The serious tag really makes this thread twice as good.
Also, people who tell me to blow on my soup as if that magically makes it the appropriate temperature to consume.
Blowing on it doesn't cool the soup down, it's spending 5 minutes blowing on it that cools the soup down. I could have spent those 5 minutes curing a goddamn disease and came back to eat delicious, temperature-appropriate soup as a reward.