Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but it's missing all it's assets.
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, and is not poisonous.
 
Granted, but it's only 1 bite.
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, not poisonous and will not turn into a man when I bite into it.
 
Granted but it turns into a cantaloupe as soon as you bite into it.
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, not poisonous and will not turn into a man or a woman when I bite into it.
 
Granted but it repels dudes (not ArmyFrogs so I'm still safe. Then yet again I have a girlfriend soo...)
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, not poisonous and will not turn into a man, woman or a spider when I bite into it.
 
Granted but it turns into a scorpion when yyou bite into it.

I Wish for less living space.
Granted, but you suffocate.
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, not poisonous and will not turn into a man, woman, spider, scorpion, or any other thing when I bite into it.

I get the one hundredth page! YAY!
 
Granted but it teleports away when you bite into it.

I wish for immortality.
Granted but you live one boring, boring life.
I wish for a cantaloupe fruit that is not burning, not rotting, not poisonous and nothing will happen besides getting an actual bite when I bite into it.
 
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