Greenie
Retinazer
Welcome to the adventures of One Life Man, the worst super hero to ever exist!
As the title says, this is a hardcore playthrough, done in the screenshot let's play style that seems to be popular on these forums. Of course, being hardcore, this playthrough could end at basically any point. I might make it all the way to the Moon Lord, or just get killed in the least climactic way possible and get blown up by a TNT trap or squished by a boulder. Only time will tell!
My character, being a hardcore character, is named One Life Man.
The inspiration for his name is obviously One-Punch Man, but they really couldn't be more different. While One-Punch Man is one of the most overpowered characters to ever exist, One Life Man has the special ability of only living once. I guess you could call that a special ability. So ignore his resemblance to Vegeta, he's actually really weak.
But enough talk. Have at you!
Chapter 1: Very Humble Beginnings!
Not a bad spawn, really. Has nice flat land for building. Not the most interesting area but could be worse. I can see some copper in the ground, so I'm probably going to want that for armor. In the meantime, it's tree cutting time!
After a while of cutting trees, I got rid of that copper shortsword and got a wood sword instead. The copper shortsword is literally so bad that a sword made of wood is better. I also got some wood armor because, you know, hardcore mode. With new equipment in hand, I'm off to do a bit of exploration and see if I can find any above ground treasures!
So long story short, there is literally nothing nearby besides a few pots, which have long since been broken. So instead I gave up and came back here and made a small house, just in time for night to come.
"Um, Guide, why do you keep opening the door when YOU KNOW IT'S NIGHT AND THERE ARE ZOMBIES OUT THERE!?"
"It's really fun, trust me! The risk of letting a zombie in just makes it more of a rush! You know, like a roller coaster ride or something!" Try it!"
"YOU FOOL YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
Leaving the Guide to die at the hands of zombies, I decided that I'm not really doing anything else and should take this time to dig a mine. Too bad I don't have any rope. That purple glow looks suspicious, so I'm investigating that first.
And like I thought, it's a demon altar. Good to have one near base, makes crafting boss summons a lot easier. And the Night's Edge too, I guess, but that I only have to make once.
The crap is this bunny doing all the way down here?
Well there's another demon altar over here but more importantly HEART CRYSTAL #1! THANK YOU FOR BEING KIND ON ME, WORLD GENERATOR!
Well, I for one, feel a bit safer having a bit more health to work with here. Although I still haven't caught up with the Guide's health by having 200 Hp.
"Yeah, you wish you had this much health! Makes the zombies up here WAAAAAAY easier to deal with!"
My only hope right now is that I will get far enough to get a voodoo doll and kill the Guide.
That other direction just leads to the ice caves, and I don't think I should be trying my luck with ice spike slimes and ice bats right now, so I'm digging in the other direction instead.
OOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD THANK YOU RNJESUS! HEART CRYSTAL #2 ALREADY!
Even with 140 health, I probably shouldn't be going any deeper with wood armor. This stuff only provides, like, 2 defense, and I'm pretty sure that's not going to count for anything against a mother slime. It's probably about time for me to head back up.
Well, only had enough copper for a copper chestplate, but that's still better than wood. Didn't really have enough lead or anything to make a better sword either, so looks like I'm going to be living with this wood sword for a little longer. On that note though, I'm going to close this chapter here. Next time: CAVE EXPLORATION!
Chapter 2: Into the Caves of Highly Probably Doom!
Well, didn't accomplish much yesterday, but today I'm going down underground! Hopefully I can find enough copper for a full suit of armor, maybe enough of some other metal to make a good sword, and hopefully find a magic mirror. I'm really going to need one of those for hardcore mode so I can bail out if I have to. Until then, I'm going to avoid marble biomes as much as possible. Friggin medusas...
Heart crystal #3! I'm actually getting surprisingly lucky with these. At this rate, I might get up to max health pretty quickly. I can also see a good bit of copper around here, so I might be able to go back up and make a complete set of copper armor.
Well, I did find enough copper around there to make a complete set of copper armor, but I also found a surprising amount of amethyst around there. Of course, I used all of it to make a grappling hook. Now falling to my death is 50% less of a concern than it was before! Oh yeah, and I also made a wood bow, in case I find anything down there that I really don't want touching me.
WELL GOOD THING I HAVE A RANGED WEAPON BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT'S REALLY GOING TO HELP ME HERE. GOD HELP ME.
"GOD CAN'T HELP YOU NOW!"
"SHUT UP GUIDE!"
Well, here goes nothing.
Ok, just a mother slime, I can handle that. As long as there aren't any medusas or hoplites, I'm good.
Still not taking any chances though, so I'm not going down there until that thing is dead. Or at least split into baby slimes. Odd that none of the marble biome enemies are here though.
NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPNOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE
Went off in the other direction since I would prefer to live. Good thing too, since I just found this chest here. Hopefully it has an ice mirror?
Ice boomerang, some arrows, and a couple potions. The ice boomerang is a good weapon I guess, but I would prefer a mirror. Guess I have a recall potion now though.
Aaaand another marble biome. I got lucky with the last one, but I don't feel like taking my chances. I guess I'll head back up in another direction.
GAME PLS Y U DO DIS!?
"OOOOOOOOH PREPARE TO GET SPOOKED BY OUR SKELETON SPEARS HUMAN!"
Wait, "our"?
OH GREAT AND NOW THERE ARE MORE OF THEM.
You know what, screw this I'm just building a wall and climbing my way back up.
Ok so I'm back at the surface and away from all the underground doom and destruction. Found out I got enough tungsten to make a sword, which thankfully is legendary. I have already been shown that if I'm going to survive down there, I'm going to need something better than a wood sword.
"Skeletons and slimes too much for you, huh?"
"Oh, shut up, it's not like you're the one down there getting speared by skeletons."
Anyways, back down into the caves.
"Back for more human? We shall SPOOK you for your overconfidence!"
You know what, even though I'm more prepared for this than last time, I think the best option would still be to run away.
Now that I'm out of the range of that marble biome, things are going more smoothly already. Already found a chest and a star statue. With any luck, this has a magic mirror or a cloud in a bottle.
A flare gun. A useless flare gun.
And another golden chest! Hopefully this has something better?
Shoe spikes! Maybe not the most useful thing to have since I have a grappling hook already, but it's not the worst thing to have either. At least it's not another flare gun. There's also some free tungsten here too, so that can go towards making a full set of tungsten armor later.
And then there's this. I'll have to remember this for later, I would prefer not to take on a spider den until I have a better ranged weapon than just a wood bow. You know what though? I think I've done enough mining for today, so I'm heading back to the surface.
Quickly built a second floor for this house which should attract a merchant. With enough luck, that will happen soon. Next time: MAYBE FINDING A MAGIC MIRROR?
Chapter 3: Taking a Look Above Ground!
I've been doing a lot of underground exploration recently, so you know what, I think I should take a look above ground. So far I've only really taken a look in the area near spawn. But first, turns out I have just enough lead to make a bit of lead armor! First thing I should probably go look at is the snow biome off to the left of my base.
Oh, hey the Merchant's here.
"HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BIG EYE!? IT'S EEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIILLLLLLL!"
So I guess this means I have a crazy old man living in my house now. Hey is that purple ice over there?
Yeeeeep that was purple ice. Not sure how much I really like having corruption this close to my base. That's going to make things complicated if I get into hardmode...
Odd that no corruption enemies have shown up yet...
Oh wait that's what I said yesterday with the marble biomes.
REMIND ME TO NEVER SAY "OH HEY LOOKS LIKE NOTHING'S SHOWING UP HERE" EVER AGAIN!
"NYEGHEGHEG YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE HERE ALIVE HUMAN! THE DARKNESS SHALL CONSUME YOU, THE DARKNESS CONSUMES ALL!"
OK YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS WHAT I BROUGHT THIS SWORD FOR.
Made my way through THAT place alive, even though there's still that one guy down there trying to trail me.
"DARKNESS! DESPAIR!"
Glad to be leaving this crazy place.
Moving past the corruption, I found this hill here with a chest in it. Anything useful? Like an aglet maybe?
Climbing claws! Just like the shoe spikes I got yesterday, not really the worst thing, but not really the best. Might as well take them and get the best climbing abilities possible.
Oh and another chest down here? Too bad all it has is a wooden boomerang.
Chest number 3, still no aglet, but these climbing claws I found are better than the ones I have here, so I'm taking these ones instead. Maybe I should check around for more chests?
Hey, there's a minecart track down here! I really wish I could ride this, but in hardcore mode that's a bit too much of a risk. Maybe later I can show why I'm paranoid about these things.
Wow, heart crystal #4 already? Good thing I came down here or I would have missed this.
Another heart crystal!? I can see another one underwater there, near the jellyfish! Guess that would be #5, so now I'm caught up with the Guide and the Merchant in HP.
Turns out that heart crystal was in a granite biome. First one I think I've seen in this worl-"Hey! One Life Man! Wasn't this chapter supposed to be about ABOVE GROUND exploration?"
"Guide!? How are you even talking with me right now, you're miles away, and above ground!"
"Simple. Telepathy."
"Well...um...screw you and your telepathy Guide, I'M DOING WHATEVER THE CRAP I WANT TO DO!"
With my ability to ignore the Guide, I've continued my exploration of this cave and found a golden chest.
WHICH ALSO HAPPEN TO HAVE MENACING HERMES BOOTS! PRAISE BE TO RNJESUS! Wait are those gravity potions? That gives me a great idea...
Really quickly though, just had to check down here. Didn't find much of value, just a second set of Hermes boots. That eye there looks kind of suspicious though...
"SUSPICIOUSLY EEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!"
Um... that wasn't telepathy, I think the Merchant is just yelling that loudly.
Back at base, and I made the last piece of lead armor I needed. Now it's time to show what my idea with those gravity potions was.
COME FLYYYY WITH ME LET'S FLYYYY LET'S FLY AWAYYYYY!
And THAT is how I'm going to be finding floating islands here, just like how I found this one. Now, let's see what's in here.
PRAISE BE TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR RNJESUS! MAY HE GUIDE US THROUGH WISDOM AND RANDOM GENERATION!
Found another island off to the left here. I doubt it could have anything as good as this Starfury here, but with any luck it'll have a lucky horseshoe.
It's a lucky something I guess. At least I can jump higher now?
Wait a second... I'm out of gravity potions and I didn't find a lucky horseshoe, but I'm still up here.
How am I going to get back down to the ground?
Crap...
Next time: AM I STRANDED UP HERE OR WHAT?
Chapter 4: "Advanced" Weaponry!
I'm back! You wouldn't BELIEVE the adventure I had to get back down here from that floating island. You see I had to tame several harpies...
"Basically, he didn't do anything special and just wandered around the island for a while until he remembered he had recall potions on him. Then he teleported home."
"Come ON Guide, I'm trying to put on a good show for the audience!"
"Yeah but the audience isn't stupid either."
"But..."
"Seriously, someone even pointed out the recall potions in the comments."
"At least I got enough platinum up there to make this bow. Screw you, Guide, I'm going back underground."
Back underground in search of treasure. I figure I'm well armed enough now to take whatever these marble biomes have to throw at me, so I'm exploring that one marble biome I ran away from the first time I was down here. And it was worth it too, because I just found heart crystal #5!
Might as well take a bit of time to explain a technique I'm using while exploring caves. Some of you may have noticed that I'm keeping a dart trap in my inventory at all times. I've got one there because as long as you're holding some kind of wire related object, you can see other wire in the area. Essentially, as long as I hold up this dart trap, all traps in the area will be visible. Something especially important when traps like boulders and TNT are instant-kill.
"HUMAN! BACK FOR MORE, ARE YOU? TIME TO GET SPOOAAAARGH!"
AT LONG LAST, VENGANCE IS MINE!
"OOOOOOH WE ARE HERE TO PROVIDE SPOOKY REINFORCEMENTS!"
VEEEEEEEEEEENGAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!
Oh, hey, looks like this was down here the whole time. Ice mirror maybe?
Or a completely useless snowball cannon. Fine, I'm used to not being able to find a mirror at this point.
Looks like this is where the ice ends. That means soon I'm going to start seeing...
Lava. Here's the lava layer. Also means this is the point at which I'm going to have to stop, since I would prefer to be able to teleport out of lava should I need to.
Looks like I have enough tungsten to make a full set of armor. I'm probably going to want that. My house is actually a bit small right now though. Maybe it's about time I start working on a real house.
Got a basic outline of the first floor now. And some goggles. Not sure if I have enough boreal wood on me to finish this floor, so I might have to take some of this old wall and use it to temporarily have a wall up here.
OH AND ON THE SAME NIGHT I'M TRYING TO BUILD A HOUSE THIS HAPPENS.
"You know, you probably don't have to worry too much about blocking up the doors as long as you keep killing the zombies."
"Those doors aren't for zombies, Guide. They're for someone else."
"Wait who are you...?"
"You really know how to hold a grudge, don't you?"
"You'll really see how long I can hold a grudge in time."
Good thing I have this Starfury. I don't even need to go outside to kill things out there.
"Are you sure this house is safe from EEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLLLL?"
Is that really all the Merchant thinks about?
Come on, all I want to do is kill that zombie and get his top hat. I'm probably not even going to wear it, I just NEED TO HAVE IT.
The Blood Moon has passed, and I was able to get that top hat! I also found enough stars to make mana crystal #1. That's good too, I guess.
Think I'm going to need more stone. I have plans for that area where my old shack was built. BACK INTO THE CAVES!
AT LONG LAST, A USEFUL ACCESSORY! AND IT'S GOT ONE OF THE BEST REFORGES POSSIBLE!
Along with heart crystal #6!
Kind of have a second floor now. Looks better than before at least, and has more storage space. I COULD finish this now, but I have...other plans.
OOOOOOOH WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY BE BUILDING HERE? AND WHY WOULD I HAVE A SUSPICIOUS LOOKING EYE IN MY INVENTORY? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!
Chapter 5: I Summon Thee!
ALRIGHT, I'M READY FOR THIS THING! LET'S GO EYE, YOU AND ME!
"EVIL!"
.....
THERE HE IS!
Ok, general strategy:
Being the first boss, the Eye of Cthulhu isn't too difficult, but I won't get anywhere if I'm not cautious. That's why I have ironskin and regeneration potions up, combined with some soup to get the "well fed" buff. I also have some campfires down for extra health regen.
Otherwise, I'm mostly just wanting to keep firing at him with arrows and keep too may of his servants from spawning at once. Too many of those could end my run sooner than I would like, even with my equipment.
"You know, I AM kind of surprised you haven't died yet."
"There's a reason for that Guide. If I die, I don't come back like you."
"Wait, you what?"
.....
FORM 2!
"AAAAAAAARGH NOW YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME MAD!"
"Wait, this thing can TALK!?"
"YOU ARE CONTENDING WITH POWERS FAR ABOVE YOUR OWN, HUMAN! NOW YOU WILL BE CRUSHED FOR YOUR ARROGANCE!"
"Hate to break it to you, but look which one of us is closer to being dead."
Anyways, my strategy for form 2 is basically just to avoid this thing as much as possible. That's why I built this two level platform here.
Aside from that, MORE ARROWS! MORE STARFURY! SMITE! SMITE!
AND THE EYE GOES DOWN!
"BLARGLF!"
Time to see what I can make with this demonite ore.
Although I really like the War Axe of the Night, my Starfury here does better damage than that and the Light's Bane, so I'm just going to make the Light's Bane for...later use. There is something else I can make though...
The MALAI-oh.
HEY EYE, CARE FOR ANOTHER FIGHT?
The MALAISE! This thing should make a good semi-ranged weapon! Probably going to replace my Ice Boomerang with this.
"I feel as though a TERRIBLE EVIL has passed...oy, you, got anything on you that I could sell-I mean buy for some good money?"
Looks like the Merchant's normal, at long last.
Found out through some inventory sorting that I have enough stars for another Mana Crystal #3. Hooray for former inattentiveness!
Anyways, if i was able to beat the Eye, then I've got an idea about what I'm doing next. HOW I do it depends on what NPCs show up in the near future. Better get started on some additional houses for them.
"I'M HERE! I'm here. One Life Man, right? I'm here to provide medical care for you. Am I late? I'm late aren't I?"
"I just defeated the Eye of Cthulhu last night."
"Yeah, I'm late."
And it would appear I'm going to do that thing I mentioned the "purify and mine" route and not the "explode and destroy" route.
"You, over there! The one clothed in the metals of the earth! I have heard there is a very powerful warrior here who was able to slay the forgotten monster, the Eye of Cthulhu. Can you show me where this warrior is?"
"Actually, that's me. At least I'm pretty sure I'm the one you're talking about."
"Oh... perhaps I have underestimated you. Your appearance led me to believe you were simply a wanderer passing through this village. You must be immensely more powerful than you let on!"
"Thanks I guess?"
Well, time to buy some powder and do some purifying in the corruption.
Alright, seems to be a good number of shadow orbs in this area...
Guess I'll start smashing here.
Got a musket from that first shadow orb. Don't think that's going to do me as much good as my bow or my Starfury in what's about to happen. But...I think that will have to wait until later.
Chapter 6: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Alright, time for the giant worm. Not nearly as concerned about this guy as I was about the eye since each segment of the Eater of Worlds drops a heart. Good thing too, since I can't seem to find a spot to put a campfire here.
"DARKNESS!"
It would also appear this giant shadow worm can talk as well.
Not much strategy needed here, I think. Even though the Eye is supposed to be the first boss, I actually find this guy easier. To be safe though, I still have my standard ironskin, regeneration, and well fed buffs up.
"SHADOWS!"
Unlike the last battle, seems like my Starfury will be the most helpful here. Probably will also get some pretty good use out of my new Malaise.
"VOID!"
Got a pretty good number of segments down, just but now there are two of them. Still not much to worry about though.
"THE COLOR BLACK!"
"DARK ROOMS!"
Took care of the second worm, now I just have one to deal with.
"BLACK COFFEE!"
And now the Eater of Worlds is down!
"IN THE BASEment....."
Looks like I got a trophy too. Anyways, back to base!
First things first I need a better pickaxe. I could go for better armor first, but I would really like something that digs faster than this lead pickaxe.
"Oy, what's that? Something just landed over there!"
"Must be a meteorite. Hey One Life Man, go see if you can mine that."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe this is just me, but I think it would probably burn to carry around meteorite chunks with me."
"Trust me. It's a good idea."
"Fine."
Um...I kind of forgot to ask what direction that meteor landed in. But hey, even if I'm wandering around aimlessly out here, I did find the jungle!...It is probably a terrible idea to be here right now. MOVING ON! QUICKLY!
Found a desert just past the jungle, and right in the middle of it there's this huge pit.
"That's probably an antlion nest."
"Oh there are antlions down here?"
"That and probably a bunch of other things."
"DOES THAT INCLUDE TREASURE?"
"Maybe."
SWIGGITY SWOOT, I'M COMING FOR THE LOOT!
Oooooh crap.
OOOOOOOOOOOH CRAP WHY I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS I NEEDED BETTER ARMOR FIRST!
"HUMANS, THIS IS WHAT DEATH LOOKS LIKE UP CLOSE!"
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!
"Or is coming back for a second try."
"SHUT UP GUIDE!"
"YEAH YOU DON'T LIKE BULLETS, DO YA?"
"He's going to die out there, isn't he?"
"Probably."
"NURSE HELP I AM IN NEED OF MEDICAL RESISTANCE-I MEAN TREATMENT!"
"Is your head ok?"
"IM NOT SURE..."
"Hm. Not much I can do as long as you're still fighting out there. Maybe I can try first aid? No that won't really do much if you have a head injury..."
"WHY CAN'T I FEEL MY EVERYTHING?"
"Maybe it has something to do with all those arrows in you."
"HOLD THE LINE! HOLD THE LIIIIIIINNNNEEEEE!"
"It's ok guys, I can handle myself in combat."
"Good. I'll get him inside."
"Anything out there worth some money?"
Chapter 7: Miscellaneous Stuff!
Blegh... what even just happened.
WAIT WHAT DID ACTUALLY DID JUST HAPPEN!? WHY AM I EVEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD? WHY IS THERE A GOBLIN HERE? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARMY OF GOBLINS BACK AT MY BASE?
"The Nurse saved you at the last minute. You actually were able to take care of the majority of the goblins before blacking out completely. I just took care of the rest and had the Dryad send you back out here with her nature powers or something."
"This is totally NOT just something I made up because I forgot to take enough screenshots of the goblin fight!"
"Wait, who was that?"
"Who was what?"
I'll just try to forget all this ever happened and keep exploring this side of the world.
I found you, faker! Say something, you fake sword!
Oooooooooooh I found a rare thing! Please be something useful and not just a magic carpet or a mask...
How did YOU get here?
"FOOL! THE DARKNESS IS EVERYWHERE!"
THANK YOU! SANDSTORM IN A BOTTLE! With any luck, I might one day make a bundle of balloons with this.
Oh. So this is where that one eater came from.
"I TOLD YOU! THE DARKNESS IS EVERYWHERE AND COVERS EVERYTHING! NYEGHEGHEG!"
Here's the ocean then. Guess the meteor didn't land over here.
"I could have told you that, but I found it funnier to just watch you wander around on the wrong side of the world."
"Well...um...JOKE'S ON YOU 'CAUSE I FOUND A RARE FAKE SWORD OVER HERE!"
"Good for you."
USELESS WEAPON, YEAH!
USELESS WEAPON #2, YEAH!
USEFUL ITEM AND NOW I'M OUT OF AIR G2G.
Found the meteorite on the other side of the world. By the way, coming as a surprise to ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, the Guide is a complete liar. This stuff burns.
Found a way around that though. If I just put down a couple stone blocks to stand on, I can stand close enough to this stuff to mine it without becoming well done.
"You know I forgot to tell you, there's an obsidian skull you can make that prevents getting burned by blocks like this."
"OH I'M SURE YOU FORGOT."
And with that out of the way, I now have a Meteor Hamaxe to replace my old copper axe and my not quite as old lead hammer. Anyways, I think I'm going to go underground again and see if I can find a mirror. I really want to do some deep underground exploration, but I want one of those first in case I fall in lava.
Wait is that...
"Thank you for freeing me, human. I was tied up and left here by the other goblins. You could say that we didn't get along very well."
"The other goblins? You mean the ones that invaded my base earlier and nearly killed me?"
"Possibly the same ones. Their cities are all over the place underground. By the way, seeing how I'm now basically homeless, do you perhaps have a place for me to stay at this base of yours?"
"How can I be sure that I can trust you over the other goblins?"
"I can combine accessories and reforge your tools."
"Well..."
"And make rocket boots."
JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE WOOD FOR A TABLE AND THAT GOBLIN WILL HAVE A HOME HERE.
"BY THE WAY GUIDE HAVE YOU SEEN THESE SPECTRE BOOTS I MADE OUT OF SOME ROCKET BOOTS AND HERMES BOOTS? THEY LET ME FLY AND RUN REALLY FAST!"
"..."
Gold bunny, what?
"DID SOMEONE SAY GOLD?"
Seems the merchant wants one. GET OVER HERE, BUNNY!
OH MY THAT'S A LOT OF GOLD.
"You think that's good, you should see what a solid gold bunny goes for on the secondary market."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Off in the corruption to finish my shadow armor set. Also got this ancient shadow armor helmet. Too bad the last piece I need is the chestplate and not the helmet.
Now I have an arms dealer here! Now I can actually have ammo for my musket.
Now that's done with, and at long last, I have some decently protective armor. There is some more stuff that I could do before I continue on with more interesting things, but I think I'll call it a day. Next time: Miscellaneous stuff, part 2!
Chapter 8: Miscellaneous Stuff II!
Got my full set of shadow armor, found a meteorite, found one edge of the world, got a goblin to move in, and got an arms dealer to move in, but I still need to do more random things before I can make anymore real progress.
"Get comfortable folks, today's gonna be another filler episode."
First things first, I'm paying the Arms Dealer a visit. My platinum bow has been good, but my musket is better and needs ammo.
I want it...
"Hands off anything you're not buying."
I'm coming back for you later...
One of the things I've been needing to get for a long time but haven't found yet is a magic mirror. I really need one of those if I'm going to be doing any real exploration deep underground or in the jungle, and seeing that I'm at the point where I need to go to one of those two places, I'm going to need one now. So, got the only two moonglows I have, a couple blinkroots, and some platinum ore, and made a couple spelunker potions. I'm going down there, and I'm not coming back up until I find a mirror.
Well, I found a night vision helmet. Not at all what I'm looking for, or something that I need for that matter, but maybe I can sell it.
A spooky scary skeleton tried to send shivers down my spine. Instead, I broke his spine and took a gladiator helmet from him.
I can see an ice chest in there, but I do have to wonder why someone built a house on top of fragile ice.
Oh, my mistake. I should be wondering why someone built a house in fragile ice.
"Not sure which I find more confusing, the fact that someone built a house there, or the fact that there's still a house built there."
Well, ignoring the questionable building techniques of some random cave dweller, all that's in here is an ice blade and a gravity potion. The ice blade would have been a good weapon if I had found it earlier, but I do have a use for that gravity potion.
I know this is a bit late but PRAISE BE TO RNJESUS, MAY WE BE GUIDED THROUGH HIS RANDOM NUMBER GENERATION!
Now that I have this I could just leave, but I'm going to take a quick look around. Never know what you'll find.
Just another blizzard in a bottle. Ah well, worth checking out anyways. Wait, is that a heart crystal over there?
Yep, heart crystal number...um...what number was this 7? I'm going with #7. HEART CRYSTAL #7 EVERYBODY!
Looks like a scam artist has arrived in my village. I'm about done here, so might as well go see what he has to offer.
"I've got deals on everything! Need exotic goods from the East? Perhaps looking to improve your weapons stock? Or maybe you would be interested in an Angel Statue?"
"I'll take the compass I guess."
"A good choice! You know, a guy like you might also be interested in a night vision helmet! Could I interest you in-" "Yeah enough of that."
I've got another gravity potion, and I know how I want to use it.
At last, I can continue my search for a lucky horseshoe! Now then, what's in here?
YEAH! TAKE THAT GRAVITY, I FOLLOW MY OWN LAWS OF PHYSICS NOW!
Found another island, and a strange plant on it. So, what's in this chest?
Oh. Just a kind of meh Starfury. On to the next island I guess.
Long story short, didn't find any more islands up there, but down here I found this place. I think this might be the old dungeon the Nurse has mentioned a couple times.
"Hey old man, do you need any help there?"
...
Well no response from him. Guess I'll check the rest of the dungeon for anything valuable.
Nothing up here, so I'll just keep going down.
Down, down, to goblin town. You go my lad! Ho ho, my lad!
...
HA! DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GO DOWN THERE? I MEAN COME ON, EVEN I KNOW THAT'S THE WORST IDEA EVER!
Ooooh man is this finally a real sword? I hope it's the Arkhalis...
Oh... just an Enchanted Sword. Those things are hardly worth anything these days.
OH CRAP THERE ARE SHARKS IN THIS OCEAN?
STAY BACK! BACK I SAID!
YEAH AND STAY GONE!
...
Is it safe to go in there now?
Not much interesting in the ocean, so I came back here. And I made a bed to reset my spawn point finally!
Ah, yes, and I also realized that I could have made a blizzard in a balloon this whole time. Apologies for any screaming at your computer you might have done before now.
And now there's a painter living here. I wonder if he does requests or if he's commissions only? Questions for later. I have something important to do, now that I have a magic mirror.
Going deeper, deeper, and yet deeper...
However, I've been going on for a while now, so I'm calling it for today. Next time: Deep Underground!
Chapter 9: The Core!
At long last, today's the day when I can journey down...
TO THE CORE!
Oh hey a spider. Hey maybe I should take a chapter to talk about spiders and spider dens instead of-
"WILL YOU JUST GET A MOVE ON FOR RED'S SAKE!"
"Alright..."
Alright, I believe this is where I stopped last time because of the lava. And of course, the first thing I run into is a boulder trap, just to remind me how many traps there are waiting to kill me down here.
SWIGGITY SWORD, I'M COMIN' FOR THAT...UM...SWORD!
YEAH!
Is this one an Arkhalis?
Pls.
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA! BURN! I LAUGH AT YOUR PAIN! BUUUUUUUUUUURN!
Ok, fit of vengence fueled rage over. I should probably go see what's in that marble biome.
No marble treasure house. Too bad, I like the way those look. On the other hand, Heart Crystal #8!
Oh and this chest over here? Has a flare gun, the rarest and most useful of tools.
"Oh...um...hi?"
"Good day. Lookin' to do some trading? Yeh've come to the right place."
(THIS IS REALLY WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE.)
Bought some bottles of some mysterious brew he was selling. I don't even know why I would want the stuff, but I was kind of afraid of leaving without buying anything. He might not have taken too kindly to that.
Moving on though, found this second marble biome down here, which actually does have a marble treasure house.
Complete with an Enchanted Boomerang! It may not be too good right now, but I have plans for this.
Oh, and also Heart Crystal #9.
Man, I'm really getting deep down here. I almost never find treasure houses this close together higher up.
ABOUT
FRIGGIN
TIME.
Found a deep underground spider den. Anything worth taking here?
Would appear not. The spiders never have anything cool...
Just past the spider den, however, is Heart Crystal #10.
"WELCOME TO THE UNDERWORLD, HOME OF THE UNDERWORLD, MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"
That's it, I've gone too far.
Went back up to the surface briefly to make an obsidian skull. When I came back down here, I killed a skeleton and he dropped this mining shirt. Then a bat came up from behind him. I killed that too, and it dropped a depth meter.
Ah, perfect. You know how all those chapters ago I said I would show you exactly why I distrust minecart tracks someday? That day is today.
Also, Heart Crystal #11. Pretty soon I'll actually be at max life.
"Or so you think."
"Wait, there's more?"
"You'll see in time. If you get there."
"You know for being a guide, you do a really bad job of ACTUALLY GUIDING ME."
Think I've done a good amount of exploring down here, and it doesn't seem like there's anything else I could really find down here. Time to head back up to the surface and think about where I can go next.
"Hey Guide, maybe you can tell me what I can make with this compass and depth meter here."
"Just a GPS. But you're going to need a pocket watch first. You know, you could also combine the blizzard in a balloon and the horseshoe..."
"I'm saving that blizzard in a balloon in case I get the chance to make a bundle of balloons."
"If you insist. You'll end up combining them eventually though, mark my words."
Alright, so I thought REALLY hard about where I should go next, and I think I have an idea.
SWIGGITY SWOOT, I'M COMIN' FOR THE LOOT!
Next time: The loot!
Chapter 10: The Jungle of Madness!
YEAH COMIN' FOR THAT JUNGLE LOOT!
"By the way, did you change your outfit?"
"Forgot to mention that. Made myself some obsidian pants and an obsidian jacket so I can enter the jungle in style."
Huh. A mushroom biome combined with a granite biome. Not exactly what I expected from my first look into the underground jungle, but whatever, I'm not complaining. Besides, Heart Crystal #12 is right there.
"Hate to break it to you, but that's actually #13."
"WHAT? What happened to #12?"
"You lost count at around #5. I thought you would have noticed by now, but you're just FULL of surprises aren't you?"
"If the opportunity arises, I SHALL TAKE IMMENSE PLEASURE IN KILLING YOU, GUIDE!"
Found a nature's gift pretty quick. Not like I'm likely to ever need one, but it's still surprising I found one so fast.
And even more mushrooms. Guess I haven't found a mushroom biome yet, so it's good I found two of them. So, what's in this chest here?
Meh. A cloud in a bottle is a good thing to have for making a bundle of balloons, but otherwise not too useful anymore. I could equip it to get a triple jump though...
"Um...miss, are you ok?"
(Why is this girl here and where are her clothers?)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
WHAT THE-WHO-WHY-WHAT WAS THAT?
"That was a nymph. They're very rare underground creatures who disguise themselves as lost girls to lure in adventurers like you."
I JUST MADE THESE OBSIDIAN PANTS, I DIDN'T THINK I'D NEED TO WASH THEM THIS SOON!
"Did you get a metal detector from one at least?"
"YEAH I THINK THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
*10 minutes of regaining sanity later*
Alright, what's in this chest then?
Wasn't even worth the trouble. Well, except maybe the gold coins.
Pot pls.
"Sometimes pots open up a portal to some kind of coin dimension. No idea why either. The goblin tried to explain it to me...something about parallel universes and syncing speeds, combined with the placement of the pot relative to a parallel dimension pot...nothing I could really understand."
You didn't think I would miss Heart Crystal #14, did you? This time I'm finally on the right number...
Found another mushroom biome, but more importantly, an Anklet of the Wind. Too bad I can't combine this with an aglet and my spectre boots to get lightning boots.
And here it is...
In the depths of the underground jungle...
I have been waiting for this...
For a very long time...
THE
FINAL
HEART
CRYSTAL!!!
And also another scam artist. I'll ignore him for now.
Good thing I found one of these. Terrible weapon, but it's also a really good tool.
Ok, it's not that good of a tool. I don't need two. Could use that gold coin though.
Found some feral claws down there, just forgot to show those off when I got them. Came back here because I have new things I can make.
Most important is a Blade of Grass, second to that is the ivy whip. This Blade of Grass could be better though.
"HEY GOBLIN!"
Oh. The scam artist left. I'm sure nothing of value was lost.
"He spent all day trying to sell the Dryad an angel statue."
FINALLY a good reforge.
"Try to make your next weapon more carefully. Took me an exceptionally long time to fix up this one."
"Sorry, still getting over finding a nymph."
Time to retire my Starfury, after all this time. It's been a good sword, this one is just a lot better.
And with that, I'm stopping for today. I could go back to the jungle next time, but more importantly, I think it's about time for me to finish this house.
Next time: My Completed House!
Chapter 11: House Construction Interrupted
Well, finishing this will probably take a while. Guess I should get to it.
Wait, what?
"Dryad, you know things about nature, what's going on?"
"Azerath metryon zynthos..."
"Guess I'm not getting any answers from you."
FRIGGIN SLIMES! LEAVE!
Agh...are these things ever going to go away?
Oh...
"FOOL! You think you can beat the KING OF ALL SLIMES?"
"How is this slime blob talking too?"
"What? No, I'm not just a slime blob, I'm a slime person. See the ninja guy here?"
"Are you really just that fat then?"
"OF COURSE NOT, YOU WEAKLING! To get this powerful I fused with 200 OTHER SLIMES, which means I AM NOW THE STRONGEST SLIME IN THE WORLD!"
"Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak slimes stronger."
"WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT!"
Well, this is what I got this Blade of Grass for. GET BACK HERE!
"YOU WISH YOU COULD JUMP AS WELL AS THE KING OF ALL SLIMES, DON'T YOU?"
Well, guess I can talk about strategy...
Oh wait I really don't need any for this guy, I just need to keep swinging my sword. I guess for anyone fighting this guy earlier in the game, use a ranged weapon and have a cloud in a bottle for mobility? Really, King Slime is the weakest boss of them all.
"IT'S NOT OVER TIL IT'S OVER, BUDDY!"
"BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT I CAN TELEPORT, WERE YOU?"
"Where are you teleporting to?"
"RIGHT ON TOP OF Y-oh."
"Maybe you should learn to jump faster."
There we go. Too bad I'm not going to use anything he dropped, except maybe someday the solidifier. Wait did he leave behind two crowns when he died? I only saw one...
Probably best not to think about it.
Yep, nothing special here. Would have liked to get a ninja shirt. Ok, back to building.
Great. Another salesman.
"Good day! Good day! Care to see what exotic goods I have brought from-" "Yeah whatever. I'll take some of those rune walls and that DPS meter."
"Excellent choices sir! I also have some high quality dirt blocks from overseas, if you're interested."
"Get out."
"Hey Guide, what can I make with this stuff?"
"With this junk? Probably some Goblin Tech."
"How did this get the name Goblin Tech?"
"It looks like something a goblin would have thrown together."
"NOT ALL GOBLINS, MIND YOU!"
Took many hours, BUT HERE IT IS!
Not much in the way of decoration, but it'll do.
"Also one side of the roof is shorter than the other."
"I'll fix that later. For now, I've spent too long building and not enough time looting. I'm going back to the jungle."
Oh, hey. A heart crystal. Not like I really need these now, unless I want to make heart lamps. Not keeping track of how many of these I've found anymore though, seeing how they're no longer necessary.
About time a Demolitionist showed up. The dynamite he sells was going to be my backup plan for getting to the shadow orbs in the corruption in case a Dryad didn't show up.
Wait a second, I nearly missed this beehive. I'm...going to remember this for later. Came here for exploration, and I'm going to finish doing that before I move on.
And another one. Once again, moving on, I came here for exploration.
Well, my musket had a good run, but now there's this. I only have to wonder what a shotgun is doing inside a tree.
I just killed a giant salamander. He dropped this yo-yo. I can't even begin to guess why.
One less damage than my Malaise too. Doesn't look like I'll be keeping this yo-yo. Enough about that, what's in this treasure house with the fancy mahogany piano?
Another useless set of hermes boots. No gold even. I expected a lot more from a cave dweller who managed to get a piano as fancy as this one.
Following a rail downwards, found the lava layer of the underground jungle, and some shoe spikes. Not like I need these either.
WOAH, LAVA TREE, HELLO! GUIDE WHAT ARE THESE TREES MADE OF?
"They should just be made of normal wood, I guess this tree just doesn't want to burn. Of course, just in this one trip to the jungle you've found a shotgun inside a tree and a salamander that was holding a yo-yo, so reality has basically been out the window and into the trash."
"Even if lava trees are normal for this place, I don't feel like going down in there to find out what treasure is in here."
Found a third beehive. I think the world is trying to tell me something.
Oh, sure, now that I have a magic mirror I start finding more of them.
Found a second boomstick too. Not like I really need one.
I GET IT WORLD, I NEED TO DO THAT THING WITH THE BEEHIVES. I'LL GET TO IT SOON.
You know, I would be a lot happier with finding this anklet of the wind if I had an aglet to combine this and the spectre boots with. Taking it anyways so I'll at least have 2/3 parts for lightning boots. Maybe I should start exploring closer to the surface so in case there are any chests up there with an aglet.
On the way back up, found even more shoe spikes. Really wish I could find an extractionator or something, that's one of the few underground treasures I haven't found yet.
Up near the surface now, but no aglet so far. Just a guide to plant fiber cordage. Probably a better guide than my ACTUAL Guide.
"You couldn't do without me and you know it."
"Yeah I'm pretty sure I could do without you."
And a second one. Look, it's a good thing to have, but it's not THAT good.
Do I really look like I need more climbing claws?
Now that's just insulting.
Ok, made a Thorn Chakram, which was the last thing I wanted to gather materials from the jungle for. I also have these suspicious looking eyes, so I have an idea of what I want to do with all these new weapons.
TIME FOR A TRUE DISPLAY OF MY NEW POWER!
"OH GREAT, YOU AGAIN."
As you can see, the Eye of Cthulhu is hardly a problem anymore.
"STOP IT!"
I think that only took me like...two minutes.
ROUND TWO!
"WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?"
Defeated three eyes in one night, made a bit of money, and now I'm going to end this chapter. Next time, well...I think I've already been shown what I should do next.
(Posts continue on page 3)
As the title says, this is a hardcore playthrough, done in the screenshot let's play style that seems to be popular on these forums. Of course, being hardcore, this playthrough could end at basically any point. I might make it all the way to the Moon Lord, or just get killed in the least climactic way possible and get blown up by a TNT trap or squished by a boulder. Only time will tell!
My character, being a hardcore character, is named One Life Man.
The inspiration for his name is obviously One-Punch Man, but they really couldn't be more different. While One-Punch Man is one of the most overpowered characters to ever exist, One Life Man has the special ability of only living once. I guess you could call that a special ability. So ignore his resemblance to Vegeta, he's actually really weak.
But enough talk. Have at you!
Chapter 1: Very Humble Beginnings!
"Um, Guide, why do you keep opening the door when YOU KNOW IT'S NIGHT AND THERE ARE ZOMBIES OUT THERE!?"
"It's really fun, trust me! The risk of letting a zombie in just makes it more of a rush! You know, like a roller coaster ride or something!" Try it!"
"YOU FOOL YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
And like I thought, it's a demon altar. Good to have one near base, makes crafting boss summons a lot easier. And the Night's Edge too, I guess, but that I only have to make once.
"Yeah, you wish you had this much health! Makes the zombies up here WAAAAAAY easier to deal with!"
My only hope right now is that I will get far enough to get a voodoo doll and kill the Guide.
Heart crystal #3! I'm actually getting surprisingly lucky with these. At this rate, I might get up to max health pretty quickly. I can also see a good bit of copper around here, so I might be able to go back up and make a complete set of copper armor.
"GOD CAN'T HELP YOU NOW!"
"SHUT UP GUIDE!"
Well, here goes nothing.
Went off in the other direction since I would prefer to live. Good thing too, since I just found this chest here. Hopefully it has an ice mirror?
GAME PLS Y U DO DIS!?
"OOOOOOOOH PREPARE TO GET SPOOKED BY OUR SKELETON SPEARS HUMAN!"
Wait, "our"?
OH GREAT AND NOW THERE ARE MORE OF THEM.
"Skeletons and slimes too much for you, huh?"
"Oh, shut up, it's not like you're the one down there getting speared by skeletons."
Anyways, back down into the caves.
"Back for more human? We shall SPOOK you for your overconfidence!"
You know what, even though I'm more prepared for this than last time, I think the best option would still be to run away.
Oh, hey the Merchant's here.
"HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BIG EYE!? IT'S EEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIILLLLLLL!"
So I guess this means I have a crazy old man living in my house now. Hey is that purple ice over there?
Odd that no corruption enemies have shown up yet...
Oh wait that's what I said yesterday with the marble biomes.
"NYEGHEGHEG YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE HERE ALIVE HUMAN! THE DARKNESS SHALL CONSUME YOU, THE DARKNESS CONSUMES ALL!"
OK YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS WHAT I BROUGHT THIS SWORD FOR.
"DARKNESS! DESPAIR!"
Glad to be leaving this crazy place.
"Guide!? How are you even talking with me right now, you're miles away, and above ground!"
"Simple. Telepathy."
"Well...um...screw you and your telepathy Guide, I'M DOING WHATEVER THE CRAP I WANT TO DO!"
"SUSPICIOUSLY EEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!"
Um... that wasn't telepathy, I think the Merchant is just yelling that loudly.
Found another island off to the left here. I doubt it could have anything as good as this Starfury here, but with any luck it'll have a lucky horseshoe.
Wait a second... I'm out of gravity potions and I didn't find a lucky horseshoe, but I'm still up here.
How am I going to get back down to the ground?
Crap...
Next time: AM I STRANDED UP HERE OR WHAT?
I'm back! You wouldn't BELIEVE the adventure I had to get back down here from that floating island. You see I had to tame several harpies...
"Basically, he didn't do anything special and just wandered around the island for a while until he remembered he had recall potions on him. Then he teleported home."
"Come ON Guide, I'm trying to put on a good show for the audience!"
"Yeah but the audience isn't stupid either."
"But..."
"Seriously, someone even pointed out the recall potions in the comments."
"At least I got enough platinum up there to make this bow. Screw you, Guide, I'm going back underground."
Might as well take a bit of time to explain a technique I'm using while exploring caves. Some of you may have noticed that I'm keeping a dart trap in my inventory at all times. I've got one there because as long as you're holding some kind of wire related object, you can see other wire in the area. Essentially, as long as I hold up this dart trap, all traps in the area will be visible. Something especially important when traps like boulders and TNT are instant-kill.
AT LONG LAST, VENGANCE IS MINE!
VEEEEEEEEEEENGAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!
Looks like this is where the ice ends. That means soon I'm going to start seeing...
Lava. Here's the lava layer. Also means this is the point at which I'm going to have to stop, since I would prefer to be able to teleport out of lava should I need to.
Looks like I have enough tungsten to make a full set of armor. I'm probably going to want that. My house is actually a bit small right now though. Maybe it's about time I start working on a real house.
Got a basic outline of the first floor now. And some goggles. Not sure if I have enough boreal wood on me to finish this floor, so I might have to take some of this old wall and use it to temporarily have a wall up here.
OH AND ON THE SAME NIGHT I'M TRYING TO BUILD A HOUSE THIS HAPPENS.
"You know, you probably don't have to worry too much about blocking up the doors as long as you keep killing the zombies."
"Those doors aren't for zombies, Guide. They're for someone else."
"Wait who are you...?"
"You really know how to hold a grudge, don't you?"
"You'll really see how long I can hold a grudge in time."
Good thing I have this Starfury. I don't even need to go outside to kill things out there.
"Are you sure this house is safe from EEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLLLL?"
Is that really all the Merchant thinks about?
Eye of Cthulhu, I summon thee!
ALRIGHT, I'M READY FOR THIS THING! LET'S GO EYE, YOU AND ME!
"EVIL!"
.....
THERE HE IS!
Ok, general strategy:
Being the first boss, the Eye of Cthulhu isn't too difficult, but I won't get anywhere if I'm not cautious. That's why I have ironskin and regeneration potions up, combined with some soup to get the "well fed" buff. I also have some campfires down for extra health regen.
Otherwise, I'm mostly just wanting to keep firing at him with arrows and keep too may of his servants from spawning at once. Too many of those could end my run sooner than I would like, even with my equipment.
"You know, I AM kind of surprised you haven't died yet."
"There's a reason for that Guide. If I die, I don't come back like you."
"Wait, you what?"
.....
FORM 2!
"AAAAAAAARGH NOW YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME MAD!"
"Wait, this thing can TALK!?"
"YOU ARE CONTENDING WITH POWERS FAR ABOVE YOUR OWN, HUMAN! NOW YOU WILL BE CRUSHED FOR YOUR ARROGANCE!"
"Hate to break it to you, but look which one of us is closer to being dead."
Anyways, my strategy for form 2 is basically just to avoid this thing as much as possible. That's why I built this two level platform here.
Aside from that, MORE ARROWS! MORE STARFURY! SMITE! SMITE!
AND THE EYE GOES DOWN!
"BLARGLF!"
Time to see what I can make with this demonite ore.
HEY EYE, CARE FOR ANOTHER FIGHT?
"I feel as though a TERRIBLE EVIL has passed...oy, you, got anything on you that I could sell-I mean buy for some good money?"
Looks like the Merchant's normal, at long last.
Found out through some inventory sorting that I have enough stars for another Mana Crystal #3. Hooray for former inattentiveness!
Anyways, if i was able to beat the Eye, then I've got an idea about what I'm doing next. HOW I do it depends on what NPCs show up in the near future. Better get started on some additional houses for them.
"I'M HERE! I'm here. One Life Man, right? I'm here to provide medical care for you. Am I late? I'm late aren't I?"
"I just defeated the Eye of Cthulhu last night."
"Yeah, I'm late."
"You, over there! The one clothed in the metals of the earth! I have heard there is a very powerful warrior here who was able to slay the forgotten monster, the Eye of Cthulhu. Can you show me where this warrior is?"
"Actually, that's me. At least I'm pretty sure I'm the one you're talking about."
"Oh... perhaps I have underestimated you. Your appearance led me to believe you were simply a wanderer passing through this village. You must be immensely more powerful than you let on!"
"Thanks I guess?"
Well, time to buy some powder and do some purifying in the corruption.
Guess I'll start smashing here.
Got a musket from that first shadow orb. Don't think that's going to do me as much good as my bow or my Starfury in what's about to happen. But...I think that will have to wait until later.
"A horrible chill goes down your spine..."
"Screams echo around you..."
"Eater of Worlds has awoken!"
"Screams echo around you..."
"Eater of Worlds has awoken!"
Alright, time for the giant worm. Not nearly as concerned about this guy as I was about the eye since each segment of the Eater of Worlds drops a heart. Good thing too, since I can't seem to find a spot to put a campfire here.
"DARKNESS!"
It would also appear this giant shadow worm can talk as well.
Not much strategy needed here, I think. Even though the Eye is supposed to be the first boss, I actually find this guy easier. To be safe though, I still have my standard ironskin, regeneration, and well fed buffs up.
"SHADOWS!"
"VOID!"
Got a pretty good number of segments down, just but now there are two of them. Still not much to worry about though.
"THE COLOR BLACK!"
"DARK ROOMS!"
"BLACK COFFEE!"
And now the Eater of Worlds is down!
"IN THE BASEment....."
Looks like I got a trophy too. Anyways, back to base!
"Oy, what's that? Something just landed over there!"
"Must be a meteorite. Hey One Life Man, go see if you can mine that."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe this is just me, but I think it would probably burn to carry around meteorite chunks with me."
"Trust me. It's a good idea."
"Fine."
Um...I kind of forgot to ask what direction that meteor landed in. But hey, even if I'm wandering around aimlessly out here, I did find the jungle!...It is probably a terrible idea to be here right now. MOVING ON! QUICKLY!
Found a desert just past the jungle, and right in the middle of it there's this huge pit.
"That's probably an antlion nest."
"Oh there are antlions down here?"
"That and probably a bunch of other things."
"DOES THAT INCLUDE TREASURE?"
"Maybe."
SWIGGITY SWOOT, I'M COMING FOR THE LOOT!
"HUMANS, THIS IS WHAT DEATH LOOKS LIKE UP CLOSE!"
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!
"Or is coming back for a second try."
"SHUT UP GUIDE!"
"He's going to die out there, isn't he?"
"Probably."
"NURSE HELP I AM IN NEED OF MEDICAL RESISTANCE-I MEAN TREATMENT!"
"Is your head ok?"
"IM NOT SURE..."
"Hm. Not much I can do as long as you're still fighting out there. Maybe I can try first aid? No that won't really do much if you have a head injury..."
"WHY CAN'T I FEEL MY EVERYTHING?"
"Maybe it has something to do with all those arrows in you."
"HOLD THE LINE! HOLD THE LIIIIIIINNNNEEEEE!"
"It's ok guys, I can handle myself in combat."
"Good. I'll get him inside."
"Anything out there worth some money?"
WAIT WHAT DID ACTUALLY DID JUST HAPPEN!? WHY AM I EVEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD? WHY IS THERE A GOBLIN HERE? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARMY OF GOBLINS BACK AT MY BASE?
"The Nurse saved you at the last minute. You actually were able to take care of the majority of the goblins before blacking out completely. I just took care of the rest and had the Dryad send you back out here with her nature powers or something."
"This is totally NOT just something I made up because I forgot to take enough screenshots of the goblin fight!"
"Wait, who was that?"
"Who was what?"
I'll just try to forget all this ever happened and keep exploring this side of the world.
I found you, faker! Say something, you fake sword!
How did YOU get here?
"FOOL! THE DARKNESS IS EVERYWHERE!"
"I TOLD YOU! THE DARKNESS IS EVERYWHERE AND COVERS EVERYTHING! NYEGHEGHEG!"
"I could have told you that, but I found it funnier to just watch you wander around on the wrong side of the world."
"Well...um...JOKE'S ON YOU 'CAUSE I FOUND A RARE FAKE SWORD OVER HERE!"
"Good for you."
USELESS WEAPON, YEAH!
Found a way around that though. If I just put down a couple stone blocks to stand on, I can stand close enough to this stuff to mine it without becoming well done.
"You know I forgot to tell you, there's an obsidian skull you can make that prevents getting burned by blocks like this."
"OH I'M SURE YOU FORGOT."
And with that out of the way, I now have a Meteor Hamaxe to replace my old copper axe and my not quite as old lead hammer. Anyways, I think I'm going to go underground again and see if I can find a mirror. I really want to do some deep underground exploration, but I want one of those first in case I fall in lava.
"The other goblins? You mean the ones that invaded my base earlier and nearly killed me?"
"Possibly the same ones. Their cities are all over the place underground. By the way, seeing how I'm now basically homeless, do you perhaps have a place for me to stay at this base of yours?"
"How can I be sure that I can trust you over the other goblins?"
"I can combine accessories and reforge your tools."
"Well..."
"And make rocket boots."
JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE WOOD FOR A TABLE AND THAT GOBLIN WILL HAVE A HOME HERE.
"BY THE WAY GUIDE HAVE YOU SEEN THESE SPECTRE BOOTS I MADE OUT OF SOME ROCKET BOOTS AND HERMES BOOTS? THEY LET ME FLY AND RUN REALLY FAST!"
"..."
Gold bunny, what?
"DID SOMEONE SAY GOLD?"
Seems the merchant wants one. GET OVER HERE, BUNNY!
"You think that's good, you should see what a solid gold bunny goes for on the secondary market."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Now I have an arms dealer here! Now I can actually have ammo for my musket.
Got my full set of shadow armor, found a meteorite, found one edge of the world, got a goblin to move in, and got an arms dealer to move in, but I still need to do more random things before I can make anymore real progress.
"Get comfortable folks, today's gonna be another filler episode."
First things first, I'm paying the Arms Dealer a visit. My platinum bow has been good, but my musket is better and needs ammo.
"Hands off anything you're not buying."
I'm coming back for you later...
One of the things I've been needing to get for a long time but haven't found yet is a magic mirror. I really need one of those if I'm going to be doing any real exploration deep underground or in the jungle, and seeing that I'm at the point where I need to go to one of those two places, I'm going to need one now. So, got the only two moonglows I have, a couple blinkroots, and some platinum ore, and made a couple spelunker potions. I'm going down there, and I'm not coming back up until I find a mirror.
I can see an ice chest in there, but I do have to wonder why someone built a house on top of fragile ice.
"Not sure which I find more confusing, the fact that someone built a house there, or the fact that there's still a house built there."
Well, ignoring the questionable building techniques of some random cave dweller, all that's in here is an ice blade and a gravity potion. The ice blade would have been a good weapon if I had found it earlier, but I do have a use for that gravity potion.
Now that I have this I could just leave, but I'm going to take a quick look around. Never know what you'll find.
"I've got deals on everything! Need exotic goods from the East? Perhaps looking to improve your weapons stock? Or maybe you would be interested in an Angel Statue?"
"I'll take the compass I guess."
"A good choice! You know, a guy like you might also be interested in a night vision helmet! Could I interest you in-" "Yeah enough of that."
I've got another gravity potion, and I know how I want to use it.
At last, I can continue my search for a lucky horseshoe! Now then, what's in here?
YEAH! TAKE THAT GRAVITY, I FOLLOW MY OWN LAWS OF PHYSICS NOW!
Found another island, and a strange plant on it. So, what's in this chest?
Long story short, didn't find any more islands up there, but down here I found this place. I think this might be the old dungeon the Nurse has mentioned a couple times.
"Hey old man, do you need any help there?"
...
Well no response from him. Guess I'll check the rest of the dungeon for anything valuable.
Down, down, to goblin town. You go my lad! Ho ho, my lad!
...
STAY BACK! BACK I SAID!
...
Is it safe to go in there now?
Going deeper, deeper, and yet deeper...
However, I've been going on for a while now, so I'm calling it for today. Next time: Deep Underground!
TO THE CORE!
Oh hey a spider. Hey maybe I should take a chapter to talk about spiders and spider dens instead of-
"WILL YOU JUST GET A MOVE ON FOR RED'S SAKE!"
"Alright..."
Alright, I believe this is where I stopped last time because of the lava. And of course, the first thing I run into is a boulder trap, just to remind me how many traps there are waiting to kill me down here.
SWIGGITY SWORD, I'M COMIN' FOR THAT...UM...SWORD!
YEAH!
Is this one an Arkhalis?
Ok, fit of vengence fueled rage over. I should probably go see what's in that marble biome.
"Good day. Lookin' to do some trading? Yeh've come to the right place."
(THIS IS REALLY WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE.)
Bought some bottles of some mysterious brew he was selling. I don't even know why I would want the stuff, but I was kind of afraid of leaving without buying anything. He might not have taken too kindly to that.
Moving on though, found this second marble biome down here, which actually does have a marble treasure house.
Complete with an Enchanted Boomerang! It may not be too good right now, but I have plans for this.
ABOUT
FRIGGIN
TIME.
Found a deep underground spider den. Anything worth taking here?
"WELCOME TO THE UNDERWORLD, HOME OF THE UNDERWORLD, MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"
That's it, I've gone too far.
"Or so you think."
"Wait, there's more?"
"You'll see in time. If you get there."
"You know for being a guide, you do a really bad job of ACTUALLY GUIDING ME."
Think I've done a good amount of exploring down here, and it doesn't seem like there's anything else I could really find down here. Time to head back up to the surface and think about where I can go next.
"Just a GPS. But you're going to need a pocket watch first. You know, you could also combine the blizzard in a balloon and the horseshoe..."
"I'm saving that blizzard in a balloon in case I get the chance to make a bundle of balloons."
"If you insist. You'll end up combining them eventually though, mark my words."
Next time: The loot!
"By the way, did you change your outfit?"
"Forgot to mention that. Made myself some obsidian pants and an obsidian jacket so I can enter the jungle in style."
"Hate to break it to you, but that's actually #13."
"WHAT? What happened to #12?"
"You lost count at around #5. I thought you would have noticed by now, but you're just FULL of surprises aren't you?"
"If the opportunity arises, I SHALL TAKE IMMENSE PLEASURE IN KILLING YOU, GUIDE!"
And even more mushrooms. Guess I haven't found a mushroom biome yet, so it's good I found two of them. So, what's in this chest here?
"Um...miss, are you ok?"
(Why is this girl here and where are her clothers?)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
WHAT THE-WHO-WHY-WHAT WAS THAT?
"That was a nymph. They're very rare underground creatures who disguise themselves as lost girls to lure in adventurers like you."
I JUST MADE THESE OBSIDIAN PANTS, I DIDN'T THINK I'D NEED TO WASH THEM THIS SOON!
"Did you get a metal detector from one at least?"
"YEAH I THINK THAT'S WHAT THIS IS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
*10 minutes of regaining sanity later*
Alright, what's in this chest then?
"Sometimes pots open up a portal to some kind of coin dimension. No idea why either. The goblin tried to explain it to me...something about parallel universes and syncing speeds, combined with the placement of the pot relative to a parallel dimension pot...nothing I could really understand."
You didn't think I would miss Heart Crystal #14, did you? This time I'm finally on the right number...
In the depths of the underground jungle...
I have been waiting for this...
For a very long time...
THE
FINAL
HEART
CRYSTAL!!!
And also another scam artist. I'll ignore him for now.
Good thing I found one of these. Terrible weapon, but it's also a really good tool.
Most important is a Blade of Grass, second to that is the ivy whip. This Blade of Grass could be better though.
"HEY GOBLIN!"
Oh. The scam artist left. I'm sure nothing of value was lost.
"He spent all day trying to sell the Dryad an angel statue."
"Try to make your next weapon more carefully. Took me an exceptionally long time to fix up this one."
"Sorry, still getting over finding a nymph."
Time to retire my Starfury, after all this time. It's been a good sword, this one is just a lot better.
Next time: My Completed House!
Wait, what?
"Azerath metryon zynthos..."
"Guess I'm not getting any answers from you."
"FOOL! You think you can beat the KING OF ALL SLIMES?"
"How is this slime blob talking too?"
"What? No, I'm not just a slime blob, I'm a slime person. See the ninja guy here?"
"Are you really just that fat then?"
"OF COURSE NOT, YOU WEAKLING! To get this powerful I fused with 200 OTHER SLIMES, which means I AM NOW THE STRONGEST SLIME IN THE WORLD!"
"Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak slimes stronger."
"WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT!"
"YOU WISH YOU COULD JUMP AS WELL AS THE KING OF ALL SLIMES, DON'T YOU?"
Well, guess I can talk about strategy...
Oh wait I really don't need any for this guy, I just need to keep swinging my sword. I guess for anyone fighting this guy earlier in the game, use a ranged weapon and have a cloud in a bottle for mobility? Really, King Slime is the weakest boss of them all.
"IT'S NOT OVER TIL IT'S OVER, BUDDY!"
"BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT I CAN TELEPORT, WERE YOU?"
"Where are you teleporting to?"
"RIGHT ON TOP OF Y-oh."
"Maybe you should learn to jump faster."
There we go. Too bad I'm not going to use anything he dropped, except maybe someday the solidifier. Wait did he leave behind two crowns when he died? I only saw one...
Probably best not to think about it.
Great. Another salesman.
"Good day! Good day! Care to see what exotic goods I have brought from-" "Yeah whatever. I'll take some of those rune walls and that DPS meter."
"Excellent choices sir! I also have some high quality dirt blocks from overseas, if you're interested."
"Get out."
"With this junk? Probably some Goblin Tech."
"How did this get the name Goblin Tech?"
"It looks like something a goblin would have thrown together."
"NOT ALL GOBLINS, MIND YOU!"
Not much in the way of decoration, but it'll do.
"Also one side of the roof is shorter than the other."
"I'll fix that later. For now, I've spent too long building and not enough time looting. I'm going back to the jungle."
Oh, hey. A heart crystal. Not like I really need these now, unless I want to make heart lamps. Not keeping track of how many of these I've found anymore though, seeing how they're no longer necessary.
Well, my musket had a good run, but now there's this. I only have to wonder what a shotgun is doing inside a tree.
"They should just be made of normal wood, I guess this tree just doesn't want to burn. Of course, just in this one trip to the jungle you've found a shotgun inside a tree and a salamander that was holding a yo-yo, so reality has basically been out the window and into the trash."
"Even if lava trees are normal for this place, I don't feel like going down in there to find out what treasure is in here."
I GET IT WORLD, I NEED TO DO THAT THING WITH THE BEEHIVES. I'LL GET TO IT SOON.
Up near the surface now, but no aglet so far. Just a guide to plant fiber cordage. Probably a better guide than my ACTUAL Guide.
"You couldn't do without me and you know it."
"Yeah I'm pretty sure I could do without you."
Do I really look like I need more climbing claws?
TIME FOR A TRUE DISPLAY OF MY NEW POWER!
"OH GREAT, YOU AGAIN."
"STOP IT!"
"WHY MUST YOU DO THIS?"
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) is pretty good! On the other, are you absolutely sure you should court visitations from Eye of Cthulhu without proper ranged weapons or armor? Maybe you can hide underground if it decides it wants a piece of you...
