Absorb The Non-Issue

I attempt to steal the egg back from the hunters, and put that egg in an incubator. I succeed, but I was fatally wounded, and succumbed to my injuries a minute later.

The egg begins hatching.
 
However the incubator lacked any way to get out without help, so I'm trapped inside and die of dehydration.

I reincarnate as a drake.
 
You notice me shortly after being reincarnated. Unfortunately, I happen to be tied directly to the back of a sheep, and you are oddly ravenous, and eat both me and the sheep. And the rope. (Edit: I would like to point out that I had to look up what a drake was, which at first apparently gave me "male duck", though a suggestion was "what is a drake dragon", which helped.)

I reincarnate as an anthropomorphic dragon.
 
Unfortunately, I am a feral batpony. And you being a carnivore doesn't help, so you hunt me down and make a feast out of me, lasting for a few days.

I play some Left 4 Dead 2 with friends.
 
You find a Witch, I sacrifice myself to save all of us

I'm hunting a Fatalis and it started its Super Flamethrower Attack, I'm run out of potions and HP
 
I give you my last potion, even though I'm suffering from fatal poison and on the brink of death.

I plant a sunflower.
 
You find a very large shell, which happens to be my skull. Disgruntled, I turn to you to complain that I need my skull back, when a seagull aimlessly smacks into the back of my head, damaging my brain beyond repair.

When I revive, I find the seagull and give it a stern talking to about paying attention.
 
Unfortunately, the seagull didn't pay attention to you talking to it, and ends up colliding with me mid-flight, causing us both to fall to our deaths.

My cat meows at me to let him in the room.
 
It’s a supersonic meow that ruptures my kidneys, liver, and spleen, and shatters my rib cage and spine. Obviously, I die.

I get out of a car
 
they're nuclear socks that kill everything you walk past, and i just happen to be sleeping on the sidewalk

dooppiio appears, stubs its toe, explodes, and magically comes back to life
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it is a little known fact that air is necessary for life, and the absence of it, and everything else, is lethal for most kinds of sneks
they're unable to warn me about the invisible acidic lava puddle

someone writes something with a pencil and then erases it
 
That happened to be my name that was written in the notebook from Death Note. Unfortunately, erasing names doesn't bring me back to life. (Just FYI: I haven't read/watched Death Note, but I know it involves a notebook that kills the people who's names get written inside of it.)

I'm part cat again.
 
It happens to be a black hole, which quickly sucks up everything in the room, including me... before proceeding to suck up the planet within mere minutes.

I create an artificial pair of wings.
 
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