone.

 

[Tibithia Σ]

Where is your body stored?

 

[Cave Johnson]

I am stored in a personality core stuck inside of aperture forever.

I wish I never brought this up...

 

[The Owler]

How did you manage to invent Multiversal travel in your universe? As the Interdimensional Warrior, I am quite curious how you (and your company) could achieve such a momentous task in your time.

 

[Cave Johnson]

We Discovered A material in space that was actually able to conduct portals. we put some of the material inside of a machine
"which was made before the material, which was an invention of a new leaf blower when I was a child and was stored in my office closet for some reason" and Walla!! it makes portals. we started mass producing them for testing purposes and that's what inspired me to stop selling shower curtains and start selling some inventions! none of them were actually released though. who knows, maybe that could have been the future right there!

 

[Tibithia Σ]

Do you mind sending the Fact Core over to my place?

 

[Cave Johnson]

no, I wouldn't mind. fill your mind with knowledge! alot of people need some knowledge right now... heh.

 

[Kane Schmitz]

no, I wouldn't mind. fill your mind with knowledge! alot of people need some knowledge right now... heh.

People Have knowledge, plenty of it. They just refuse to use it.

 

[Calen]

I'm still waiting for my $60, cash. I believe that was the deal, for testing in the 70s, no?

 

[Cave Johnson]

Um...

 

[Calen]

In the words of Judge Judy "Um is not an answer, sir"

 

[Cave Johnson]

Would a giant aperture logo sign work? I heard radiation is the bomb nowadays. "No pun intended"

 

[The Owler]

Would a giant aperture logo sign work? I heard radiation is the bomb nowadays. "No pun intended"

Gone bankrupt again, I see.

 

[Tibithia Σ]

Don't worry. They can just scam the multiverse a second time.

 

[Cave Johnson]

Well, the whole place is absolutely destroyed and I don't have much, so...

 

[The Owler]

Don't worry. They can just scam the multiverse a second time.

𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒐𝒏?

 

[Tibithia Σ]

Oh wait, wrong Cave.

 

[Cave Johnson]

𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒐𝒏?

What it's all X's on my screen