Plague

@Pixel Is that so? I apologize for wasting your time then. ^^"
Though if you ever get a moment, would you mind elaborating on my shortcomings so that I don't make the same mistake again?
 
I would have spoke my mind, but what you wrote was very long to have me write a response to each one. Sorry about that. Anyway, do you want to be subscribed to the next chapters?
 
Oh ok, that's fine then. I was just wondering if you wanted me to have your name tagged each time a new chapter came up in the story, that's all.
 
I found this really enjoyable. Of course I have the usual critiques. Detail is great it illustrates the most amazing and authentic imagery in a readers mind that is honestly brilliant. However, (brutally honest opinion incoming) too much detail is just fluff. Whilst fluff is great filler sometimes things just need to be a bit meatier. I noticed that personally people may or may not disagree. Other than that (sigh of relief) it was great. I believe the best line was "Wooden trees." Guess it makes sense because not all trees have to be wooden. Speciesism.
 
Not all trees in the land of fiction are wooden, actually, there can perfectly be loads of different tree types. As well as that, I added enough description for the reader to be engaged and so they could picture the sene, but not too much. My opinion is that you are not used to this level/quantity of description, and your judgement is therefore stirred in the wrong way. Thanks for the feedback, though.
 
Pixel said:
Not all trees in the land of fiction are wooden, actually, there can perfectly be loads of different tree types. As well as that, I added enough description for the reader to be engaged and so they could picture the sene, but not too much. My opinion is that you are not used to this level/quantity of description, and your judgement is therefore stirred in the wrong way. Thanks for the feedback, though.
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The whole tree thing is precisely what I was mentioning in my post. Just thought it was intriguing you specified. Also "not too much" is an opinion and not factual. Something engaging and involving to a reader doesn't have to be detailed so extensively. I assume that is already present information to you. This is an overused ideology circulating around texts but I shall use it any way: Too much detail stops the reader from painting their own mental image. It hinders the ability to think critically or positively of character decisions and the narrative itself. Keep in mind this is my opinion and is subject to total disbelief.
 
Well, in my opinion I haven't put too much detail, but we are all entitled to our own opinions and to speak them out. Honestly, I may have tipped over the bar once or twice, but it's nothing to be overly concerned about. Basically, I think I did a good job of not overwhelming, neither leaving an unelaborated piece, but keeping it weighed well on the scales. I think now it's just a case of opinion and personal experience.
 
<Thread Update>

Those who are eager to dive in and read the next chapter, bucket of salty popcorn in hand, I'm afraid that'll have to wait. Seeing as the holidays are coming up and I'm planning a move back to Angleterre -- England -- things will get a little busy. See you then!

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I am practically English, or I wish I could be confirmed in that way. And yeah, best country ever. I've got myself a house a good mile or two away from Bond Street. Should be fun.

Ok enough about my moving, I wouldn't want to derail my own thread.
 
Great story! quite a bit more descriptive than mine, and i only found one grammatical error
Pixel said:
When five hours passed, and night became to spread across the skies, Bluebeard began to grow tired and went to head back home.
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I think you might want to make is say; and night began to spread across the skies.
@Teal has a point as well, a little bit too descriptive for me.
But seriously, it's amazing so far! Tag me for more chapters.
 
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Again, it's all about experience and opinion with the whole descriptive factor. Either way, thanks for the feedback. And yes, I meant 'began', a sky becoming spread over the skies is a little weird.
 
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