Gone Horrifically Wrong/Right

At a very poor time, as when you go outside, it would be during a rather severe thunderstorm, with you being struck by lightning after a couple minutes.

I try to open a portal to Shadowfell.
 
Apparently, it's a portal to your deepest nightmares, but they're true. One of them gets you killed, another, trapped in a loop to be killed over and over.

I try to open a portal to Equestria.
 
You are successful, however, the Equestria you end up in is currently in a state of war as Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon are both sending ponies to fight and die for them with no regard to the lives of their subjects. And you are quickly conscripted, and sent to fight.

I set a bottle on a shelf.
 
The bottle falls down on you, breaking upon your head and somehow fracturing your skull. It reaches through and punctures your brain, killing you in 3 minutes, before you can even make it to the hospital.

I make some pavlova
 
It's absolutely fantastic. Except for how someone misread it as pavlava, leading to it accidentally having actual lava added as an ingredient, which you only discover after you start eating it...

I decide to start over on a fanfiction.
 
But you accidentally ended up reading detailed instructions on how to commit the worst crimes imaginable and the FBI and every country's police force is after you...

I lay down in bed.
 
And the explosives-sweater wearing MrChainChomp actually didn't blow up. In fact, there was an ability to conjure some under you, which caused you to blow up and of course be unable to type out your other part.

I cram the subjects for the exams.
 
Unfortunately, somehow this ends up going horrifically wrong in that all of the papers for your exams get crammed inside of your head, and crush your brain.

I stay up until 4:00.
 
However, as I can't find a ussr by that name now, it causes an error, which makes the exec_drwf73 script fail to execute, making me also stop existing.


I talk about definitions of tangent and cotagent and how if you define one in terms of the other there should be a point of discontiniuty that doesn't exist when defined properly in terms of sine and cosine
 
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