Oh, my.Hey, Xeno. Wanted to pop by and check things out after I saw your ad. I'm impressed.
The writing style is hard to describe. It's cohesive, feels very smooth. Clean, if you will. I like it. The problem being clean is interesting to a degree; add a few decorations and designs to your canvas, that will break the uninterrupted cleanliness.
I heard someone talk about hooks, those narrative devices you use to pull a reader in, within your first sentence. I'd recommend experimenting with those too.
Overall the writing is very good, you fuel progression quite well with your "cleanliness." It makes things move almost a little too fast though, so slow it down with those designs and decorations I suggested before.
Narrative Devices, Figurative Language, and most importantly Word Variation, could be those "designs and decorations."
I've been keeping an eye on things. Just wanted to give some support to an aspiring writer with talent.Oh, my.
This is quite a shock.
You come out of the shadows for the first time in weeks to commend my writing.