Absorb The Non-Issue

The exact opposite of Dodge The Attack, in your turn you somebow die to the above persons perfectly normal thing, and do something reasonable for NP to die to. Example Time!

P1: I take a poo
P2: I eat the poo and die
P2: I sit down
P3: I dive under you and am squished
P3: I eat a sandwich

To start, die to me eating a sandwich.

 

I jump in your sandwich and am crushed by your mandibles

I read a book

 

It's the necronomicon.

I do target practice with live ammo.

 

I jump in front of them
I listen to music

 

I take out your earbuds and you shoot your laser eyes at me.

I lay in my bed

 

There's a button to launch nukes in it.

I cut a piece of meat.

 

The piece of meat is my last horcrux (Harry Potter reference)

I see a rainbow

 

You refract the light right onto my eyes
I trip

 

Your hand hits me and I fall over into the military mine fiend.

I step on your hand

 

I die of bloodloss
I fart

 

I suffocate from the lack of oxygen

I write “hi’ on a whiteboard

 

You summon a spirit by doing so and kill us all
I dance

 

I lose my sanity from your horrible dancing skills go to an asylum and slowly rot away

I upload this post

 

It makes me commit suicide.

I commit suicide.

 

Your coffin falls on me
I look at memes

 

You look at a forbidden meme that kills me when seen.

I take a sip of water.

 

You sucked 1000% of my body's water and I die from dehydration
I blink

 

All the dust flies out from your eyes and into my lungs. I die of an asthma attack.
I eat toast.

 

I was actually morphing into my bread form when you put me in the toaster
I died.

 

I have a heart attack from shock
I mess around on these fourms