The Gay Preamble, Act 1:
We the Gays reserve the right to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, and yassify land, persons, and objects at any and all leisure.
We the Gays reserve the right to be limp-wristed, speedwalkers, and drink iced tea, coffee, and other such beverages in freezing conditions.
We the Gays reserve the right to sarcastically explain, over-enunciate, and use unclear, vague, and often rare terms and/or phrases such as "tomfoolery" or "that tracks".
We the Gays reserve the right to talk to, but not so much as to listen to, the Straights.
We the Gays reserve the right to be that much more traumatized than other persons such as the Straights and Europeans.
We the Gays reserve the right to listen to Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, and girl in red at any and all leisure.
We the Gays reserve the right to be attracted to any and all lumberjacks who wear flannel in a non-joking and serious manner, or "unironically", as it will be referred to throughout the remainder of this document.
We the Gays reserve the right to avoid living, laughing, and loving, in that specified order. Each of these states, on their own, are not to be avoided.
We the Gays reserve the right to have important questions that are important and can be questioned.
We the Gays reserve the right to work in any of the "arts", these being Theatre, Painting, Digital Art in any form, Music in any form, and Dance in any form.
We the Gays reserve the right to have a six-pack without working out a day in our lives.
We the Gays reserve the right to love others, in no unclear terms, just as much as we love ourselves.
We the Gays reserve the right to look ridiculously good, even if none of the clothing colors currently on our body matches.
We the Gays reserve the right to be femme.