drain.
Terrarian
So, yeah, I'm probably not the type of guy to be posting these kinds of stuffs, but I need some sort of advice, here.
So, I've had a huge crush on this girl, my classmate (to which we will call EJM.), for at least 15 months. It started out as a small adoration on how beautiful and kind she was, I would pass by her and randomly say, 'You look very beautiful.', as a small remark on her looks, and she would smile back, sometimes, she would've thrown a small 'Right back at you.", remark.
So after this little charade went for about a few weeks, EJM approached and initiated conversation. As an ice-breaker, she asked me, 'Why do you keep calling me beautiful?', to which I responded, 'Because it's true!', so she punched me in the shoulder and said I was flattering her. Since it was last period and the teacher didn't come, our conversation lasted maybe 50 minutes, and as that conversation ended, she had taken something special from me.
She had taken my heart.
And with that, I fell. Everything in my mind beyond that point was her. I would fail at tests because I didn't listen to the teacher, instead I would look at her. She would occasionally catch me looking, to which she replied with a smile. I would've probably been a bit embarrassed, but that smile of hers makes my heart melt, and my spirit strong.
After about 4 months of dreaming of her, I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt. I still remember the blank expression on each of our faces when I said, 'I love you.", we just stood there for about 15 minutes, staring at each other's faces. After that, her sister started calling her, and they went home. She looked back, and that was about it.
So, the next day, first period was English, we were writing poetry at the time, and I was about the only adept poet there in the classroom, so my classmates usually go to me to ask if grammar, spelling and wording is correct. Most of my classmates treat and respect me as a 'Human Dictionary', including EJM, well it used to include her. Beyond after that point of my confession, she rarely started talking to me. I would initiate the conversation and we would talk just fine. But before she used to be this peachy girl who always started the conversation.
So, with a broken heart, and frail emotion. I fell into depression, I would just stand in front of the computer all day, browsing TO, playing games, making sprites, but I didn't say a thing. I wouldn't smile, I wouldn't eat, I would sleep really late. Because of this, I would skip school, lie in bed all day. As a result, my grade dwindled rapidly. In the rare occasion that I did go to school, I would just sit in the corner, looking at the window, momentarily shifting my vision toward her position. She would sometimes catch me looking, but only give a light smile, it wasn't fake, so that helped me a bit.
So, after 6 months of going through this, I finally decided I wouldn't take anymore, I slept early, woke early, took a bath, put on my uniform, and head to school. To which after that, my classmates asked me what happened to me. I didn't answer any of them and all I did was wait at the classroom door, waiting for EJM to get to the classroom. I saw her, and approached her immediately, I grabbed her hand, and looked intently at her beautiful face. I took a deep breath, and said, 'EJM, I know it's been awkward for both of us these last few months, but can we start over?', I said with great confidence and courage. To which she replied with a smile, a nod, and an embrace.
So, yeah, everything was back to normal, my depression disappeared, our friendship recovered, and I got my grades up.
So, after 5 months of the old routine, EJM and I being friends, hanging out with her after school, and she felt comfortable with me, again. Until, of course, yesterday, school was done, and we were both going home. We reached the fork in a road where we separated, we were about to go to each other's way until I grabbed her hand, and said, 'EJM, I love you.', and, hopefully, it won't end up last time.
She replied with a smile, grabbed my hand with me, and I walked her home.
I have rest of the week without school because sem-break, and before I go see her again, I need your guy's advice, what I do now?
So, I've had a huge crush on this girl, my classmate (to which we will call EJM.), for at least 15 months. It started out as a small adoration on how beautiful and kind she was, I would pass by her and randomly say, 'You look very beautiful.', as a small remark on her looks, and she would smile back, sometimes, she would've thrown a small 'Right back at you.", remark.
So after this little charade went for about a few weeks, EJM approached and initiated conversation. As an ice-breaker, she asked me, 'Why do you keep calling me beautiful?', to which I responded, 'Because it's true!', so she punched me in the shoulder and said I was flattering her. Since it was last period and the teacher didn't come, our conversation lasted maybe 50 minutes, and as that conversation ended, she had taken something special from me.
She had taken my heart.
And with that, I fell. Everything in my mind beyond that point was her. I would fail at tests because I didn't listen to the teacher, instead I would look at her. She would occasionally catch me looking, to which she replied with a smile. I would've probably been a bit embarrassed, but that smile of hers makes my heart melt, and my spirit strong.
After about 4 months of dreaming of her, I finally got the courage to tell her how I felt. I still remember the blank expression on each of our faces when I said, 'I love you.", we just stood there for about 15 minutes, staring at each other's faces. After that, her sister started calling her, and they went home. She looked back, and that was about it.
So, the next day, first period was English, we were writing poetry at the time, and I was about the only adept poet there in the classroom, so my classmates usually go to me to ask if grammar, spelling and wording is correct. Most of my classmates treat and respect me as a 'Human Dictionary', including EJM, well it used to include her. Beyond after that point of my confession, she rarely started talking to me. I would initiate the conversation and we would talk just fine. But before she used to be this peachy girl who always started the conversation.
So, with a broken heart, and frail emotion. I fell into depression, I would just stand in front of the computer all day, browsing TO, playing games, making sprites, but I didn't say a thing. I wouldn't smile, I wouldn't eat, I would sleep really late. Because of this, I would skip school, lie in bed all day. As a result, my grade dwindled rapidly. In the rare occasion that I did go to school, I would just sit in the corner, looking at the window, momentarily shifting my vision toward her position. She would sometimes catch me looking, but only give a light smile, it wasn't fake, so that helped me a bit.
So, after 6 months of going through this, I finally decided I wouldn't take anymore, I slept early, woke early, took a bath, put on my uniform, and head to school. To which after that, my classmates asked me what happened to me. I didn't answer any of them and all I did was wait at the classroom door, waiting for EJM to get to the classroom. I saw her, and approached her immediately, I grabbed her hand, and looked intently at her beautiful face. I took a deep breath, and said, 'EJM, I know it's been awkward for both of us these last few months, but can we start over?', I said with great confidence and courage. To which she replied with a smile, a nod, and an embrace.
So, yeah, everything was back to normal, my depression disappeared, our friendship recovered, and I got my grades up.
So, after 5 months of the old routine, EJM and I being friends, hanging out with her after school, and she felt comfortable with me, again. Until, of course, yesterday, school was done, and we were both going home. We reached the fork in a road where we separated, we were about to go to each other's way until I grabbed her hand, and said, 'EJM, I love you.', and, hopefully, it won't end up last time.
She replied with a smile, grabbed my hand with me, and I walked her home.
I have rest of the week without school because sem-break, and before I go see her again, I need your guy's advice, what I do now?
. My advice would be to relax, and do the same thing you to did when you were friends, I mean, despite the fact you liked her, you had a calm easy relationship. Take turns starting the conversation, and don't be to controlling. Just act like a good friend, and things will settle themselves. 
.
