Make someone absorb the non-issue!

[Ivyss]

You get jumpscared by a boss and have a heart attack.

I fish.

 

[Cubic.]

With a truffle worm, Duke Fishron eats you.

I am sad that you don't wanna come attack me.

 

[Ivyss]

You die from a broken heart. (Cows can actually die from it.)

I visit a human house.

 

[Cubic.]

The house owner happens to be a dragon hunter.

I fall asleep.

 

[Ivyss]

While driving.

I exist.

 

[Cubic.]

NOT!

I defeat the Twins.

 

[Animus Viral]

The ruins fall on me.

Evil Pancakes.

 

[Ivyss]

They're so evil they eat you.

I stab someone.

 

[Cubic.]

It happens to be you. (Why do I keep mixing this up with absorb the non-issue?

I wanna be Tracer.

 

[Ivyss]

You get so mad that someone is already Tracer that you have a heart attack.
(You don't appear to be the only one doing it.)
I play Darkest dungeon. (It's a great game.)

 

[Cubic.]

I take you by surprise and summon the Twins on you.

I write, "Goodnight Cyril" in my notebook.

 

[Ivyss]

Turns out it's a death note, you die from sadness.

I do a fancy knife trick.

 

[Cubic.]

I imagine the most epic troll, go smack the knife, and fail. You have died.

I do a thumbs up, saying "Good job. You died!"

 

[Ivyss]

If I die, you're coming with me, I stab you fatally and die.

I put out a fire.

 

[Cubic.]

It happens to be binded to my your soul.

NERF BASTION

 

[Malfestio]

After getting killed by Bastion.

I flip a coin

 

[Ivyss]

It ends up in your mouth and you choke on it.

I run out of ideas .

 

[Yello_X]

You run out of ideas for surviving
I bake a pizza

 

[Ivyss]

You accidentally put yourself in the oven instead.

I give up.

 

[Yello_X]

A sniper headshots you and gets the Chicken Dinner
I build a snowman