Absorb The Non-Issue

I point out that's not how physics or thermodynamics or whatever works. You freeze me and shatter me with a flamethrower as proof for your point.

I get frozen and then shattered.
 
Pieces of you fly at me and one goes straight through my neck.

I was slain by piece of Chir'.
 
The piece of Chir' then goes through you and then goes through my neck, killing me.

I turn on a water fountain.
 
The water fountain overflows onto me and freezes, freezing me solid again.

The room is full of ice now.
 
The piece of Chir' slide from frozen water fountain and hit my leg, causing me to fall into frozen water fountain, impaling me, and making a dead pegasus blood fountain.

I probably stained the ice with my blood.
 
Which causes the ice to melt onto me, which it then refreezes.

I'm frozen solid once again.
 
I'm tired of ice, so I try to thaw you, only for earthquake to destroy the house, burying me under rubble and killing me.

I get killed and buried by earthquake.
 
You then become a zombie and kill everybody.

I've become zombified.
 
A Francis kills me in a Francispocalypse.

I get killed by a hater guy.
 
He threw you off a cliff, onto a button that when pressed blows up the entire universe.

The universe just exploded.
 
I attempted to kill Francis only for <ERROR - UNIVERSE MISSING>

<LOAD LAST SAVE?>
> Y
> N

<You are dead due to Chir' dead body. You are overwhelmed. Respawn?>
> Y
> N

I attempt to see what caused a backup to kill me with Chir'.
 
It happens the reason that is your most recent backup is because it was the last time you weren't dead. So, when you come back to life, you create a paradox that kills me.

I was slain by paradox.
 
I get deleted by world auto-repair machine.

I brew some spirits in Frackin' Universe.
 
One of the spirits happened to be mine, killing me very brutally.

I'm melted from the inside, out.
 
I watch your body melt, then kill myself because I can't deal with the memory of watching you melt.

I throw an avali TF potion at someone.
 
I get hit, turn, and explode, killing me.

I get killed by Dragonwolf throwing an avali TF potion at me.
 
Pieces of you fly at me, and one flies through my head.

My face was impaled by piece of Changing Flask.
 
Then you murder me for murdering you even though it was caused by my dead body.

I get murdered by a glitching Lunatic Cultist.
 
You start glitching, and delete me by accident.

<Name> was deleted.
 
Because you didn't specify a name, you delete me by accident.

I drink an avali TF potion.
 
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