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FLORIDA HAS LEGALISED THE KIDNAPPING AND EXECUTION OF ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN TO OHIO AFTER CONTAMINATING THE WATERWAYS!
 
Breaking News: Super Why and Alpha Pig obtain immense power through several instances of tax fraud!
(EDIT: it turns out this was my 1618th message, same year as the Second Defenestration of Prague. Coincidence? I think not!!)
 
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BREAKING NEWS: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, EVERY COUNTRY IN SOUTH AND CENTRAL AMERICA, AND CANADA HAVE UNITED TO BECOME THE UNITED AMERICAS.
 
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