Story Another Terraria

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Yay! It finally happened! I'll post more later since I need to finish editing the next few chapters (pls dun hurt me :_: :)).

This is my new literature project! I'll still continue to write poems, but this will be the main focus for now. Happy reading!

A boy floated into the center of a seemingly endless expanse of darkness.

Where am I?

Who am I?


A laughing voice in the darkness answered him.

Your name is Ethan Ethoreh.

Good luck.

A flash of light blinded him. And then Ethan was no longer there. And just as suddenly as light had appeared, it vanished, replaced by a pale blue sky. A blanket of clouds stretched out beneath Ethan.

Uhhh...

And then he fell.

The clouds blurred by Ethan as he plummeted through the sky. A grassy hill with a solitary tree rushed up to meet him. "I hope the grass cushions this fall," he dimly thought. He was wrong. At breakneck speed, he burrowed face-first into the soil. Tasting dirt, he tried to get up, but a burning pain in his skull made him black out.

Wake up.

Uggggh. Sleepy.

Wake up!

Ethan gasped. With his groggy eyes, he could make out a tall old man in the shade of the tree. He was seemingly on the verge of death. In another time, he might have passed as rugged and mighty, but a patchwork of scars and several bandages told otherwise.

"Are you all right?" the man asked.

"No, and who are you?" Ethan asked.

"That doesn't matter right now. Get up right now and follow me."

"But I just said I wasn't feeling all right. Are you crazy?" Ethan exclamined.

"If you value your life, kid, get up quickly and follow me."

After being helped up by the old man, they took off down the hill together. When a few minutes of running in silence had passed, Ethan asked the old man again.

"Who are you?"

"The name's Deg. And keep your mouth shut, or they'll find-"

"I am SICK of you trying to be all mysterious! Who'll find me, you old geezer? Well? Well? WE-"

KABOOM! A blinding flash of light filled his vision. A second later, a searing wall of white flames formed a circle around them, turning the ground into blackened ash. Towering above the soon-to-be flambé humans was a gigantic metal thing that would've made grown Spartans cry for their mommies. A gleaming red eye glared down on them, radiating waves of pure mavolence. Twin massive chainguns sprouting from its arms were trained on the two men. A moment later, three more mechanical monstrosities joined the first one, each with weapons drawn.

"They are the ones that will find you," sighed Deg.
 
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Hey, hey, hey. Haven't heard from you in a while, Cookie. It's nice to see a bit of your own literature, I really like your work. Once you've released more chapters, I'll form a proper critique. Until then!
 
Cookie!!! God, I love you. Here's: my critique:
I actually really enjoyed this story, it seemed really creative. The usage of imagery in this story is impressive, and the detail was spot on. I did enjoy the humorous qualities, but, I feel as if the story had lots of potential to be devolved and fleshed out more. I await the next installment(s), and can likely provide a more detailed critique at the time.
Feed me, Cookie, feed me.
 
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